Issue5 【CSMY作文互改小组】第三次作业--不知道有什么例子

solohanUID: 2279589

TOPIC: ISSUE5 - "A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."
WORDS: 504          TIME: 0:37:35          DATE: 2007-1-6

Point：平衡观点。
a. national curriculum 给学校带来的好处
b. 给学生带来的好处
c. 对国家来说的意义
d. 但是只有national curriculum是不够的，需要针对各个学校的具体情况适当增加课程
e. 过分死板地遵守national curriculum 不利于学生的发展

The speaker presents a controversial issue on uniform education or various education. From my point of view, both have merits, with the former as the fundamental knowledge and the later as special supply correspondent to the particular demand.
From the nationwide points, a uniform curriculum can help to establish a united education system, which is comprised by thousands of schools from different parts of the nation. They share the same basic goals of school education, and distribute the same materials for teaching. There must be a center of the nation which is made of a group of professional educators to decide which curriculums to be installed and which principles to be followed. Under the same evaluation standard, the education quality could be compared among these schools, thus let the schools find their advantages and disadvantages in order to improve themselves. Those schools weak in teachers or experts could design their teaching more scientifically, while those superior schools would not put much burden on the students.

Besides benefiting the school itself, the students would get the professional direction, whether they are in rural or urban schools. They also have equal opportunities to enter the colleges because their performance could be assessed under the same criteria. Additionally, they would not miss important knowledge, which may not be considered by the school itself.

For the nation itself, uniform curriculum will make the culture more united. The students in the nation would be cultivated by the united values and beliefs, at least basically. Therefore, the conflict may be reduced in some extent. With the same national curriculums, the nation would construct an integrated public education system, which can promote the civil cultural quality.

However, the arrangement of national curriculum is not enough when it comes to every school. Since different schools have different conditions and background, they need additional curriculum to satisfy their students. For instance, a school in the village would like to add some courses on farming; a school in a town where criminal ratio is high prefers to teach self-protection skills and lawful knowledge. Moreover, some school should not lose their excellent traditions, like boating classes, anthropology courses just because the national curriculums have not included them. It is the special and interesting courses which derive from the school's history that make the school different and attractive.

Because the national curriculum would be arranged from the general desire and average level, the students who have particular talents or interests could not be satisfied under the unified system. If the school is stubborn to obey the national framework, it would lose the initiation to decide the courses according to their students' demand. In that way, the national education may hinder the creativity and diversity of the children.

Obviously, the promising way is to combine the national curriculum and special courses in every school. The former is taken as a fundamental guideline to guarantee the basic knowledge the students could learn; it is flexible. The latter is a compensation to satisfy the schools' and the student's need; it dependents on the situation. The two parts can join together to educate the students to be persons with special skills as well as general knowledge.  

ctexUID: 2241178

The speaker presents a controversial issue on uniform education or various education【很简单的就把题目观点总结了，不错】.From my point of view, both have merits, with the former as the fundamental knowledge and the later as special supply correspondent to the particular demand.【quite concise】

From the nationwide points【point】, a uniform curriculum can help to establish a united education system, which is comprised by thousands of schools from different parts of the nation. They【These schools是否指代更清楚些？】 share the same basic goals of school education, and distribute the same materials for teaching. There must be a center of the nation which is made of a group of professional educators to decide which curriculums to be installed【instilled】 and which principles to be followed. Under the same evaluation standard, the education【educational or the quality of education】 quality could be compared among these schools, thus let the schools find their advantages and disadvantages in order to improve themselves【可以这么说吗？】. Those schools weak in teachers or experts could design their teaching more scientifically, while those superior schools【ones】 would not put much burden on the students.【这样对比好吗？感觉还是别扭 呵呵~~ Those schools lacking of excellent teaches  who are good at teaching could pay much attention to attracting those teachers;  while those ones shortage of good students should  endeavor to attract scholarly talents】总之感觉这句扯得比较远了。和主题木关系的。
Besides benefiting the school itself【这个衔接上段不太好吧，上段主要讲的是help to establish a education system】, the students would get the professional direction, whether they are in rural or urban schools. They also have equal opportunities to enter the【the去掉】 colleges because their performance could be assessed 【in a fair way】under the same criteria. Additionally, they would not miss important knowledge, which may not be considered by the school itself. 这句what does the author tend to convey?

