Issue87 有保留的反对(有拍必回 谢谢大家)

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Issue87 In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important discoveries.
有保留的反对，
1 在研究的过程中，新手确实能少一些成见，多一些passion, curiosity, 也更加能接受先进的思想或者技术来为我所用。
  老手受到一些名利，成见的影响。
2 新手的DISCOVERY，都只是浅层次的，随机的，运气的成分很大
3 老手更加清楚什么是真正的PROFESSIONALIAM，更加踏实与专注本学科的研究。事实是，新手往往是在专家的带领下，从基础工作做起，一步步学习怎么样成为一个圈内人，然后有持续性的发现。

The statement asserts that, beginner in any field of inquiry has a higher chance of making discoveries than the expert. At the first glance it seems reasonable in that beginner is the embodiment of curiosity, passion and fresh ideas, while the expert represent conservation. However, I disagree it strongly as the breakthrough discovery is oftentimes not from the whim and passion of the green hand but from the collective inspiration based on solid foundation of knowledge and professionalism propelled by motivation which only the expert can possess.

To support the statement the speaker might point out the two ostensible evidences. First, without the barriers of stereotype and routine, the newcomers always tend to employ their passion to take advantage of other disciplines to enrich the inquiry and are more skillful in the new tools such as computer. For example, a graduate who is sensitive to the fashion might apply the technology of blog to arrange the schedule of experiments or upload the daily questions to discuss with the colleagues. Or a newcomer good at mathematics can put the logical inducement into the study of mass communication.
Secondly, it is said that the experts, fettered by the vested achievements and daily trivial, might lose the time and passion, and even curiosity which are necessary for the important discoveries.

However, reflecting on these two evidences makes clear that the green hand is actually far from competent in making great discoveries. First, the advantages of the green hand such as passion, fresh idea, and curiosity are true but too limited for the real discoveries in any areas of inquiry. The true discoveries, among other things, are based on the honest study of innumerable achievements of the predecessors of the areas, which requires more perseverance than the contemporary passion. And the inspiration of new discovery in inquiry is by no means equal the unconscious findings and casual correlation. Consider, for example, the innovative idea of "the medium is the message" published by McLuhan, famous expert in mass communication, is contributed by serious research on related economics, sociology and Journalism for many years. In fact, any seemingly simple inspiration is generated by the deep thought before and the mind that has been whetted against the complexities encountered during the research. The innovative use of blog or methodology of mathematics in the research mentioned above, however, cannot be judged as important discoveries but potentials at best. Above all, any researcher who once loses the curiosity of the related subject will lose the career, regardless of green hand and experts. Thus, it is too hasty to say that beginners possess more required features for new discoveries.

Secondly, there is no denying that experts may encounter more harassment of their vested achievement and the public, but for the most time, they know far better than the beginners what the difficulties and procedures should be undergone to explore the true findings. A green hand with the formal education from the university is far from enough to act as the insider which requires not only knowledge but professionalism, or rather the deep motivation and peace of mind to get every seemingly little things well done. In fact, the green hand should conquer all the immaturity and fickleness with the guidance of the experts step by step. Just as Isaac Newton said "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” it is ridiculous for the green hand to dream of consistent great achievements without the consistent endeavor.

In sum, none of the ostensible evidence could support the assertion that beginners are more prone to achieve breakthrough. On the other hand, the experts, through all the difficulties and with solid foundation of the areas, have more insights and abilities to explore the real findings.

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seat taken拍去拍会.

pewcg8UID: 2143213

Issue87 In any field of inquiry, the beginner is more likely than the expert to make important discoveries.
有保留的反对，
1 在研究的过程中，新手确实能少一些成见，多一些passion, curiosity, 也更加能接受先进的思想或者技术来为我所用。
  老手受到一些名利，成见的影响。
2 新手的DISCOVERY，都只是浅层次的，随机的，运气的成分很大
3 老手更加清楚什么是真正的PROFESSIONALIAM，更加踏实与专注本学科的研究。事实是，新手往往是在专家的带领下，从基础工作做起，一步步学习怎么样成为一个圈内人，然后有持续性的发现。

The statement asserts that, beginner(前面加冠词,一般不要让单个名词"裸奔") in any field of inquiry has a higher chance of making discoveries than the expert. At the (直接说at first glance,the多余)first glance it seems reasonable in that beginner (同样的问题)is the embodiment of curiosity, passion and fresh ideas, while the expert represent conservation. However, I disagree (不及物动词,后加介词with)it strongly as the breakthrough discovery (这里不需要特指吧?注意后边你说的是often,那么最好用discoveries,否则矛盾.)is oftentimes not from the whim (本词不适合这里用.没有必要贬低新手想法吧......)and passion of the green hand but from the collective inspiration based on solid foundation of knowledge and professionalism propelled by motivation which only the expert can possess.
去掉1,2两句话直接点明中心比较好,虽然这种写法在北美范文里和网友习作里非常多，但是其实你前面绕的内容和你的中心关系不大,另外,建议中心句用短句点明,而不是把他埋在第一段最后的那个长句中去.

