ARGUMENT53 米国有米第十次作业 请多多指正

cckantUID: 2247822

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 306          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-1-2

Sketch：
1．    没有供比较的控制组
2．    Hormone melatonin 水平在母体的提高足以影响婴儿害羞性格的证据缺失
3．    少年认为自己是害羞的不一定就等于他们是害羞的

In this argument, it is concluded that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. The argument is constituted according to a study of a group of 25 infants and the follow-up study while these infants became teenagers. However, there are several logical defects in this argument, causing it fails to constitute a sound argument in favor of the conclusion.

To begin with, in the research of the 25 infants and the follow-up research, there is no valid control group for comparison. Research to identify underlying reasons for a particular phenomenon needs a control group and a treated group so that the consequence of the focused difference can be identified. However, in the research of 25 infants who showed sign of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar sensitive impulses, there are no such control group, of which the infant should have no or slight distress in respond to the same impulses. Lacking this control group, one can not deduce that it is the hormone melatonin which causes shyness. It may be other reasons like genetic difference, rather than the hormone, which lead to the shyness.

Secondly, the evidence that levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness is missed. In this argument, there is no evidence provided suggests that the levels of melatonin in the mothers increased in autumn is significant enough to alter the shyness of the infants. Moreover, its mechanism to alter the shyness is unknown. It is no more than a conjecture that the hormone of melatonin affects the shyness of the infants.

Finally, teenagers in the follow-up research who identified themselves as shy are not necessarily shy. Teenagers identified themselves as shy must not actually be shy. Teenagers are at their ages experiencing rapid change physically and psychologically. This can induce their illusory acknowledgement of shyness. A more objective measure of their shyness is needed to determine their shyness for a scientific research.

In sum, due to the missing logical elements in this argument, without more evidence and prudent deduction, one should not conclude that the levels of melatonin affect the shyness of infants and has lasting impact.

aefiterUID: 2134740

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 306          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-1-2

Sketch：
1．    没有供比较的控制组
2．    Hormone melatonin 水平在母体的提高足以影响婴儿害羞性格的证据缺失
3．    少年认为自己是害羞的不一定就等于他们是害羞的

In this argument, it is concluded that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. The argument is constituted according to a study of a group of 25 infants and the follow-up study while these infants became teenagers. However, there are several logical defects in this argument, causing it fails to constitute a sound argument in favor of the conclusion.

To begin with, in the research of the 25 infants and the follow-up research, there is no valid control group for comparison. Research to identify underlying reasons for a particular phenomenon needs a control group and a treated group so that the consequence of the focused difference can be identified. However, in the research of 25 infants who showed sign of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar sensitive impulses, there are no such control group, of which the infant should have no or slight distress in respond to the same impulses. Lacking this control group, one can not deduce that it is the hormone melatonin which causes shyness. It may be other reasons like genetic difference, rather than the hormone, which lead to the shyness.

这个control group 很专业，不知是不是优点。按照argu的高分特点，把control group 的作用说得再详细。

Secondly, the evidence that levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness is missed. In this argument, there is no evidence provided suggests that the levels of melatonin in the mothers increased in autumn is significant enough to alter the shyness of the infants. Moreover, its mechanism to alter the shyness is unknown. It is no more than a conjecture that the hormone of melatonin affects the shyness of the infants.

这一段感觉像前提，是不是放在第一段说。

Finally, teenagers in the follow-up research who identified themselves as shy are not necessarily shy. Teenagers identified themselves as shy must not actually be shy. Teenagers are at their ages experiencing rapid change physically and psychologically. This can induce their illusory acknowledgement of shyness. A more objective measure of their shyness is needed to determine their shyness for a scientific research.

In sum, due to the missing logical elements in this argument, without more evidence and prudent deduction, one should not conclude that the levels of melatonin affect the shyness of infants and has lasting impact.

总结：argu如果时间充分，就是补充alternative explanation, 但是这也不是那么容易，写作速度很重要。论坛上有人说过argu要500字，那样，内容会更充实。

限时最好限在26-27分钟，这样会安全一些。argu也没有什么多说了。

laner023UID: 2223653

Sketch：
1．    没有供比较的控制组
2．    Hormone melatonin 水平在母体的提高足以影响婴儿害羞性格的证据缺失
3．    少年认为自己是害羞的不一定就等于他们是害羞的

In this argument, it is concluded that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. The argument is constituted according to a study of a group of 25 infants and the follow-up study while these infants became teenagers. However, there are several logical defects in this argument, causing it fails to constitute a sound argument in favor of the conclusion.

To begin with, in the research of the 25 infants and the follow-up research, there is no valid control group for comparison. Research to identify underlying reasons for a particular phenomenon needs a control group and a treated group so that the consequence of the focused difference can be identified. However, in the research of 25 infants who showed sign of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar sensitive impulses, there are no such control group, of which the infant should have no or slight distress in respond to the same impulses. （控制组的特征没有说出来，这里控制组应该是那些不在秋天出生的婴儿吧） Lacking this control group, one can not deduce that it is the hormone melatonin which causes shyness. It may be other reasons like genetic difference, rather than the hormone, which lead to the shyness.

Secondly, the evidence that levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness is missed. In this argument, there is no evidence provided suggests that the levels of melatonin in the mothers increased in autumn is significant enough to alter the shyness of the infants. Moreover, its mechanism to alter the shyness is unknown. It is no more than a conjecture that the hormone of melatonin affects the shyness of the infants. （个人觉得这个不好直接反驳，这是全文的结论，作者文章写了那么多就是为了证明这个结论的。要驳就驳他的一个个分论点，结论才能不攻自破。个人意见。）

Finally, teenagers in the follow-up research who identified themselves as shy are not necessarily shy. Teenagers identified themselves as shy must not actually be shy. 这两句不是一个意思吗 Teenagers are at their ages experiencing rapid change physically and psychologically. This can induce their illusory acknowledgement of shyness. A more objective measure of their shyness is needed to determine their shyness for a scientific research.

In sum, due to the missing logical elements in this argument, without more evidence and prudent deduction, one should not conclude that the levels of melatonin affect the shyness of infants and has lasting impact.（结尾不错，简洁！学习！）

[ 本帖最后由 laner023 于 2007-1-20 22:19 编辑 ]

cckantUID: 2247822

谢谢两位