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[i习作temp] Issue51 教育类高频,欢迎同主题的互拍! [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-2-28 13:39:39 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 495          TIME: 1:00:00          DATE: 2006-2-27

Since the time I am writing this article, I have experienced many kinds of educations, initiatory education in the elementary school, strict education in the high school and unrestricted education in the college, none of which had been only designed to cater to students’ tastes. Although sometimes I hate the boring verbal brought and on occasion couldn’t get used to the style of certain teachers, I have to admit that those I didn't like in the past do bring me lots of benefit in an unknown way. Therefore, I cannot agree with the author that education designed only to meet the individual needs and interests of each student will be truly effective.

First of all, it is really hard for the schools to set up an education that can cater to every student. Everybody has his or her own interests and needs; one may crazy about computer and the other may be potty about traditional arts. So meeting every students’ desire means only when a school owning one thousand persons designs one thousand kinds of education styles can it satisfy everybody. It is not only a luxury, but it is also an impossibility. The society has insufficient money and energy to construct such large education system.

Even though the schools suffice to provide the education system mentioning above, I don't think it is worthy enough. Firstly, young people have difficulties to tell right from wrong; therefore they need some guides to avoid deviating from the right road. Can the teachers provide computers just because the boys love computer games? Can the dean cancel exams just because the students assert exams put too much pressure on them? The answers are certainly "absolutely no". Some students may argue they want to study but they just like to learn the subjects they are interested. Can the schools satisfy this request? I also think they cannot. Every subject schools provide has its own significance. Science can practice our analytical and critical thinking and liberal arts can improve our aesthetic standards and even interpersonal skills and so on. Therefore we can quit none of them until the society think they do not have their values.

Admittedly, we can not deny that the interests and needs of students can really effect the efficient they study. Take my own experience as an example, from the elementary school to the college, the subject with the highest score is always the maths, which is my favorite. Because the interesting is the motivity for me to study hard and it really helps me study better. So when the schools design the education, they should also place enough emphasis on students’ needs and interests.

In sum, I don’t agree with the author that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet each student’s needs and interests. Only when the education take both scientific methods and students' interests and needs into consideration can it become really potent to students.

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发表于 2006-2-28 22:10:17 |只看该作者
Since the time I am writing this article, I have experienced many kinds of educations, initiatory education in the elementary school, strict education in the high school and unrestricted education in the college, none of which had been only designed to cater to students’ tastes. Although sometimes I hate the boring verbal brought(?) and on occasion couldn’t get used to the style of certain teachers, I have to admit that those I didn't like in the past do bring me lots of benefit in an unknown way. Therefore, I cannot agree with the author that education designed only to meet the individual needs and interests of each student will be truly effective.[第一段个人似乎感受太浓了点]

First of all, it is really hard for the schools to set up an education that can cater to every student. Everybody has his or her own interests and needs; one may [be] crazy about computer and the other may be potty about traditional arts. So meeting every students’ desire means only when a school owning one thousand persons designs one thousand kinds of education styles can it satisfy everybody[这句话应改改]. It is not only a luxury, but [it is 删]also an impossibility[好偏的词]. The society has insufficient money and energy[society 接 has 不大好吧,而且energy 用在society上也不太合适,改成 There are no enough social resources] to construct such large education system.

Even though the schools suffice to provide the education system mentioning above, I don't think it is worthy enough.[] Firstly, young people have difficulties to tell right from wrong; therefore they need some guides to avoid deviating from the right road. Can[用should比较好,下面的也是如此,can 表能力] the teachers provide computers just because the boys love computer games? Can the dean cancel exams just because the students assert exams put too much pressure on them? The answers are certainly "absolutely no"[太强硬了点吧,好像在训人]. Some students may argue they want to study but they just like to learn the subjects [in which]they are interested. Can [the 删]schools satisfy this request? I also think they cannot. Every subject schools provide has its own significance. Science can practice our analytical and critical thinking and liberal arts can improve our aesthetic standards and even interpersonal skills and so on.[这段论述有点突如其来,与上文练习不紧] Therefore we can quit none of them until the society think[社会不是人,不是追求拟人效果,最好不要think] they do not have their values.[这一段的主题句是说如此教育不值得worthy,而后文主要谈的却是学校不应当提供学生感兴趣的内容,散了些。选例也有些极端,中国味很浓]

Admittedly, we can not deny that the interests and needs of students can really effect the efficient they study.[?] Take my own experience as an example, from the elementary school to the college, the subject with the highest score is always the maths, which is my favorite. Because the interesting is the motivity for me to study hard and it really helps me study better. So when the schools design the education, they should also place enough emphasis on students’ needs and interests.[这段论证不强,学校没有为你提供教育条件,你一样学的很好,不正说明了特殊设计的无用吗,没有起到让步的效果]

In sum, I don’t[do not] agree with the author that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet each student’s needs and interests. Only when the education take both scientific methods and students' interests and needs into consideration can it become really potent to students.[?].  


[感觉论证散了点,每段论证目标不集中。第一段的从可实现性上考虑,思路不错,不过说的情况在中国很合适,美国会这样吗?据说美国有许多学校真的是应才施教。
开头的个人色彩太重,有一点点表示不满的意思,但出人意料的支持了统一教育,有点迷惑。
语言还应多打磨一下。

能力有限,有不当处还望指正!  ]

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RE: Issue51 教育类高频,欢迎同主题的互拍! [修改]

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