argument10 jingjing【限时+修改=考前的最后奋战】

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

TOPIC: ARGUMENT10 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers."
WORDS: 528          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-2-18
（提纲就不写了，请多包涵^_^）
Before accepting the author's recommendation that Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices in order to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk, I find the argument is not sufficiently supported by the evidence given. The author seems to unduly base on the unsubstantiated assumptions and draw a conclusion that is fundamentally flawed.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that the price of milk at Excello Food can stand for that all over the Batavia area. However, this might not be the case. It is entirely possible that the prices of milk in other regions of Batavia are much lower than that in Excello Food. Thus, if this is the truth, it would absolutely undermine the author's conclusion.

In addition, even assuming that the local price at Excello Food could precisely reflect the overall price of Batavia, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the increase of the price and the excessive profits that could be obtain by farmers. Obviously, the author overlooks some other explanations for the increased milk price in Batavia. It is highly possible that the total level of consumption in Batavia has ascended significantly and other commodities become more expensive than ever before, thus there is a certain requirement for the adjustment of milk price to a higher prices in order to guarantee the necessary profits. Moreover, the author has failed to account for other possible factors which may also affect the increase of milk price, for example, the increased costs of milk producing and delivering fee. Without considering and ruling out these scenarios, the author's recommendation is totally unconvincing.

Besides, the evidence cited by the author that the amount of dairy farms throughout the country increased lends little support to his conclusion. There is a possibility that these additional farms were shifted from producing milk to other functions such as the planting of crops or raising other stocks-sheep, chicken or ducks. On the other hand, the augment of nationwide dairy farms does not necessarily indicate the increase of dairy farms in Batavia. Therefore, the author's assumption that the supple of milk would be increased is completely groundless.

Finally, the author apparently neglects the latent bad influence brought by the new regulation of milk price. Common sense informs us the manufacture would not produce more if the price of their products cannot be increased. If the regulation were supposed to keep the milk price lower, it would certainly depress the farmer's desires for pursuing more profits. Even worse, it would lead to the collapse of the milk market if all farmers were less willing to supple milk for customers constantly. Therefore, the author cannot persuade us this regulation will be effective and beneficial for both consumers and producers, we cannot accept it whole-heartedly.

In sum, the argument is problematic in several respects as discussed above. To bolster it, the author should provide more detailed evidence that the price of Excello Food Market can reflect throughout Batavia and farmers indeed gain excessive profits on the increased supply of milk. To further support it , the author should prove that such regulation is actually effective in regulating the lower prices and adequate supple of milk.

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

大家有兴趣的话可以看看“坐火车到传说中的湘南海岸”－我的个性链接
真的是美好的回忆，呵呵^_^

cavanaUID: 2178782

Before accepting the author's recommendation that Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices in order to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk, I find the argument is not sufficiently supported by the evidence given. The author seems to unduly base on the unsubstantiated assumptions and draw a conclusion that is fundamentally flawed. [开头不错！]

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that the price of milk at Excello Food can stand for that all over the Batavia area. However, this might not be the case. It is entirely possible that the prices of milk in other regions of Batavia are much lower than that in Excello Food. Thus, if this is the truth, it would absolutely undermine the author's conclusion.

In addition, even assuming that the local price at Excello Food could precisely reflect the overall price of Batavia, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the increase of the price and the excessive profits that could be obtain by farmers. Obviously, the author overlooks some other explanations for the increased milk price in Batavia. It is highly possible that the total level of consumption in Batavia has ascended significantly and other commodities[日用品在这里不太好吧，就直接说除牛奶以外的所有商品，all the products besides milk] become more expensive than ever before, thus there is a certain requirement for the adjustment of milk price to a higher prices in order to guarantee the necessary profits. Moreover, the author has failed to account for other possible factors which may also affect the increase of milk price, for example, the increased costs of milk producing and delivering fee. Without considering and ruling out these scenarios, the author's recommendation is totally unconvincing.

