Issue48 【微观状态】 第四次作业 求拍啦！

为了忘却的纪念UID: 2263082

Issue48
"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."

I tend to agree with the speaker that a great deal of emphasis has been put on individuals during the study of history, and the groups of people, hardly been mentioned and almost have been forgotten most of the time, could not be neglected as an important power that has pushed history ahead along the civilization of human beings. Nevertheless, the crucial role that the famous few have taken among most significant events and trends should not be denied too.

First of all, among all the important movements or events that significantly changes the world and be remarked by the afterworld, the history should not be just a list of the names of brilliant few. Without the endeavor from the multitude, one could not imagine the happening, no mentioning the success. One may have been climbed onto Great Wall and be amazed by its greatness and majesty. The building of Great Wall, which is a martial strategy to defend the boundary in Qin Dynasty, and showed to be effective in the following two thousands years, actually cost three hundreds thousands people decades of years to finish. History remembers this masterwork together with the name of Emperor Chin Shihhuang, who is the initiator of this work, but all the others, who have taken incomputable stones by their won shoulders along the mountains and witnessed the Great Wall to be buildup from one mile to tens of thousands kilometers, not even be recorded by one single name. Indisputably, the builders, though as a group been forgotten by the names by history, could not be overlooked on their contributions.

However, though the importance of the groups of people has been admitted, one could not deny the equally vital role of few individuals. Although owned great power, the mass people, at many times, do not have the right direction to work on by themselves. Considering how powerful their force might be, it will be a disaster if be misleaded or lose control. The few individuals, who always show their wisdom and bravery during critical time, not only give out the direction that multitude work on, but also show them the better way to do. Mohandas Karamcand Gandhi, who was respected as the Mahatma of India, leaded the Satyagraha activity in India after World War One, which adopting disobedience, no cooperation and fast as the way to pursue the independence of India from Great British, instead of using violence. This method successful drew the attention of British, showed their decision to be independent, while to the maximum extent, protected the behalf of India people. History should recognize those individuals, without them, the history may already be rewritten.

Furthermore, while the conception that the few individuals, together with the groups of people, created the glorious history should be accepted widely, the situation that much emphasis has been put on few individuals should be understood. First, it is much easier, for the historians, to get the information of the famous individuals from the history record, since as a main participant, most of the records passed down through generations were regarding them or written by them; Secondly, at last these great few were come from the groups of people and could to some extent represent the people at that specific period of history life, by studying them, historian could get a rough understanding and also, it is not possible and no meaning to learn each one attendance of one certain event.

To sum up, both the few individuals and the groups of people constitute our history. Just like the capital and sailor in a boat, those two together push the history ahead along the river of human civilization. Though only the names of the few individuals been remembered by history, we have the reason to believe that it is the great spirit, the spirit of striving, the spirit of never give up, that will be remembered by the history, for ever.

aunknownUID: 2173661

Issue48
"The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
I tend to agree with the speaker that a great deal of emphasis has been put on individuals during the study of history, and the groups of people, hardly been mentioned and almost have been forgotten most of the time, could not be neglected as an important power that has pushed history ahead along the civilization of human beings. Nevertheless, the crucial role that the famous few have taken among most significant events and trends should not be denied too.
First of all, among all the important movements or events that significantly changes the world and be remarked by the afterworld, the history should not be just a list of the names of brilliant few. Without the endeavor from the multitude, one could not imagine the happening, no mentioning the success. One may have been climbed onto Great Wall and be amazed by its greatness and majesty. The building of Great Wall, which is a martial strategy to defend the boundary in Qin Dynasty, and showed to be effective in the following two thousands years, actually cost three hundreds thousands people decades of years to finish. History remembers this masterwork together with the name of Emperor Chin Shihhuang, who is the initiator of this work, but all the others, who have taken incomputable stones by their won shoulders along the mountains and witnessed the Great Wall to be buildup from one mile to tens of thousands kilometers, not even be recorded by one single name. Indisputably, the builders, though as a group been forgotten by the names by history, could not be overlooked on their contributions.
这一段论证充分，很好！
However, though the importance of the groups of people has been admitted, one could not deny the equally vital role of few individuals. Although owned great power, the mass people, at many times, do not have the right direction to work on by themselves. Considering how powerful their force might be, it will be a disaster if they are  misleaded or lose control. The few individuals, who always show their wisdom and bravery during critical time, not only give out the direction that multitude work on, but also show them the better way to do. Mohandas Karamcand Gandhi, who was respected as the Mahatma of India, leaded the Satyagraha activity in India after World War One, which adopting disobedience, no cooperation and fast as the way to pursue the independence of India from Great British, instead of using violence. This method successful drew the attention of British, showed their decision to be independent, while to the maximum extent, protected the behalf of India people. History should recognize those individuals, without them, the history may already be rewritten.
这个例子是很好，不过你好象没有往你的主题上靠，我觉得甘地这个例子你只要点出来他带领人们取得了大的成就，然后就可以展开你的分析，他怎么重要，没有他会怎么样，反正就是往主题上靠

Furthermore, while the conception that the few individuals, together with the groups of people, created the glorious history should be accepted widely, the situation that much emphasis has been put on few individuals should 不太客观，换成may or canbe understood. First, it is much easier, for the historians, to get the information of the famous individuals from the history record, since as a main participant, most of the records passed down through generations were regarding them or written by them; Secondly, at last these great few were 山去 come from the groups of people and could to some extent represent the people at that specific period of history life, by studying them, historian could get a rough understanding and also, it is not possible and no meaning to learn each one attendance of one certain event. 这句话太长了吧，感觉有点不太通
To sum up, both the few individuals and the groups of people constitute our history. Just like the capital and sailor in a boat, 很贴切 ： those two together push the history ahead along the river of human civilization. Though only the names of the few individuals been remembered by history, we have the reason to believe that it is the great spirit, the spirit of striving, the spirit of never give up, that will be remembered by the history, for ever.

1。总体感觉论证的不错，三个点说的比较清楚，例子也很好，并且你记的好详细呀！如果对例子能在多一些分析就更好了。
2．楼主造长句的能力真让我望其项背呀，景仰之！美中不足的是我觉得你的长句有点太多了，给人有点晦涩的感觉，可以长短结合的来。
3．词汇量也非常大，用的也基本贴切。景仰之！
4．另外，我觉得大家的这一篇的论点都一样呀，会不会雷同呀！