同主题第二期 166 大家互相留链接修改吧。：）

清荷才露UID: 2163929

166．People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

Common sense tells us that children will finally grow up to become adults. So what makes children and adults different from each other? In my opinion, it is experiences that make a person adult since life is a journey to experience and accumulate everything so that we can serve the society better.

To begin with, an adult attains more academic knowledge than a child does in most aspects. For example, an adult can do the complex calculation when it comes to a grocery owner but a child can not. It is because experiences could enrich our academic knowledge. We understand that lightning precedes thunders because the velocity of light is much higher than the velocity of sound. We experience the gravity of the earth and know Newton’s law of gravity.

In addition, adults are could expect the outcomes of most circumstance since they have experienced a lot of things, either the frustrations or the successes. As a result, this ability enables them to make the right decision in the shortest time when they face some emergencies such as a car accident, the outbreak of heart attack or asthma and so forth. Lacking of this ability, less lives could be saved and more griefs will occur. However, the children are not able to handle these circumstances.

Last but not least, the ways to think and solve the problems are different between children and adults. As we all know, children always think and solve the problems directly. They focus on the problem itself without expecting the following problems after solving the current one. Moreover, they are always dependent on the adults when it comes to the situations which are beyond their abilities. On the contrary, adults think thoroughly before they begin to solve the problem. They will keep balance between the advantages and disadvantages the solution may bring to the issue.

In sum, I regard the experiences as the event to make a person adult. It enriches the academic knowledge, widen the sights and help developing a optimal way of thinking for an adult.


在大家的评论下我发现自己偏题骗得很厉害，似乎被困在一个框框里。刚才重写了一下，希望大家再给我一些意见。谢谢：）可以留下连接，我会去看的，并且留下我的拙见。^^

Children and adults are different both physically and mentally. Physically, children look young, childish, weak while adults look mature and strong. Mentally, children are dependent and can’t make their own decision while adults are independent and could give their own opinions as well as make decisions of their won. In my point of view, I regard independence as the most significant sign to make a person adult.

Before the age of 18 or college life, children rely on their parents and families. Although they may have a part-time job to earn a small amount of money, for example, sending newspapers in the community, they depend on their parents either economically or psychologically. The education tuition is paid by their parents, the spending of their entertainments are covered by their families; they ask for consolation when they are frustrated in school, they go to their parents for advice when face a dilemma.

However, when they reach the age of 18, they are lawful adults. It is time for them to move out of the family and live alone to earn their own life. They may go to hunt for a job to survive or they may further their education in college with the fellowship which will cover all the fees for their life. During this period, they learn how to get along well with others, how to solve the problems in the optimal way, how to make their own decisions and present their own viewpoints. They begin to step into the world of adults.

Then, the college students graduate and get a job to make ends meet. They start to suffer the great pressure of the boss, the society, and even themselves. They create their careers and begin to make their own families. Ultimately, they get married and soon have their own babies. They take the responsibility to take care of the babies and their family as well. They act the role of the first teacher of their babies and witness their first step, first fall, first word, first laughter and so forth. They are the adults in their children’s eyes and they are the adults of the society now.

In conclusion, it is independence which makes children adults. This sign can be moving out from their parents’ and living alone, or it can be getting married and beginning to be parents themselves.

[ 本帖最后由 清荷才露 于 2006-4-17 22:45 编辑 ]

清荷才露UID: 2163929

up 一下，，，

alex6945UID: 2130168

似乎通篇文章中,没有一个例子,似乎与题目要求不符,文章也略显单调说教位太浓了.

xizzhuUID: 2195156

原帖由 清荷才露 于 2006-4-16 15:18 发表
166．People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

C ...

Except for your introduction, others 跑题了八.

the topic requires you to answer "What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult?

your supporting ideas are:
1.an adult attains more academic knowledge than a child does in most aspects.

2. ability enables them to make the right decision

3. the ways to think and solve the problems are different between children and adults

None of those 1,2 and 3  responds to "what xx make a person an adult", it seems that you are talking about "the difference between a child and an adult.

personal opinion.

here is mine.

