Issue38【加州阳光】第二次作业，狠拍

jj7710UID: 204058

提纲：
1.电视节目涉及到各方面，的确让我们学到了很多东西。
2.主要知识尤其是专业知识来自于阅读书本。
3.书本和电视获取知识的性质不同，书本为主动式，电视为被动式。
4.人们较为习惯于从书本中学习知识，以电视为休闲。

正文：
In a modern world full of various kinds ways of learning, people are having more choice than ever to find one suitable way to learn. Obviously, two of the most important ways of learning at the time are reading books and watching television. As the contemporary society, to some extent, is a society of television, the question that which way is more important, the traditional way of reading books or the modern way of watching television, are in fierce debate. As far as I am concerned, I do not agree with the above statement that reading books are being less important and people can learn as much by watching television as by reading books.

I have to admit that television, a product we could see almost everywhere, do profoundly affect our daily life and thus brings great changes to the whole society. There are so many things we could get from the television programs that sometimes, we pay less attention to books. If we want to know the latest news, what we have to do is sitting in front of a television, turning on a remoter, tuning the channel at the news program, then both the latest news and relative comments on that piece of news are sending to your mind.  If we want to get relax, the only thing different is tuning the channel on an entertaining program. And, if we want to get some knowledge in one special field, just search for a right channel, and then, you will get it. Learning something from the television is very easy and might be enjoyable.

However, the main knowledge, especially the professional knowledge, can not be get from watching television but from reading classical books of that field. Television, as a mass media, has its own limitations, including aiming at attracting majority of ordinary people, concentrating on how to raise the number of people watching the program. When someone wants to learn a course, take the example of college mathematics, he could hardly find a program about if because most people could not understand it and they have no need to understand it , so they will never watch  a program about mathematics, and that kind of program have no avoiding from disappearing. In contrast, various books about mathematics will be popular as books for the college students who have to learn mathematics.  

Another advantage of reading books over watching television is that one can initiatively learn one book ignoring what he does not interest while passively watching the television program without any option and intentional omission. Watching television unavoidly diminish the chance of omitting what he has learned or what he does not need to learn. He might need to watch a 24 hours program on mathematics for two days while what he want to get is a formula referred in about two random minutes. By contrary, the same person searches a book, turn to the page about the formula, in five minutes he will finish the job.

AS a matter of fact, television, in most people's opinion, is still a manufacture for entertaining and books, always are the implement of learning knowledge. We are used watching television as relaxing after we have studied diligently on the text books.

In sum, from the above analysis, we could conclude that although in the age of television, we could receive some knowledge from watching television, reading book is still a main mode of learning and it will not be outdated in a considerable time.

benniUID: 2166321

In a modern world full of various kinds (kinds of) ways of learning, people are having more choice (choices) than ever to find one (用a舒服一点，因为并不强调 one or two) suitable way to learn. Obviously, two of the most important ways of learning at the time are reading books and watching television. As the contemporary society (“在现代社会”应该是用介词in吧，而且这句话没主语——介词短语不能做主语), to some extent, is a society of television, the question that which way is more important, the traditional way of reading books or the modern way of watching television, are（is, 主语是question） in fierce debate. As far as I am concerned, I do not agree with the above statement that reading books are being less important and people can learn as much by watching television as by reading books.

I have to admit that television, a product we could see almost everywhere (a commonly seen product), do profoundly affect our (建议避免用I you our us之类的词, 可改为people’s) daily life and thus brings great changes to the whole society．There are so many things (so many things太口语化了，可用there is abundant knowledge) we could get (obtain) from the television programs that sometimes, we pay less attention to books.(不通顺，that连接的是什么从句？programs在从句里做什么成份？) If we want to know the latest news, what we have to do is sitting in front of a television, turning on a remoter, tuning the channel at the news program, then both the latest news and relative comments on that piece of news are sending to your mind.  If we want to get relax, the only thing different (the only different thing 形容词前置) is tuning the channel on an entertaining program. And, if we want to get some knowledge in one special field (最好举个例子，比如艺术鉴赏，或者考古), just search for a right channel, and then, you will get it.(这句话的主语有问题，首先if从句的主语是we; “and” 前的句子，谓语是search，无主语，此处不能省略，and之后的主语应该和if从句是一致的，但你又换成了we) Learning something from the television is very easy and might be enjoyable. ( might be easy and enjoyable)