Besides, the evidence cited by the author that the amount of dairy farms throughout the country increased lends little support to his conclusion. There is a possibility that these additional farms were shifted from producing milk to other functions such as the planting of crops or raising other stocks-sheep, chicken or ducks.[我觉得这个地方 说这些奶牛场转型不太合适吧，那不就不算奶牛场了。可以说全国的奶牛场的增加是因为国民对牛奶的需求的增加，甚至有可能 这些增加的奶牛场还是无法满足需求] On the other hand, the augment of nationwide dairy farms does not necessarily indicate the increase of dairy farms in Batavia. Therefore, the author's assumption that the supple of milk would be increased is completely groundless.

Finally, the author apparently neglects the latent bad influence brought by the new regulation of milk price. Common sense informs us the manufacture would not produce more if the price of their products cannot be increased. If the regulation were supposed to keep the milk price lower, it would certainly depress the farmer's desires for pursuing more profits. Even worse, it would lead to the collapse of the milk market if all farmers were less willing to supple milk for customers constantly. Therefore, the author cannot persuade us this regulation will be effective and beneficial for both consumers and producers, we cannot accept it whole-heartedly.

In sum, the argument is problematic in several respects as discussed above. To bolster it, the author should provide more detailed evidence that the price of Excello Food Market can reflect throughout Batavia and farmers indeed gain excessive profits on the increased supply of milk. To further support it , the author should prove that such regulation is actually effective in regulating the lower prices and adequate supple of milk.
好羡慕你噢，限时还可以写这么多，而且还写的这么流畅！

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

非常感谢，请留下你的链接！

果小冻UID: 208370

我刚逛完就回来拉...嘿嘿感动不...还累着呢

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

你今天会记些什么呢？我想看到的是小小快乐，开心，天真，幼稚的一面，哈哈

jingjingtousUID: 2164820

坐火车到传说中的湘南海岸，   看过这个了吗？我很欣赏的，呵呵，一定要看哟
在我的链接里面

cavanaUID: 2178782

这两个都是我今天写的，随便拍哪个都行啊，呵呵 谢谢啦

issue147
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
argument170
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 cavana 于 2006-2-19 17:00 编辑 ]

果小冻UID: 208370

Before accepting the author's recommendation that Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices in order to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk, I find the argument is not sufficiently supported by the evidence given. The author seems to unduly base on the unsubstantiated assumptions and draw a conclusion that is fundamentally flawed. [开头简明扼要提出自己的观点，又有特色，总之我喜欢的要死。呵呵]

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that the price of milk at Excello Food can stand for that all over the Batavia area. However, this might not be the case. It is entirely possible that the prices of milk in other regions of Batavia are much lower than that in Excello Food. Thus, if this is the truth, it would absolutely undermine the author's conclusion.

In addition, even assuming that the local price at Excello Food could precisely reflect the overall price of Batavia, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the increase of the price and the excessive profits that could be obtain by farmers. Obviously, the author overlooks some other explanations for the increased milk price in Batavia. It is highly possible that the total level of consumption in Batavia has ascended significantly and other commodities become more expensive than ever before, thus there is a certain requirement for the adjustment of milk price to a higher prices in order to guarantee the necessary profits. Moreover, the author has failed to account for other possible factors which may also affect the increase of milk price, for example, the increased costs of milk producing and delivering fee. Without considering and ruling out these scenarios, the author's recommendation is totally unconvincing.

Besides, the evidence cited by the author that the amount of dairy farms throughout the country increased lends little support to his conclusion. There is a possibility that these additional farms were shifted from producing milk to other functions such as the planting of crops or raising other stocks-sheep, chicken or ducks. On the other hand, the augment of nationwide dairy farms does not necessarily indicate the increase of dairy farms in Batavia. Therefore, the author's assumption that the supple of milk would be increased is completely groundless.

Finally, the author apparently neglects the latent bad influence brought by the new regulation of milk price. Common sense informs us the manufacture would not produce more if the price of their products cannot be increased. If the regulation were supposed to keep the milk price lower, it would certainly depress the farmer's desires for pursuing more profits. Even worse, it would lead to the collapse of the milk market if all farmers were less willing to supple milk for customers constantly. Therefore, the author cannot persuade us this regulation will be effective and beneficial for both consumers and producers, we cannot accept it whole-heartedly.