For the nation itself, uniform curriculum will make the culture more united. The students in the nation would be cultivated by the united values and beliefs, at least basically. Therefore, the conflict may be reduced in some extent. With the same national curriculums, the nation would construct an integrated public education system, which can promote the civil cultural quality.【这一段放上面感觉要好些】

However, the arrangement of national curriculum is not 【appropriate】enough when it comes to every【each】 school. Since different schools have different conditions and background, they need additional curriculum to satisfy their students. For instance, a school in the village would like to add some courses on farming; a school in a town where criminal ratio is high prefers to teach self-protection skills and lawful knowledge. Moreover, some school should not lose their excellent traditions, like boating classes, anthropology courses just because the national curriculums have not included them. It is the special and interesting courses which derive from the school's history that make the school different and attractive.【初步说明the importance of freedom 】

Because the national curriculum would be arranged from the general desire and average level, the students who have particular talents or interests could not be satisfied under the unified system. If the school is stubborn to obey the national framework, it would lose the initiation to decide the courses according to their students' demand. In that way, the national education may hinder the creativity and diversity of the children.【author 想通过uniform curriculums’ shortages 来反正 the freedom’s importance，稍微有点单薄】

Obviously, the promising way is to combine the national curriculum and special courses in every school. The former is taken as a fundamental guideline to guarantee the basic knowledge the students could learn; it is flexible. The latter is a compensation to satisfy the schools' and the student's need; it dependents on the situation. The two parts can join together to educate the students to be persons with special skills as well as general knowledge.  【结尾值得学习】

Author的功底很好，观点insightful 论证还是很strong，句式多变。努力向lz学习  



[ 本帖最后由 ctex 于 2007-1-12 18:27 编辑 ]

stevenhuUID: 172722

The speaker presents a controversial issue on uniform education or various education. From my point of view, both have merits, with the former as the fundamental knowledge and the later as special supply correspondent to the particular demand.From the nationwide points, a uniform curriculum can help to establish a united education system, which is comprised by thousands of schools from different parts of the nation. They share the same basic goals of school education, and distribute the same materials for teaching. There must be a center of the nation which is made of a group of professional educators to decide which curriculums to be installed and which principles to be followed. Under the same evaluation standard, the education quality could be compared among these schools, thus let the schools find their advantages and disadvantages in order to improve themselves. Those schools weak in teachers or experts could design their teaching more scientifically, while those superior schools would not put much burden on the students.Besides benefiting the school itself, the students would get the professional direction, whether they are in rural or urban schools. They also have equal opportunities to enter the colleges because their performance could be assessed under the same criteria. Additionally, they would not miss important knowledge, which may not be considered by the school itself. For the nation itself, uniform curriculum will make the culture more united. The students in the nation would be cultivated by the united values and beliefs, at least basically. Therefore, the conflict may be reduced in [to] some extent. With the same national curriculums, the nation would construct an integrated public education system, which can promote the civil cultural quality.However, the arrangement of national curriculum is not enough when it comes to every school. Since different schools have different conditions and background, they need additional curriculum to satisfy their students. For instance, a school in the village would like to add some courses on farming; a school in a town where criminal ratio is high prefers to teach self-protection skills and lawful knowledge. Moreover, some school should not lose their excellent traditions, like boating classes, anthropology courses just because the national curriculums have not included them. It is the special and interesting courses which derive from the school's history that make the school different and attractive.Because the national curriculum would be arranged from the general desire and average level, the students who have particular talents or interests could not be satisfied under the unified system. If the school is stubborn to obey the national framework, it would lose the initiation to decide the courses according to their students' demand. In that way, the national education may hinder the creativity and diversity of the children.Obviously, the promising way is to combine the national curriculum and special courses in every school. The former is taken as a fundamental guideline to guarantee the basic knowledge the students could learn; it is flexible. The latter is a compensation to satisfy the schools' and the student's need; it dependents on the situation. The two parts can join together to educate the students to be persons with special skills as well as general knowledge.

楼主还谦虚说没有例子，其实感觉楼主已经写的很好了，基本没什么可改的，这篇要好好学习，羡慕ing

[ 本帖最后由 stevenhu 于 2007-1-12 22:37 编辑 ]

solohanUID: 2279589

Those schools weak in teachers or experts could design their teaching more scientifically, while those superior schools【ones】 would not put much burden on the students 这句是想说明uniform课程的好处，避免实力不同的学校之间的差距。差的学校可以从中得到指导，强的学校避免go too far
【author 想通过uniform curriculums’ shortages 来反正 the freedom’s importance，稍微有点单薄】我也觉得，说得很简单。但是又不知道怎么来充实呢
【这一段放上面感觉要好些】如果把这三段合成一段，会不会更好一点，现在这样每段都很短，而且前后衔接不够。