issue94 （米国有米组）bailamo27第一次作业２

bailamo27UID: 2191717

Issue94(2006-11-15)
        "Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study because acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated."  
(大学应该要求学生学习本专业以外的课程，因为让学生们了解不同学科的知识才是教育的最佳方式。)  
Position:  Does acquiring various knowledge of different academic disciplines mean the best education? Obviously, the answer is no.
Syllabus:
1.It is true that every academic field have intersects and penetrate each other, the emergence of many brim subjects and intersubjects gave us a persuasive evidence. To learn knowledge of diverse disciplines can shape a person to  take a all-round view of think. (think from different dimensions).
eg: History, philosophy, sociology make people to discard bias(prejudice) and fatuous, to think critically and comprehensively. Physics and mathematics can culture abstract and logical thinking. Art and music give us the ability to discover and appreciate beauties in life. All these abilities that we have to acquire in our life, so that we could handle problems freely and skillfully.
2.While learning one's own discipline, to know some knowledge of other subjects can open his academic view which may help to progress his study.
3.But to learn lots of superficial konwledge is better than to master in one field? Surly, no. Some students want to become specialists(experts) in one field,  i don't think there's enough time for them to learn various disciplines in limited time.
4.Does every university have the ability to provide students lots of disciplines in different fields?
Summay: University should set various subjects according to its own capability and students' requisition. Students can register what they want to learn and what they take interested in.  To learn their own field well, meanwhile, try their best to acquire knowledge in other field will be a compromise propose.
(2006-11-16)
Full text: (414 words)
Does acquiring various knowledge of different academic disciplines mean the best education? Obviously, the answer is no. The speaker just make a one-handed conclusion that it's a best way of education by acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines.

To begin with, it is true that every academic field have intersects and penetrate each other, the emergence of many brim subjects and intersubjects gave us a persuasive evidence. To learn knowledge of diverse disciplines can culture a person to form sorts of abilities and take a all-roun view of think. For example, History, philosophy and sociology make people to discard bias and fatuous, to think critiacally and comprehensively. Physics and mathematics can culture abstract and logical thinking, which can help person to make a right dicision. Art and music give us the ability to discover and apprciate beauties in life. All these abilities that we have to acquire in our life, in order to handle problems freely and skillfully. Just learn something about one's field, is undoubtably not enough. It will limite one's way of thinking, which may not good for his study, even hinder it. While learning one's own discipline, to knwo some knowledge of other subjects can open his academic view which may help to progress his study. For instance, an ecnomist may not have a great breakthrough without bringing in mathematics knwoledge, and if he doesn't know anything about the rule of development of society, he mayn't success in his study. Many winners of Nobel Ecnomic Prize once have backgroud of mathematics or philosophy, etc. So it's very important for people to learn some knowledge about other fields.

Secondly,  is it better to learn lots of superficial knowledge than to master in one field? Surly, no. Some students want to become experts in one field in future, i don't think there's enough time for them to spend so much time on various disciplines in limited time.

Finally, does every university have the ability to provide students lots of discipline in different fields? Many universities may have financial problem, or becasue of the lackness of  teachers' abilities and so on, that prevent them to serve students with lots of different subjects.

In my opinion, universities should set various subjects according to its own capability and students' requisition. Students can register what they want to learn and what they take interested in. To learn their own field well, meanwhile, try their best to acquire knowledge in other field will be a compromise propose (proposal).

整体感觉这篇写得不好，感觉没什么可说的，请大家多提提意见！谢谢！

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

orz...提纲字数跟正文差不多...立场是多学不一定好正文字数最多的部分却是在论证应该多学...
个人认为第一段用来让步太可惜了, 而且楼主莫非是因为限时才没有展开后面几段的?
建议先别限时, 习惯以后速度自然就上去了, 另外第一段内容太多了, 对自己的论点削弱很严重..
总之文章象个半成品, 完善下再拿来给大家改吧...

bailamo27UID: 2191717

恩，谢谢批评！我会抽时间改改的！谢谢！！！

aefiterUID: 2134740

Does acquiring various knowledge of different academic disciplines mean the best education? Obviously, the answer is no. The speaker just make a one-handed one-sided conclusion that it's a best way of education by acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines.这里的第二句话重复了第一句话，最好改成对自己观点的概括。

To begin with, it is true that every academic field have intersects intersections and penetrate into each other, the emergence of many brim brim是名词，换成cutting-edge好一些 subjects and intersubjects gave give us a persuasive evidence. To learn knowledge of diverse disciplines can culture a person to form sorts with many kinds of of abilities and to take aan all-round view of think不合适. For example, History, philosophy and sociology make people to discard bias and fatuous fatuousness, to think critiacally and comprehensively. Physics and mathematics can culture abstract and logical thinking, which can help person to make a right dicision. Art and music give us the ability to discover and apprciate beauties in life. All these abilities that we have to acquire in our life, in order to handle problems freely and skillfully.少谓语 Just to learn something about one's field, is undoubtably not enough. It will limite one's way scope of thinking, which may not be good for his study, oreven hinder it. While learning one's own discipline,while 表示尽管，连词，引导一个完整的从句 to knwo some knowledge of other subjects can open hisone‘s academic view which may help to progress his study. For instance, an ecnomist may not have a great breakthrough without bringing可以写得具体些，acquiring some fundmentals in mathematics knwoledge删除, and if he doesn't know anything about the rule of development of society, he mayn't success in his study. Many winners of Nobel Ecnomic Prize once have backgroud of mathematics or philosophy, etc. So it's very important for people to learn some knowledge about other fields.感觉，may用得太多了，有些情况要表达的坚定。这一段的例子还是很有说服力的，不过，文章的重点在反驳，这一段写得过多了，而后面论证的显然力度不够


Secondly,  is it better to learn lots of superficial 贬义词， some entry-level knowledge than to master master what? in one field? Surly, no.太随意了 Some students want to become experts in one field in thefuture, i don't think there's enough time for them to spend so much time on various disciplines in limited time. 这一段明显没有深入论证，lz是限时完成所以没有时间么

Finally, does every university have the ability to provide students lots of discipline in different fields? Many universities may have financial problem, or becasue of the lackness of  teachers' abilities and so on, that prevent them to serve students with lots of different subjects.

In my opinion, universities should set various subjects according to its own capability and students' requisition. Students can register what they want to learn and what they take interested in. To learn their own field well, meanwhile, try their best to acquire knowledge in other field will be a compromise propose (proposal).

刚开始练习的话，应该尽量让文章完整，但是文章后半部分没有展开。思路还不错，例子也恰到好处。但重心把握得不好。不过这些问题稍加注意就可以克服了。

bailamo27UID: 2191717

恩，我自己又看了一遍自己写的文章，的确完成得太草率，没有质量，感谢lastangel 和aefiter 的指点，我再好好改改！