Argument2 【CSMY作文互改小组】第四次作业

ctexUID: 2241178

Argument 2

The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven

Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions

on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes

should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to

raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on

landscaping and housepainting."

Date 01-11  Time:50mins  536words

In this letter a committee of Deerhaven Acres homeowners recommends that Deerhaven residents should take some course of action concerning their homes' exterior appearance in order to boost the value of their property value. To bolster this recommendation the committee refers to that during the seven years since Brookville adopted similar restrictions on their homes' appearance real estate values have enjoyed a great increase. However, close scrutiny to his proof reveals that the recommendation relies on s series of unsubstantiated assumptions  , and therefore it is unpersuasive as it stands.

A threshold assumption upon which the recommendation rests on is that certain types of restrictions were enforced on their homes by Brookville homes owners in the first place. The author fails to provide proof that can substantiate the crucial assumption. If these measurements were not taken, then any change in Brookville's property values can not be attributed to them. Therefore, the committee can not put out the recommendation that some similar restrictions must be adopted by their residents only according to this unproven assumption.

Even considering the fact Brookville homeowners have implemented these restrictions, the committee can not attribute the rise of property value to these actions completely. After all, it is entirely possible that there may have been a dramatic change  n this seven years. For   example, perhaps the economy have an experience of inflation during this time frame,and there is also  possibility that the demand for houses is increasing as the supply is constant even decreasing. The price of any commodity is the function about the relationship of demand and supply.  Either scenario can give rise to the increase of property value. The author does not rule out the two possible alternative causes.

Even admitting that the implementation of these restrictions is responsible for the increased property values, the committee fails to afford any differences between Brookville and Deerhaven that might lead a thoroughly distinct result to Deerhaven on the property . For instance, Brookville locates in a good place that is more likely to attract the influx of outsiders. So  the influx of strangers will bring about a new demand for houses. Meanwhile, these immigrants also paid   much attention on the exterior appearance of homes. While,  Deerhaven does not have this advantage in the aspect of location. Even Deerhaven can also attract some immigrants, it is entirely possible that they are not pay as much attention to the appearance of homes as Brookvilles' immigrants. Therefore, they are unwilling to pay more money for the exterior appearance. Failing to accounting for these and other possible disparities, the committee can not make an arbitrary recommendation that the enforcement of similar exterior policy must result in the increase of property value in Deerhaven.

Overall, the basis for the recommendation seems illogical as it presented in the argument, albeit the committee make such recommendation in the interest of its residents' property value. The committee makes an analogy with fateful flaws. To convincing me that Deerhaven residents should introduce these measurements the committee have to provide direct evidence----it is  the course of action about the homes' exterior taken by Brookville that was responsible for the evaluation of Brookville's property values. The committee has to supply evidence that other factors affecting home prices in the two areas are thoroughly in accord.



[ 本帖最后由 ctex 于 2007-1-12 12:35 编辑 ]

solohanUID: 2279589

In this letter a committee of Deerhaven Acres homeowners recommends that Deerhaven residents should take some course of action concerning their homes' exterior appearance in order to boost the value of their property value. To bolster this recommendation the committee refers to that during the seven years since Brookville adopted similar restrictions on their homes' appearance real estate values have enjoyed a great increase. However, close scrutiny to his proof reveals that the recommendation relies on s series of unsubstantiated assumptions  , and therefore it is unpersuasive as it stands. (很典型的北美式开头噢，个人是尽量避免的，因为偏长)

A threshold assumption upon which the recommendation rests on is that certain types of restrictions were enforced on their homes by Brookville homes owners in the first place. The author fails to provide proof that can substantiate the crucial assumption. If these measurements were not taken, then any change in Brookville's property values can not be attributed to them. Therefore, the committee can not put out the recommendation that some similar restrictions must be adopted by their residents only according to this unproven assumption.(会不会有点空洞，除了if这句，其他的都在概括地说不能证明。这也是我的疑问，是不是应当具体分析一下怎么不能证明呢，这个分析除了举出其他可能性，还应该怎么写呢)

Even considering the fact Brookville homeowners have implemented these restrictions, the committee can not attribute the rise of property value to these actions completely. After all, it is entirely possible that there may have been a dramatic change  n this seven years. For   example, perhaps the economy have an experience of inflation during this time frame (确定有time frame这个表达吗？我只见过period),and there is also  possibility that the demand for houses is increasing as the supply is constant(ly) even decreasing. The price of any commodity is the function about the relationship of demand and supply(要么把这句放在前一句之前，要么在两句之间加个连词，这样逻辑清楚一些).  Either scenario can give rise to the increase of property value. The author does not rule out the two possible alternative causes.(最后一句有点突兀。感觉lz应该加强一下transition)

Even admitting that the implementation of these restrictions is responsible for the increased property values, the committee fails to afford any differences between Brookville and Deerhaven that might lead a thoroughly distinct result to Deerhaven on the property (value) . For instance, Brookville locates in a good place that is more likely to attract the influx of outsiders. So  the influx of strangers will bring about a new demand for houses. Meanwhile, these immigrants also paid   much attention on the exterior appearance of homes. While,  Deerhaven does not have this advantage (these advantages) in the aspect of location. Even Deerhaven can also attract some immigrants, it is entirely possible that they are not pay as much attention to the appearance of homes as Brookvilles' immigrants. Therefore, they are unwilling to pay more money for the exterior appearance. Failing to accounting for these and other possible disparities, the committee can not make an arbitrary recommendation that the enforcement of similar exterior policy must result in the increase of property value in Deerhaven. (这段很精彩！学习ing)

Overall, the basis for the recommendation seems illogical as it presented in the argument, albeit the committee make such recommendation in the interest of its residents' property value. The committee makes an analogy with fateful flaws. To convincing me that Deerhaven residents should introduce these measurements the committee have to provide direct evidence----it is  the course of action about the homes' exterior taken by Brookville that was responsible for the evaluation of Brookville's property values. The committee has to supply evidence that other factors affecting home prices in the two areas are thoroughly in accord. (结尾也不错)

比我写得有条理多了！值得学习。
如果再注意一下攻击的重心，和句子的过渡就更perfect了