Issue150 [smile-小组]-第五次作业，请各位不吝赐教

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

Issue150
"Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

Outline
1 it is convenient to watch on television or surf the web for information and picture about some well known tourism places.
2 television and internet only play an important role of advertisement for some famous tourism places.
3 it is the emergence and development of both television and internet that has boosted the development of tourism.

With fast development of television and worldwide computer connectivity, People could acquire mountains of information everyday, which could make people know about or on some degree familiar with more famous touring places where they have never been. However, tourism would not become obsolete but be boosted as result of television and internet.

Admittedly, it is convenient to watch on television or surf the web for information and picture about some well known tourism places. However, there are some severe disadvantages for television and internet web. For one thing, they are only visual, intangible and to some extent relentless mirror of the real and beautiful scene. For another thing, it is impossible for television and internet to cover all the details about the beautiful scenery. So, with a visual image and incomplete information about the real places on television and web, you can only have a little, if any, real perception about spectacle in your dream places.

As a matter of fact, television and internet only play an important role of advertisement for some famous tourism places. In most of the time, the image or introduction about a fantastic place put on television and internet by either the tourism agent or some other organization is just a trick to inform and attempt people to have a trip to that place. Just imagine that, when you have a first glance about a famous place with green trees and grass dotted by flourish flowers on the mountain,  clean and dream water flowing in the gorge and also beautiful legends and girls, how you can endure your impulsion not to have a dream trip to that place. This can even help you move on the way to earn more salary and squeezing more holidays for that dream trip.

Historically, it is the emergence and development of both television and internet that has boosted the development of tourism. Television and internet have actually advanced the tourism all over the world based on not only rapid dispersion of information but also the vivid and spectacular image. How many people all over the world knew Shingrila, the paradise in the mundane world, ten years ago? Thanks to the powerful propaganda and advocate of television and internet, hundred thousands of tourists will enjoy this peaceful and extremely beautiful paradise with original ecology, society and culture. Further more, it has been a routine at present that people will firstly collect information and get a primary impression about a targeting place, then take carefully both money and time into consideration, and finally rush to enjoy that tourism.

We are lucky in a world where we can have a preview of our dream place trough television and internet even we are begrudge in both time and money temporarily. However, we would be happy more when we are allowed economically and timely to enjoy that dream place truly.

vitaminxixiUID: 2159890

Issue150
"Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

Outline
1 it is convenient to watch on television or surf the web for information and picture about some well known tourism places.
2 television and internet only play an important role of advertisement for some famous tourism places.
3 it is the emergence and development of both television and internet that has boosted the development of tourism.
跟我观点一样，呵呵，看来这种高科技的文章创新比较难了
With fast development of television and worldwide computer connectivity, People could acquire mountains of information everyday, which could make people know about or on some degree familiar with more famous touring查了下是旋转的意思 places where they have never been. However, tourism would not become obsolete but be boosted as result of television and internet.

Admittedly, it is convenient to watch on television or surf the web for information and picture about some well known tourism places. However, there are some severe disadvantages for television and internet web. For one thing, they are only visual, intangible and to some extent relentless mirror of the real and beautiful scene. For another thing, it is impossible for television and internet to cover all the details about the beautiful scenery. So, with a visual image and incomplete information about the real places on television and web, you can only have a little, if any, real perception about spectacle in your dream places. 与提纲有点出入，按提纲套路这段应该写优点，但转得有点快了，可以对优点再展开点，体现思维的完整

As a matter of fact, television and internet only play an important role of advertisement for some famous tourism places. In most of the time, the image or introduction about a fantastic place put on television and internet by either the tourism agent or some other organization is just a trick to inform and attempt people to have a trip to that place. Just imagine that, when you have a first glance about a famous place with green trees and grass dotted by flourish flowers on the mountain,  clean and dream water flowing in the gorge and also beautiful legends and girls, how you can endure your impulsion not to have a dream trip to that place. This can even help you move on the way to earn more salary and squeezing more holidays for that dream trip. 进步好大啊，这段模式上、句法上、用词上都不错！最后这句有点扯了

Historically, it is the emergence and development of both television and internet that has boosted the development of tourism. Television and internet have actually advanced the tourism all over the world based on not only rapid dispersion of information but also the vivid and spectacular image. How many people all over the world knew Shingrila, the paradise in the mundane world, ten years ago? Thanks to the powerful propaganda and advocate of television and internet, hundred thousands of tourists will enjoy this peaceful and extremely beautiful paradise with original ecology, society and culture. Further more, it has been a routine at present that people will firstly collect information and get a primary impression about a targeting place, then take carefully both money and time into consideration, and finally rush to enjoy that tourism. 写得很不错，只是促进作用是不是踢得早了点

We are lucky in a world where we can have a preview of our dream place trough television and internet even we are begrudge in both time and money temporarily. 这句很好However, we would be happy more when we are allowed economically and timely to enjoy that dream place truly.
和你以前一篇文章一样，文尾没扣回主体，虽然不落俗套，但我的意见还是点下主题再升华的好

总的来说真的感觉你进步超快的！这样下去没问题了
有啥秘诀没，交流交流

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

谢谢vitaminxixi
没有什么的，只是因为没限时 可以多思考一会而已
每次从pp3.1 里把文章拷贝出来拼写都错一大堆，我晕阿 之前写单词少 终于报应了
加强训练吧

猫猫寿司UID: 2219543

With fast development of television and worldwide computer connectivity, People小写，呵呵笔误 could acquire mountains of information everyday, which could make people know about or onto some degree be familiar with more famous touring places where they have never been. However, tourism would not become obsolete but be boosted as result of television and internet.

