Argument130 【黄金十二宫－白羊宫】第十次作业

asong2004UID: 2178054

TOPIC: ARGUMENT130 - The following appeared in the annual report of a chain of stores that sell supplies for do-it-yourself home improvements.

"Current reports indicate that sales of new homes nationwide declined by 9 percent during the past year, while sales of existing homes increased by 16 percent. Thus we can expect that the percentage of homeowners who will be making repairs or improvements to their homes will also increase. In addition, people who buy existing homes will have more money left over after the purchase to spend on home improvements. Finally, people who buy existing homes are more likely to make improvements themselves, as opposed to paying someone else. These factors combined indicate we can expect an increasing demand for products in all our stores nationwide, thus increasing our profits in the coming year."
WORDS: 408         TIME: 75min唉，羡慕大家的速度啊。          DATE: 2006-6-21
1.        概括匆忙：即使上升也不一定买你的，全国的上升不代表每个连锁店都生意好了。
2.        买二手房未必要修理，可能就没钱呢。
3.        不一定要自己装修的。

In this argument, the arguer concludes that all stores will increase demand for products and grain next year because of a survey that sales of new homes declined and existing increased last year. Moreover, he provided some facts to support his hypothesis that people prefer purchase existing homes. While this argument seems somewhat specific and plausible at first glance, close inspection would reveal it fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted claims in several aspects.
Firstly, the author commit a fallacy of hast generalization. Even if the rising of sales of existing homes possibly cause the demand raise, it does not follow that most of client will buy existing from their own stores. It is entirely possible that the quality of their existing homes are inferior and  their staff's attitude to buyers are more abominable than opponents.
Furthermore, increasing tendency of the country does predicate that every store's transaction will raise. For instance, district A is an impacted area and  residents are richer, district B lies in desert by contraries. Apparently , we can not expect the district B's increasing of sales of existing.
In addition, the author falsely depends on gratuitous precondition that all homeowners of existing homes must repair their homes. No such evidence  indicate that secondhand houses' condition of habitation are so damned that the buyers had to maintain them. Further, the arguer fails to consider the possibility that people don't have enough money to pay new house. Perhaps, country's economy entered into winter the past year, a great number of people had fewer salaries even became lumen .They  cannot but purchase  low-cost homes, decorating for their homes  is merely an extravagant hopes.
Finally, the guesswork of existing homes buyers who  will likely to do repairing by themselves groundless . After all, not all buyers who purchase second hands have enough ability to  make improvements . It is well known that repairing and decorating and is a technology need adequate knowledge and appropriate tools. It is too hard to a tyro. Moreover, such as  an important department 's leader or a manager administers a  multinational corporation who work all day busily. It is more possible to them  to spend much  time and energy on working rather than repair homes.
In sum, only with more evidence concerning all stores profits will increase and people prefer buy existing homes which need they make improvements could this argument become more than just an emotional appeal.

渡渡鸟UID: 145880

In this argument, the arguer concludes that all stores will increase demand for products and grain next year because of a survey that sales of new homes declined and existing increased last year. Moreover, he provided some facts to support his hypothesis that people prefer purchase existing homes. While this argument seems somewhat specific and plausible at first glance, close inspection would reveal it fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted claims in several aspects.
(开头比以前好些了,不过还是有模板痕迹)

Firstly, the author commit a fallacy of hast generalization. Even if the rising of sales of existing homes possibly cause the demand raise, it does not follow that most of client will buy existing from their own stores. It is entirely possible that the quality of their existing homes are (is) inferior and their staff's attitude to buyers are more abominable than opponents. (和房子的质量有什么关系?)

Furthermore, increasing tendency of the country does predicate that every store's transaction will raise. For instance, district A is an impacted area and  residents are richer, district B lies in desert by contraries. Apparently , we can not expect the district B's increasing of sales of existing. (典型的样本缩小,应该体现出nationwide和local的差异)

In addition, the author falsely depends on gratuitous precondition that all homeowners of existing homes must repair their homes. No such evidence  indicate(单三) that secondhand houses' condition of habitation are so damned that the buyers had to maintain them. Further, the arguer fails to consider the possibility that people don't have enough money to pay new house. Perhaps, country's economy entered into winter the past year, a great number of people had fewer salaries even became lumen .They cannot but purchase low-cost homes, decorating for their homes is merely an extravagant hopes.

Finally, the guesswork of existing homes buyers who  will likely to do repairing by themselves groundless . After all, not all buyers who purchase second hands have enough ability to  make improvements . It is well known that repairing and decorating and is a technology need adequate knowledge and appropriate tools. It is too hard to a tyro. Moreover, such as  an important department 's leader or a manager administers a  multinational corporation who work all day busily. It is more possible to them  to spend much  time and energy on working rather than repair homes.

In sum, only with more evidence concerning all stores profits will increase and people prefer buy existing homes which need they make improvements could this argument become more than just an emotional appeal.

前2段的论述还是太简单了, 导致最后写完只有400字~
平时练习时最好写到500左右
另外你的格式还是不对, 顶格写, 2段之间一定要空一行~