However, the main knowledge, especially the professional knowledge, can not be get from watching television but from reading classical books of that field. Television, as a mass media, has its own limitations, including aiming at attracting majority of ordinary people, concentrating on how to raise the number of people watching the program (audience). When someone wants to learn a course (have a course), take the example of college mathematics, he could hardly find a program about (? about what?) if (为什么用if?) because most people could not understand it and (用actually铺垫一下比较好) they have no need to understand it , so they will never watch a program about mathematics, and that kind of program have no avoiding from disappearing.(这个例子不够简练。此外，我觉得这个例子的侧重点，应该是“需要数学”的人看不到相关的节目，因此仅仅看电视是不ok的；然而，你把大量篇幅放在了“不需要看数学节目的人”身上——大部分的人对数学不感兴趣也无法理解，所以这类电视节目少，这样有点喧宾夺主。) In contrast, various books about mathematics will be popular as books for the college students who have to learn mathematics. (In contrast, text books, as the main tool for college education, are always popular due to…)

Another advantage of reading books over watching television is that one can initiatively learn one (a) book (read a book, learn的宾语只能是知识或者技能，不能说学一本书) ignoring what he does not interest (interest in, mm上次就出现过interest 后面少介词的问题，下次注意呦) while passively watching the television program without any option and intentional omission. Watching television unavoidly (unavoidably) diminish (diminishes: 动名词作主语谓语三单) the chance of omitting what he has learned or what he does not need to learn. He might need to watch a 24 hours program on mathematics for two days while what he want (wants, 此外want本身不是很书面，而且你前面用过三四了，最好多备一些同类词，换着用) to get is a formula referred in about two random minutes. By contrary, the same person searches a book, turn to the page about the formula, (没有连词连接search和turn to ) in five minutes he will finish the job.

AS (As) a matter of fact, television, in most people's opinion, is still a manufacture for entertaining and (while,有转折的感觉，放在这儿比and贴切) books, always are the implement of learning knowledge (learning本身就是学习了，不用再加knowledge). We are used watching television as (consider…as…比较好) relaxing after we have studied diligently on the text books. （after diligent reading）

In sum, from the above analysis, we could conclude that although in the age of television, we could receive some knowledge from watching television, reading book is still a main mode of learning and it will not be outdated in a considerable time (不太确定用a time 指一段时间对不对).

总结：
１、题目是说电视是否能代替书，可你写的是电视和书哪个更重要，我觉得有点轻微的跑题。

２、尽量少用ｙｏｕ　ｉ　ｗｅ　之类的词，用ｐｅｏｐｌｅ　ｏｎｅ　ｍａｎ　ｓｏｍｅ　替代

３、ｍｍ的例子的语言还需要精简再精简，否则造成的效果是，说了不少，但是还是有理由不太充分的感觉。

４、主谓不一致和句子少主语、多谓语的错误较多，建议ｍｍ写完以后，分开时间，多修改两遍，重点注意主谓的问题，毕竟自己发现的错误，印象会深得多。

５、建议ｍｍ抽时间看一些范文，收集一些比较常用的词汇，你的这篇文章多次用到，ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ，ｔｈｉｎｇｓ，ｇｅｔ，之类的词，使语言显得太概括

咻～完毕

[ 本帖最后由 benni 于 2006-6-10 16:56 编辑 ]

jj7710UID: 204058

因为书很重要，所以不会被代替啊，这样理解有问题？

其余各条接受。
As the contemporary society (“在现代社会”应该是用介词in吧，而且这句话没主语——介词短语不能做主语), to some extent, is a society of television,  
这里as是连词因为的意思，所以主语是contemporary society。

再次谢谢benni 这么仔细为我改的文章。因为家里网络问题，一直没能看到。受益匪浅
看来我的任务还很繁重。