Issue51 【CSMY作文互改小组】第二次作业

candyganUID: 201665

这是我的第二篇issue，欢迎大家拍砖！
TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 437          TIME: 1:40:06          DATE: 2007-01-03
提纲：

论点：教育不仅仅只在学生个人兴趣和需要得到满足时才是最有效的，只有教育的目标达到时才能这么说

作为一个孩子，当需求和兴趣被满足时，教育会有效。
然而，使每个学生都获得特殊设计的满足个体需要和兴趣的教育在现实中是不可能的。
更加重要的是，不仅仅是满足个体需要和兴趣就会使得教育更有效，其他很多因素也应该要重视。
因此，要使得教育真正有效，很多因素都应该要考虑进来。

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

Article：
Education, of which the goal is for a child preparing for his or her adult life, is very important noticed on the needs and interests of child. However, education will be truly effective not merely when it is specifically designed to meet the child's needs and interests; it should be evaluated as effectiveness just the goal of education is attained.

As a child, when his or her individual needs and interests has been met by specially designed education, it is obviously that the education will be much effective. Helen Keller, a famous writer and one of greatest people in 20th century, is a good illustration for this point. Helen got deaf and blind after a disease when she was 19 months old. Yet there was a huge between she and the outer world, she is still interested in and needed to get communication to the outer world. Later in her life, the teacher -- Ms. Sullivan -- came and understood her needs and interests, taught her in a specifically designed way. The outcome is that Helen learned the basic skills of communication and be cultivated well of her characters, and at last she became a person who not merely get her life satisfied but even give a light to others' life. Only Helen's individual needs and interests have been meet by Ms. Sullivian that the education of Helen is truly effective.  

However, considering the realistic sphere and wholly resources, for each child, it is difficult to get a specifically designed education justly meet their needs and interests. On the one hand, there are hardly sufficient teachers for the specifically designed education for each child. On the other hand, even the number of teachers is not the bottleneck of this problem, the level of teachers is hardly high enough. Not every teacher can do their job as Ms. Sullivan did.     

What is more, for an effective education, not only meeting the needs and interests can merely lead to, but also other factors should be emphasis on. Such as moral, ethnics and other things also play significant roles in education. As the illustration of Helen Keller, not just her needs and interests have been considered by her teacher, love, happiness and other important things have been taught by her teacher. Thus for an effective education, meeting the needs and interests is not the mere cause.   

Therefore, to get a truly effective education -- which means attain the goal of education effectively -- not only the individual needs and interests of children should be considered, but also a broader set of things (morality, ethics, personality and so on) should be noticed.


！

staroceanUID: 2271193

Article：
Education, of which the goal is for a child preparing for his or her adult life, is very important noticed on the needs and interests of child. However, education will be truly effective not merely when it is specifically designed to meet the child's needs and interests; it should be evaluated as effectiveness(effecive) （as）just the goal of education is attained.

As a child, when his or her individual needs and interests has been met by specially designed education, it is obviously that the education will be much (more)effective. Helen Keller, a famous writer and one of greatest people in 20th century, is a good illustration for this point. Helen got deaf and blind after a disease when she was 19 months old. Yet there was a huge between she and the outer world, she is still interested in and needed to get communication to the outer world. Later in her life, the teacher -- Ms. Sullivan -- came and understood her needs and interests, taught her in a specifically designed way. The outcome is that Helen learned the basic skills of communication and be cultivated well of her characters, and at last she became a person who not merely get her life satisfied but even give a light to others' life. Only Helen's individual needs and interests have been meet by Ms. Sullivian that the education of Helen is truly effective.  （只用一个人的例子说明不了问题，而且没有对比，应该加上没有满足兴趣需要就不行）

However, considering the realistic sphere and wholly resources, for each child, it is difficult to get a specifically designed education justly meet their （each one's）needs and interests. On the one hand, there are hardly sufficient teachers for the specifically designed education for each child. On the other hand, even the number of teachers is not the bottleneck of this problem, the level of teachers is hardly high enough. Not every teacher can do their job as Ms. Sullivan did.     

What is more, for an effective education, not only meeting the needs and interests can merely lead to, but also other factors should be emphasis on. Such as moral, ethnics and other things also play significant roles in education. As the illustration of Helen Keller, not just her needs and interests have been considered by her teacher, love, happiness and other important things have been taught by her teacher. Thus for an effective education, meeting the needs and interests is not the mere cause.   

Therefore, to get a truly effective education -- which means attain the goal of education effectively -- not only the individual needs and interests of children should be considered, but also a broader set of things (morality, ethics, personality and so on) should be noticed.

每段都没展开，不要限时
没改完，一会接着改

[ 本帖最后由 starocean 于 2007-1-11 23:36 编辑 ]

candyganUID: 201665

经过你的指点我也认识到自己写的东西在每段段内都论证的不够充分，接下来的写作中我会好好注意的！