Admittedly, it is convenient to watch on television or surf the web for information and picture about some well known tourism places. However, there are some severe disadvantages for television and internet web. For one thing, they are only visual, intangible and to some extent relentless mirror of the real and beautiful scene. For another thing, it is impossible for television and internet to cover all the details about the beautiful scenery. So, with a visual image and incomplete information about the real places on television and web, you can only have a little, if any, real perception about spectacle in your dream places. 这段有点太贬低了拉，特别是a little, if any呵呵，个人感觉

As a matter of fact, television and internet only play an important role of advertisement for some famous tourism places. In most of the time, the image or introduction about a fantastic place put on television and internet by either the tourism agent or some other organization is just a trick to inform and attempt people to have a trip to that place. Just imagine that, when you have a first glance about a famous place with green trees and grass dotted by flourish flowers on the mountain,  clean and dream water flowing in the gorge and also beautiful legends and girls, how you can endure your impulsion not to have a dream trip to that place. This can even help you move on the way to earn more salary and squeezing more holidays for that dream trip. 前半部分说大部分和广告和后面的身临其境景色描写不是很有关系，不妨把这段主题改成人有好奇心所以……后面的描写就好用了呵呵
Historically, it is the emergence and development of both television and internet that has boosted the development of tourism. Television and internet have actually advanced the tourism all over the world based on not only rapid dispersion of information but also the vivid and spectacular image. How many people all over the world knew Shingrila, the paradise in the mundane world, ten years ago? Thanks to the powerful propaganda and advocate of television and internet, hundred thousands of tourists will enjoy this peaceful and extremely beautiful paradise with original ecology, society and culture. Further more, it has been a routine at present that people will firstly collect information and get a primary impression about a targeting place, then take carefully both money and time into consideration, and finally rush to enjoy that tourism. 孩子，ｐｒｏｐａｇａｎｄａ是贬义词，二战的时候美国用了之后就变成贬义了，用publicity。本段开头的historically有点不明不白

We are lucky in a world where we can have a preview of our dream place trough television and internet even we are begrudge in both time and money temporarily. However, we would be happy more when we are allowed economically and timely to enjoy that dream place truly.
:)阅毕

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

谢谢，猫猫寿司，我仔细思考下再改，
有些东西是我水平所限 写不出来哈

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

Issue150
"Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

Outline
1 it is convenient to watch on television or surf the web for information and picture about some well known tourism places.
2 television and internet only play an important role of advertisement for some famous tourism places.
3 it is the emergence and development of both television and internet that has boosted the development of tourism.

With fast development of television and worldwide computer connectivity, people could acquire mountains of information everyday, which could make people know about or on some degree be familiar with more famous tourism places where they have never been. However, tourism would not become obsolete but be boosted as result of television and internet.

Admittedly, it is convenient to watch on television or surf the web for information and picture about some well known resort. People, if want, can almost get vivid introductions about any tourism place, no matter famous old buildings contained insightful human civilization or beautiful landscape imbedded with natural miracle. However, there are some severe disadvantages for television and internet web. For one thing, they are only visual, intangible and to some extent relentless mirror of the real and beautiful scene. For another thing, it is impossible for television and internet to cover all the details about the beautiful scenery. So, with a visual image and incomplete information about the real places on television and web, you can only have a little real perception about spectacle in your dream places.

As a matter of fact, television and internet only play an important role of advertisement for some famous tourism places. In most of the time, the image or introduction about a fantastic place put on television and internet by either the tourism agent or some other organization is just a trick to inform and attempt people to have a trip to that place. Just imagine that, when you have a first glance about a famous place with green trees and grass dotted by flourish flowers on the mountain,  clean and dream water flowing in the gorge and also beautiful legends and girls, how you can endure your impulsion not to have a dream trip to that place. This can even help you move on the way to earn more salary and squeezing more holidays for that dream trip.

Actually, it is the emergence and development of both television and internet that has boosted the development of tourism. Television and internet have actually advanced the tourism all over the world based on not only rapid dispersion of information but also the vivid and spectacular image. How many people all over the world knew Shangrila, the paradise in the mundane world, ten years ago? Thanks to the powerful publicity and advocate of television and internet, hundred thousands of tourists will enjoy this peaceful and extremely beautiful paradise with original ecology, society and culture. Further more, it has been a routine at present that people will firstly collect information and get a primary impression about a targeting place, then take carefully both money and time into consideration, and finally rush to enjoy that tourism.

We are lucky in a world where we can have a preview of our dream place trough television and internet even we are begrudge in both time and money temporarily. However, we would be happy more when we are allowed economically and timely to enjoy that dream place truly.

pgdxxxUID: 2185133

你好，我想加入你们的小组，不知道是否可以？
加入的话，有什么义务和权利吗？

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

你看B组的作业贴吧，站内ＰＭ　Ｓｍｉｌｅ看她／他意见吧

pgdxxxUID: 2185133