Agument147【加州阳光】第二次作业，欢迎排砖！

jj7710UID: 204058

提纲：
1.喜欢的游戏类型并不代表游戏玩家会买这种游戏。
2.文章中提到要求使用最新的电脑，会降低游戏的普及程度。
3.调查和广告的对象不是同一群体。

正文：
The editorial in a business magazine get the conclusion that the trend of declining of the sales of Whirlwind video games will be reversed because of recent survey about what kind of video games the game players most like to play. The conclusion based on the fact that Whirlwind has just introduced several such games. The whole editorial seems plausible at first glance, however, we will find that the author commits several fallacies when analyzing his assertion.

The conclusion based on a survey which is concentrated at the type of video games the player most want to play shows nothing connected with the sales of the games. That game players want to play that kind of video game does not guarantee that they will buy that game. It is possible that the game player owned several games of this kind. Although they want most to play that kind of game, they do not need to buy a new one. And many features affect the sales of a game. Lifelike graphics is only one of them. Other features such as the personality of the characters there, the screen surrounding of the whole game, the structure of the game, also weigh a lot in the mind of the game player.

Furthermore, the most favored games which provide lifelike graphics require the most up-to-date computers. The majority of the game players might not be able to own a up-to-date computer. It is quite possible that they do not buy that kind of new video game they could not play.

Another mistake is that the author of the editorial commented that Whirlwind has an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old which will help the sales of the game. And the author pointed out that group of people are most likely to play games. First, no evidence or facts support the statement that people between 10 to 25 are most likely to play games. It is just the author's personal opinion. Second, the survey above is not mentioned to be directed at that group of people, thus, the reliability of the survey has been greatly diminished. Third, even all this is true, many factors have influence on the effect of an advertisement, such as the background music, time phrase it broadcasted, even the color of the advertising board.

In a word, the author should do more research in the video game players, and do some profound investigations about the whole video game market before getting any prediction about the sales of Whirlwind video games.

benniUID: 2166321

The editorial in a business magazine get the conclusion that the trend of declining of the sales of Whirlwind video games will be reversed because of recent survey about what kind of video games the game players most like to play. The conclusion based on the fact that Whirlwind has just introduced several such games. The whole editorial seems plausible at first glance, however, we will find that the author commits several fallacies when analyzing his assertion.

The conclusion based on a survey which is concentrated at the type of video games the player most want to play (prefer to) shows nothing connected with the sales of the games. That game players want to play that kind of video game does not guarantee that they will buy that game. It is possible that the game player owned several games of this kind. (表示已经拥有，用have owned。ｐｓ：这说法真妙！) Although they want most to play that kind of game, they do not need to buy a new one. And many features affect the sales of a game. Lifelike graphics is only one of them. Other features such as the personality of the characters there, the screen surrounding of the whole game, the structure of the game, also weigh a lot in the mind of the game player.

Furthermore, the most favored games which provide lifelike graphics require the most up-to-date computers. The majority of the game players might not be able to own a up-to-date computer. It is quite possible that they do not buy that kind of new video game they could not play.（that后面是两个没有连词的句子）

Another mistake is that the author of the editorial commented that Whirlwind has an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old which will help （help是一种主动的帮助，一个事实对另一个实施的贡献最好用contribute or be a factor）the sales of the game. And the author pointed out that group of people are most likely to play games. (that 如果是代词，这句话少连词，如果是连词，group前面少连词或代词) First, no evidence or facts （fact） support (supports) the statement that people between 10 to 25 are most likely to play games. It is just the author's personal opinion. Second, the survey above is not mentioned to be directed at (direct at，似乎不用被动) that group of people, thus, the reliability of the survey has been greatly diminished.

Third, even all this is true, many factors have influence on the effect of an advertisement, such as the background music, time phrase it broadcasted, even the color of the advertising board. （其实这一段你可以写影响顾客购买与否的因素有很多，其中包括宣传广告，单写影响广告的因素感觉有点牵强）

In a word, the author should do more research in the video game players, and do some profound investigations about the whole video game market before getting any prediction about the sales of Whirlwind video games.

没啥大毛病，给你５分～:lol