Argument142 （12月作文高强组——好好学习，天天作文）

一月一号UID: 2148376

TOPIC: ARGUMENT142 - The article entitled 'Eating Iron' in last month's issue of Eating for Health reported that a recent study found a correlation between high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease. Further, it is well established that there is a link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease, and red meat is high in iron. On the basis of the study and the well-established link between red meat and heart disease, we can conclude that the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease, then, is most probably a function of the correlation between red meat and heart disease.
WORDS: 394          TIME: 0:40:00          DATE: 2006-12-5

In the argument above, the arguer arbitrarily concludes that the function of the correlation between high iron and cardinal disease is the same as that between red meat and heart disease. To justify his assertion, the arguer cites a recent study and "the common sense" of the correlation of heart disease and red meat. However, after a careful scrutiny, we would find that how groundless this conclusion is.

Firstly, the study that shows the high level of iron has relation with the increased risk of heart disease is incredible. We can not obtain any information about the sample of the study. We do not know how many people take part in the study and their illness history and age. It is likely that the a large proportion of the study takers already have heart disease  before and thus the risk of heart disease in them is higher. Besides, the author fails to provide the statistics that how much correlation between the high iron and heart disease and what kinds of food they are eating. As we know, iron exists variously in different kinds of food, like being compound with other elements. Without providing any information about these, we can not rule out the possibility that some iron compounds would not be assimilated by human beings. As a result, the conclusion that a correlation is between high level of iron in the diet and heart disease is not so convincing.

Besides, the correlation between red meat and heart disease is not well-established as the author proposes. There is not any study or research result in the argument as evidence. Even there is certain correlation between them; we do not know what coloration is. Thus, without scientific research results, the author cannot convince us just by his assumption of common sense.

The most fallacious flaw is that, even if the correlation the between high level of iron and heart disease and that between red meat and heart disease is established as the arguer assumes, the high iron in red meat cannot be tantamount to the functions of two correlations are most similar. As we know, not only the level of iron is high in red meat, the levels of cholesterol and protein are also high in red meat. There is also possible that the high levels of cholesterin and protein are the main reason for the heart disease. Thus, we cannot arbitrarily conclude that the function of high level of iron and red meat is the similar.

In sum, this argument is groundless and unconvincing. The study is incredible and the correlation between red meat and heart disease is groundless. Besides these, the most important problem is that the arguer arbitrarily conclusion the similar function from the same results. If the author can provide more information about the study and what concrete correlation these two factors with heart disease, his argument would be more convincible than before.

小飞呀UID: 2135290

TOPIC: ARGUMENT142 - The article entitled 'Eating Iron' in last month's issue of Eating for Health reported that a recent study found a correlation between high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease. Further, it is well established that there is a link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease, and red meat is high in iron. On the basis of the study and the well-established link between red meat and heart disease, we can conclude that the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease, then, is most probably a function of the correlation between red meat and heart disease.WORDS: 394          TIME: 0:40:00          DATE: 2006-12-5In the argument above, the arguer arbitrarily concludes that the function of the correlation between high iron and cardinal disease is the same as that between red meat and heart disease. To justify his assertion, the arguer cites a recent study and "the common sense" of the correlation of heart disease and red meat. However, after a careful scrutiny, we would find that how groundless this conclusion is.开头不错,简单明了Firstly, the study that shows the high level of iron has relation with the increased risk of heart disease is incredible. We can not obtain any information about the sample of the study. We do not know how many people take part in the study and their illness history and age. It is likely that the a large proportion of the study takers already have heart disease  before and thus the risk of heart disease in them is higher. Besides, the author fails to provide the statistics that how much correlation(how much？不懂) between the high iron and heart disease and what kinds of food they（they 在这里指代什么？） are eating. As we know, iron exists variously in different kinds of food, like being compound(ed) with other elements. Without providing any information about these, we can not rule out the possibility that some iron compounds would not be assimilated by human beings. As a result, the conclusion that a correlation is between high level of iron in the diet and heart disease is not so convincing.Besides, the correlation between red meat and heart disease is not well-established as the author proposes. There is not any study or research result in the argument as evidence. Even there is certain correlation between them; we do not know what coloration? is. Thus, without scientific research results, the author cannot convince us just by his assumption of common sense.(这段话好少哦，我也觉得这篇只难写，晓得他不对，但是就是说理的时候没话说。)The most fallacious flaw is that, even if the correlation the between high level of iron and heart disease and that between red meat and heart disease is established as the arguer assumes, the high iron in red meat cannot be tantamount to the functions of two correlations are most similar. As we know, not only the level of iron is high in red meat, the levels of cholesterol and protein are also high in red meat. There is also possible that the high levels of cholesterin and protein are the main reason for the heart disease. Thus, we cannot arbitrarily conclude that the function of high level of iron and red meat is the similar.In sum, this argument is groundless and unconvincing. The study is incredible and the correlation between red meat and heart disease is groundless. Besides these, the most important problem is that the arguer arbitrarily conclusion the similar function from the same results. If the author can provide more information about the study and what concrete correlation these two factors with heart disease, his argument would be more convincible than before.

基本的错误都找到了，就是说理的内容太少了。

ＰＳ：注意句子的写法，有些时候思维太中国了．

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