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D4

[ 本帖最后由 xizzhu 于 2006-4-17 01:50 编辑 ]

清荷才露UID: 2163929

谢谢alex和xizzhu的意见，我重新写了一下，请大家继续打击打击我：）

xizzhuUID: 2195156

Children and adults are different both physically and mentally. Physically, children look (--->are,  hardly to explain, how about i give you an example:  'i live in a big city like BeiJin--which means i live in a big city, just like BeiJin but of course i do not live in BeiJin", make sense? )  or  (you could say:  children look younger..... young, childish, weak while adults look mature and strong. Mentally, children are dependent and can’t make their own decision while adults are independent and could give their own opinions as well as make decisions of their won. (if you want to emphasize "independent,  how about this:   Children are not independent .... while adults are independent....    "In my point of view, I regard independence as the most significant sign to make a person adult.

Before the age of 18 or college life, children rely on their parents and families. Although they may have a part-time job to earn a small amount of money, for example, sending newspapers in the community, they depend on their parents either economically or psychologically. The education tuition is paid by their parents, the spending of their entertainments are covered by their families; they ask for consolation when they are frustrated in school, they go to their parents for advice when face a dilemma.

However, when they reach the age of 18, they are lawful adults (有吗?) . It is time for them to move out of the family and live alone to earn their own life. They may go to hunt for a job to survive or they may further their education in college with the fellowship which will cover all the fees for their life. During this period, they learn how to get along well with others, how to solve the problems in the optimal way, how to make their own decisions and present their own viewpoints. They begin to step into the world of adults.

Then, the college students graduate and get a job (those are real points to this topic) to make ends meet. They start to suffer the great pressure of the boss, the society, and even themselves. They create their careers and begin to make their own families. Ultimately, they get married and soon have their own babies. They take the responsibility to take care of the babies and their family as well. They act the role of the first teacher of their babies and witness their first step, first fall, first word, first laughter and so forth. They are the adults in their children’s eyes and they are the adults of the society now.

In conclusion, it is independence which makes children adults (?  Becoming independence makes children adults. This sign can be moving out from their parents’ and living alone, or it can be getting married and beginning to be parents themselves (放在这里起什么作用泥? 上文中没提啊,  又没有development?  .


here is mine:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 xizzhu 于 2006-4-18 05:13 编辑 ]

woodygtUID: 2136751

Children and adults are different both physically and mentally. Physically, children look young, childish, weak while adults look mature and strong. Mentally, children are dependent and can’t make their own decision while adults are independent and could give their own opinions as well as make decisions of their won. In my point of view, I regard independence as the most significant sign to make a person adult.其实你后面已经给出了具体的event了，这里可以直接把他们说出来，文章就显得清楚的多了，虽然我也老有这个问题。。。

Before the age of 18 or college life, children rely on their parents and families. Although they may have a part-time job to earn a small amount of money, for example, sending newspapers in the community这个example我觉得没有必要，毕竟是让步段，而且离主题很远, they depend on their parents either economically or psychologically. The education tuition is paid by their parents, the spending of their entertainments are covered by their families; they ask for consolation when they are frustrated in school, they go to their parents for advice when face这个地方我会写成facing，应该用原型吗？我语法比较懒的说 a dilemma.

However我觉得这个转折用的不好，或者说这句没有表达出真正应该转折到的地方，比如说18岁让child开始独立之类的。反正我觉得这个转折挺别扭的, when they reach the age of 18, they are lawful adults. It is time for them to move out of the family and live alone to earn their own life. They may go to hunt for a job to survive or they may further their education in college with the fellowship which will cover all the fees for their life.这个跟常识可能还是有点出入吧，至少most college student的tuition是没有fellowship来cover的 During this period, they learn how to get along well with others, how to solve the problems in the optimal way, how to make their own decisions and present their own viewpoints. They begin to step into the world of adults.

Then, the college students graduate and get a job to make ends meet. They start to suffer the great pressure of the boss, the society, and even themselves. They create their careers and begin to make their own families. Ultimately, they get married and soon have their own babies. They take the responsibility to take care of the babies and their family as well. They act the role of the first teacher of their babies and witness their first step, first fall, first word, first laughter and so forth. They are the adults in their children’s eyes and they are the adults of the society now.

In conclusion, it is independence which makes children adults. This sign can be moving out from their parents’ and living alone, or it can be getting married and beginning to be parents themselves.

整体感觉第二段还是没在题上，而且没有去强调event的作用

loiswtfUID: 2177029

同意4楼的说法
似乎你只是想说只有独立是最重要的event,我也不知道只说一件事可不可以，但总觉得面太窄了，有点不符合题目要求吧

loiswtfUID: 2177029

还要谢谢你给我提出的意见，今天时间不够了，没自习帮你看行文，明天吧
要睡觉了，呼呼，明早继续作套题~~