In sum, the argument is problematic in several respects as discussed above. To bolster it, the author should provide more detailed evidence that the price of Excello Food Market can reflect throughout Batavia and farmers indeed gain excessive profits on the increased supply of milk. To further support it , the author should prove that such regulation is actually effective in regulating the lower prices and adequate supple of milk.
[你的语言真的很好的。但是我觉得在攻击的逻辑顺序上有点不妥，，呵呵个人观点哦。好象不是那么顺。恩说说我的看法吧，这个题目我考前没有看过的，所以是临时看的哈，错了表打我，看在我对你一片忠心的份上，哈哈。
1牛奶农场的数量上升不代表牛奶的数量上升。有可能总的农场数是上升了，但是单个的产量却下降了。
2牛奶的价格上涨不代表奶农的利润上升，可能是通货膨胀等其他原因。
3即使上面的情况都属实，那也不能就盲目的做出规范的建议，因为调低价格等反而会使牛奶供应不足，起到反作用。]

lydia31358UID: 2155356

我试着改喽~~~~


argument10 jingjing【限时+修改=考前的最后奋战】

TOPIC: ARGUMENT10 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers."
WORDS: 528          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-2-18
（提纲就不写了，请多包涵^_^）
Before accepting the author's recommendation that Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices in order to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk, I find the argument is not sufficiently supported by the evidence given. The author seems to unduly base on the unsubstantiated assumptions and draw a conclusion that is fundamentally flawed. 开头不错欧,挺简洁的

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that the price of milk at Excello Food can stand for that all over the Batavia area. However, this might not be the case. It is entirely possible that the prices of milk in other regions of Batavia are much lower than that in Excello Food. Thus, if this is the truth, it would absolutely undermine the author's conclusion.

In addition, even assuming that the local price at Excello Food could precisely reflect the overall price of Batavia, the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the increase of the price and the excessive profits that could be obtained (小笔误，hehe:))by farmers. Obviously, the author overlooks some other explanations for the increased milk price in Batavia. It is highly possible that the total level of consumption in Batavia has ascended significantly and other commodities become more expensive than ever before, thus there is a certain requirement for the adjustment of milk price to a higher prices in order to guarantee the necessary profits. Moreover, the author has failed to account for other possible factors which may also affect the increase of milk price, (这句话可以省略，前面已经说过作者忽略他因了） for example, the increased costs of milk producing and delivering fee. Without considering and ruling out these scenarios, the author's recommendation is totally unconvincing.这段的攻击点挺好的,引出第二个可能时用or perhaps就可以了

Besides, the evidence cited by the author that the amount of dairy farms throughout the country increased lends little support to his conclusion. There is a possibility that these additional farms were shifted from producing milk to other functions such as the planting of crops or raising other stocks-sheep, chicken or ducks. On the other hand, the augment of nationwide dairy farms does not necessarily indicate the increase of dairy farms in Batavia. Therefore, the author's assumption that the supple of milk would be increased is completely groundless.

Finally, the author apparently neglects the latent bad influence brought by the new regulation of milk price. Common sense informs us the manufacture would not produce more if the price of their products cannot be increased. If the regulation were supposed to keep the milk price lower, it would certainly depress the farmer's desires for pursuing more profits. Even worse, it would lead to the collapse of the milk market if all farmers were less willing to supple milk for customers constantly. Therefore, the author cannot persuade us this regulation will be effective and beneficial for both consumers and producers, we cannot accept it whole-heartedly.

In sum, the argument is problematic in several respects as discussed above. To bolster it, the author should provide more detailed evidence that the price of Excello Food Market can reflect throughout Batavia and farmers indeed gain excessive profits on the increased supply of milk. To further support it , the author should prove that such regulation is actually effective in regulating the lower prices and adequate supple of milk.
后三段都挺好的
总的来说是: 很好!看出楼主下了很大力气在作文上欧:)赞一个
请你看看我的吧,谢谢!
我的习作 issue147

果小冻UID: 208370

恩.这个孩子可努力了.嘿赞个...姐姐表扬哈...呵呵