To support the statement the speaker might point out the two ostensible evidences. First, without the barriers of stereotype and routine, the newcomers always tend to employ their passion to take advantage of other disciplines to enrich the inquiry and are more skillful in the(作者的冠词处理的不是很好,不要滥用the.) new tools such as computer. For example, a graduate who is sensitive to the fashion might apply the technology of blog to arrange the schedule of experiments or upload the daily questions to discuss with the colleagues. (本句一口气出现了四个the,建议自己写完再读一下,太多的the打破了句子的节奏.)Or a newcomer good at mathematics can put the logical inducement into the study of mass communication.
Secondly, it is said that the experts, fettered by the vested achievements and daily trivial, might lose the time and passion, and even curiosity which are necessary for the important discoveries.继续下去啊,感觉到这里断了,作者本段是提出了两个evidences去支持原观点,建议最后总结一下,使段落圆滑.类似于总分总的感觉.

However, reflecting on these two evidences makes clear that the green hand is actually far from competent in making great discoveries. First, the advantages of the green hand such as passion, fresh idea, and curiosity are true(本句主干the advantages are true不搭配) but too limited for the(删去) real discoveries in any areas of inquiry. The true discoveries, (注意,不要混用real和true,这两个词意义有很大的区别.)among other things,(一样可以去掉) are based on the honest study of innumerable achievements of the predecessors of the areas, which requires more perseverance than the (删去)contemporary passion. And the inspiration of new discovery in inquiry is by no means equal the unconscious findings and casual correlation. Consider, for example, the innovative idea of "the medium is the message" published by McLuhan,an famous expert in mass communication, is contributed by serious research on related economics, sociology and Journalism for many years. In fact, any seemingly simple inspiration is generated by the deep thought before and the mind that has been whetted against the complexities encountered during the research. The innovative use of blog or methodology of mathematics in the research mentioned above, however, cannot be judged as important discoveries but potentials at best. Above all, any researcher who once loses the curiosity of the related subject will lose the career, regardless of green hand and experts. Thus, it is too hasty to say that beginners possess more required features for new discoveries.(例子不错)

Secondly, there is no denying that experts may encounter more harassment of their vested achievement and the public, but for the most time, they know far better than the beginners what (that吧?)the difficulties and procedures should be undergone to explore the true findings. A green hand with the(删去) formal education from the(一样可以删去) university is far from enough to act as the (an) insider (这个词不恰当,不过喜欢丹泽尔.华盛顿的那部<insider>的电影)which requires not only knowledge but professionalism, or rather the deep motivation and peace of mind to get every seemingly little things well done. In fact, the green hand should conquer all the immaturity and fickleness with the guidance of the experts step by step. (强调专家的知道作用等等)Just as Isaac Newton said "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” it is ridiculous for the green hand to dream of consistent great achievements without the (删去)consistent endeavor.

In sum, none of the ostensible evidence could support the assertion that beginners are more prone to achieve breakthrough. On the other hand, the experts, through all the difficulties and with solid foundation of the areas,(两个换个位置,先with再through,这样语言看起来就更好了) have more insights and abilities to explore the real findings.

总结:
1.文章采取的有保留的反对,重点在后边两段正文段,最后一段的论述较为精彩,前面略显逊色.
2.注意不要把I写成A了---参见silentwings的原文.特别是开头和结尾段的那些the statment, evidence其实完全可以去掉.
3.注意减少语法错误,特别是在开头段.
(1)长句中自己写完一定要再次看看句子的主干,看动词的数和时态,看前后是否搭配.
(2)冠词the不要滥用!
注意,有形容词修饰的名词,如果不特别强调,或者不特指,不要加the.
......of.......短语,一般of前后只用一个the.
一个句子中连续出现多个the,应该尝试修改.
4.注意词的搭配和使用,我们追求的是语言的准确,不是用词的新颖或者新奇.
5.注意长句和短句的交替使用,有的长句写的明显有堆砌的感觉.
6.文章的整体谦辞造句还是很好的.
以上均为个人意见，欢迎交流.

[ 本帖最后由 pewcg8 于 2006-8-2 08:24 编辑 ]