issue51 【csmy作文互改小组】第二次作业

yiran27UID: 2201423

Issue51
"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."只有针对每个学生的需要和兴趣，教育才真正的有效率的
Word：556   Time:1:05
提纲：
1、  满足个人需要和兴趣的教育能够最大程度的激发学生的潜能。
2、  现实资源的有限无法做到也没必要做到满足每个学生的兴趣和需要。
3、  教育的主要功能是教育基本知识基本技能，个人的特殊要求可以通过其他方式满足。

Education which determines the future of a country plays a vital role in the society life. How to make the education effectively and meet the need of the students is a problem calls for carefully concern. In my view, although meeting the individual needs and interests can inspire one's potential, it is impractical for the society to design education as private service.

A variety of studies of education and psychology studies indicate that meeting the needs and interest s of individual will motivate studentbest.As an old saying goes: “interest is the best teacher.” The needs and interests can make a student look studying as a game and enjoying the process, even he has to spend a lot of time sitting motionlessly and do somewhat repeated work such as scanning, memorizing and so on. It is general that when a student studies what he is interested, he can easily forget time, hunger， thirsty or other things, being lost in his own world, to effectively learn related knowledge. The result is that he masters more knowledge than his peers who is not interested in the same topic at the same time. On the other hand, cramming up the student will only resist him from studying on his initiative, especially when they are in adolescence.

It is ideal that everyone have best suitable education to meet their needs and interests, however, in a real society, because of limited education resources, there is no necessity and possibility to educate students person by person. First, whether the students like or not, some foundational knowledge like survival skills, moral standards, laws is needed to every student, so that such education should not care the willing of the students. For the great importance of the knowledge, every student should learn them by heart so that they can share the environment with others peacefully. Whether they think the knowledge is needed or interested to them is not important then. Second, it is impossible to meet each student interests and needs for the limited resources. The ratio between student and teacher is at most 20:1 at USA, which means that a teacher will give 20 students whatever they need. It is obviously beyond the capability of the teacher. In other words, teachers can only meet some basic needs and interests of the students.

Therefore, the responsibility of the education can be and only can be teaching the basic knowledge and skills of the students, and encouraging the students to develop their interests and private needs by themselves, and providing some help in their ability. So many methods wait to be discovered by students themselves besides school education. E-learning, a learning method based on the internet and computer, is designed to meet personal needs, involving a variety of domains from which the learner can choose what they like. As that case, we can not depend on the education so much, our needs and interests can be satisfied apart from formal education.

In sum, education system is trying their best to be more humanity and practical, but it is still a fiction that one day education can meet every one's interests and needs. Nevertheless, we have a number of supplemented means, with which we can still satisfied to some extent.

candyganUID: 201665

Education which determines the future of a country plays a vital role in the society life. How to make the education effectively and meet the need of the students is a problem calls for carefully concern. In my view, although meeting the individual needs and interests can inspire one's potential, it is impractical for the society to design education as private service.
A variety of studies of education and psychology studies 读上去不是很顺。 indicate that meeting the needs and interest s of individual will motivate student best. As an old saying goes: “interest is the best teacher.” The , the needs and interests can make a student look studying as a game and enjoying the process, even he or she has to spend a lot of time sitting motionlessly and do somewhat repeated work such as scanning, memorizing and so on. 这句话的表达太中文化了。 It is general that 没有这种表达方式 when a student studies what he is interested, he can easily forget time, hunger, thirsty or other things, being lost in his own world to effectively learn related knowledge. When we study on what we are interested in, The result is that he masters more knowledge than his peers who is not interested in the same topic at the same time. On the other hand, cramming up the student will only resist him from studying on his initiative, especially when they are in adolescence.如果第一句是主题句的话，后面的扩展句对于第一句论证得不是很好。下面都没有说到任何关于教育和心理研究的情况，只有日常经验。
It is ideal that everyone have best suitable education 换成receives specially designed education会不会更好些？ to meet their needs and interests, however, in a real society, in reality, because of limited education resources 换成due to the limit of education resources会不会更好些？, there is no necessity and possibility to educate students person by person没有这种说法. First, whether the students like or not, some foundational knowledge like survival skills, moral standards, laws is needed to every student, so that such education should not care the willing of the students. For the great importance of the knowledge, every student should learn them by heart so that they can share the environment with others peacefully. Whether they think the knowledge is needed or interested to them is not important then. Second, it is impossible to meet each student interests and needs for the limited resources. The ratio between student and teacher is at most 20:1 at USA, which means that a teacher will give 20 students whatever they need. a good example！ It is obviously beyond the capability of the teacher. In other words, teachers can only meet some basic needs and interests of the students.
Therefore, the responsibility of the school education can be and only can be teaching the basic knowledge and skills of for the students, and encouraging the students to develop their interests and private needs by themselves, and providing some help in their ability.  So many methods wait to be discovered by students themselves besides school education. E-learning, a learning method based on the internet and computer, is designed to meet personal needs, involving a variety of domains from which the learner can choose what they like. As that case, we can not depend on the education so much, our needs and interests can be satisfied apart from formal education.
In sum, education system is trying their best to be more humanity and practical, but it is still a fiction that one day education can meet every one's interests and needs. Nevertheless, we have a number of supplemented means, with which we can still satisfied to some extent. 结尾很好。但是与开头是不是呼应不够？
总结：
1、 标点符号常常出错，很不应该哦。
2、 要注意多收集句子和表达方式。有些太中文化了：比如：一般“他”在中文中可泛指人，但是英语中he只指男性。
“许多作家避免出现这种相关结构以回避问题。他们不写Every student handed in his assignment, 而写All the students handed in their assignments，不写A taxpayer must appear for his hearing in person，而写Taxpayers must appear for their hearings in person 。”
3、 注意论证段内部的逻辑条理性。
4、 另外，在这个题目里，个人觉得对于教育的定义要好好界定，这篇立论文才好写。不知你觉得怎样？
这些是我的一些建议，欢迎回帖探讨！

yiran27UID: 2201423

标点可能因为word没有检查出来,我就忽视了.
对于he的用法，主要是我们老师原来说过可以就用he，如果是经考证需要用he or she以后会注意的。
对于论证的逻辑性，可能因为看得文章不多，所以还无法形成有条理的逻辑
最后，关于教育的界定，我不是很清楚写issue关于一个具体的问题的界定是根据自己的呢，还是需要官方的呢，
这个问题，我们可以继续探讨一下，
关于用法的问题，
可能因为我最近实在是太忙了，可能短时间没办法提高。等我期末考试完了一定加强这方面的准备。
最后，谢谢candy给我这么多建议~！：）

candyganUID: 201665

看过ETS给的GRE的官方资料，我理解的对于重要的具体问题的界定是由考试者本身决定的，你界定好后，根据自己的界定写出issue，只要能使人信服就OK。