argument200 同主题写作10 by geniego

geniegoUID: 201395

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
WORDS:507         TIME: 0:50:00          DATE: 2006-8-14

提纲：
1．晕倒是否意味着压力大，作者并没有说明，晕倒实在麻醉药之前还是之后
而且，调查的结果是数量而不是比例，缺少说服力。另外，样本大小。
2．广告重心放在男性的可取性，首先受众，其次关注度，再次广告效应
3．关于敏感度，不用说了，就是rideculous

The author illogically comes to the conclusion that man are more likely to feel distress when visiting the dentist, only due to three times more men than women faint. Moreover, the author suggests dentists to attract more men and emphasize their effectiveness on anesthetic without clear causation and enough evidence.

From what the author concludes, in this statement, more men faint is because of distress. Here are some flaws I will indicate below. Firstly, that is common we all get anesthetic medicine when being treated, but in this statement, the author fails to indicate if they faint before or after the anesthetic medicine. If three times more men than women faint after anesthetic medicines, that is to mean the anesthetic medicine is more effective on men but not women, and it is really what the dentists want when they give the patient anesthetic medicine. Secondly, the data derived from dentists is lack of backgrounds. We even do not the how many people go to the dentists and the sex ratio. Perhaps men going to dentists are three times more than women, so the ratio of fainting men and women is equal.  And the numbers of samples is unknown, so it is quite irresponsible to come to conclusions, not to mention to give advice.

Even if we concede that the men are likely to faint, but to advertise in order to target on men is lack of caution and maybe result in a waste of money. When advertising, it is crucial to know the customers, who will pay attention to the advertisement, and how the advertisement effects. First of all, the number and sex ratio of the customers are unknown, maybe the women suffered toothache are much more in this area. And men are more likely to ignore advertisements. What is more, as a customer, he or she must doubt why this hospital focuses on men but not women. In this way, women may feel this hospital is unable to treat women customers, and the hospital might loss the women customers.

And there is still a severe fault. Is there any relationship between distress and the comfort of a patient and the sensitivity of there staff. Can the sensitivity handle any problem or ease the pain. And, as we all know, sensitiveness can always lead to nervous, maybe under intense circumstances, the staff would mass up the problems. What is more, what the patients focus on is the technique and experience of the dentists and the nurse, if the staff are only sensitive but lack of technique and experience, I think the clinic or the hospital will not be able to cure patients, finally mass up the problems.

To conclude, in this statement, the author illogically set the causation between faint and distress, and the statistics is quite unclear, especially the data of backgrounds. And to advertise, it is important to consider a lot of elements, or it may lead to a waste of money. Finally, the author recommend an inadvisable idea which is really lack of logic.