issue10 第一次作业 诚请拍砖 谢谢！

kylinUID: 2242436

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

It certainly is beneficial that governments promise to offer sufficient financial support to their major cities for their booming in every field. However, is it right to consider that cities are national tradition's retainers so that need to be patronized? The speaker claims so, but from my perspective, the rural areas are actually the patrons of those long time customs and traditional manners, which deserve more sponsoring from the government.

Admittedly, cities always have several decent museums or monuments for displaying or commemorating some past stories or gods in traditional mythology so that need to gain  a number of checks for constructing or preserving these buildings. Nevertheless, major cities are always places in which the technology is widespreadly utilized and residents' life is generally modernized, besides, those cities, especially metropolises, are centers of experiencing the globalization. With the globalization continuously brings people various civilizations from other countries and may easily lead a fad of adoring foreign cultures, it seriously undermines traditional cultures of their own. In another word, cities all over the world become increasingly homogenized while overwhelming their own traditions. It can be aptly exemplified by the following case. China, which is a remarkable developing country which opened to communicate with the world about 30 years ago, has been inundated by western cultures. As the government promoted nationwide resurging by providing plenty of appropriation for provinces, modernized cities have sprout up and filled with Starbucks, Pizzahuts, Wal-Mart’s and so on, but hardly can run into a traditional Chinese teahouse. Moreover, Christmas and Thanksgiving Day are extremely popular and crazily celebrated by Chinese people who, in fact, are neither religious nor holding values same as Western people. In contrast, the Chinese traditional festivals, such as mid-autumn day, are downplayed. This illustrates that in spite of the goal of cities' thriving can be achieved by financial support, traditional cultures are shoved to hardly survive in these areas.

On the other hand, the rural areas are less likely to get in touch with the outside so that people there may even not have the faintest idea about globalization. As not confused with so many different cultures as citizens, people in the countrysides are able to purely stick their own traditional rituals and preserve the local cultures.  Hence, it makes countrysides can act as safeguards of cultural traditions. What is more, life tempo in the countrysides are much slower than big cities, and people under these serene and pressure-free circumstances, instead of sinking in mountains of work, are more likely to create some enchanting folk songs or delicate crafts. Notwithstanding, poverty of rural areas, which cripples the activeness of holding cultural traditions, has been a vital factor of threatening the survival of nation's cultural traditions. Therefore, governments could not make nation's cultural traditions flourish without contribute abundant of subsidy to rural areas.

Last but not least, the work of assuring a nation's cultural traditions can't be afforded alone by the government. It is the society's responsibility to prevent cultural traditions from extinction. What if the government apply municipalities enough financial support for working on the tradition-protection project, but functionaries use the subsidy to invite art groups abroad coming to introduce foreign cultures? If people only pay scanty attention to shield their own cultural traditions, government's billion efforts equal null then.

In conclusion, governments need to give more financial support to rural areas instead of major cities for preserving and generating a nation's cultural tradition. Meanwhile, governments must advocate their people united to guard their own cultures.

nostrumUID: 2124189

不是我改lz更新过的？

kylinUID: 2242436

不好意思 刚刚自己看了下 发现一些很弱智的错误（当时居然晕乎乎啥都没看出来。。）
如果nostrum版主还没改我上面那篇 又看到这个更新的话 就请帮忙改下面这份八～～呵呵  辛苦了～

10"Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

It certainly is conducive that governments promise to offer sufficient financial support to their major cities for their booming in every field. However, is it right to consider that cities are national tradition's retainers so that need to be patronized? The speaker claims so, but from my perspective, the rural areas are actually the patrons of those long time customs and traditional manners, which deserve more sponsoring from the government.

Admittedly, cities always have several decent museums or monuments for displaying or commemorating some past stories or gods in traditional mythology so that need to gain  a number of checks for constructing or preserving these architechtures. Nevertheless, major cities are always places in which the technology is widespreadly utilized and residents' life is modernized, besides, those cities, especially metropolises, are centers of experiencing the globalization. With the globalization continuously brings people various civilizations from other countries and may easily lead a fad of adoring foreign cultures, it seriously undermines traditional cultures of their own. In another word, cities all over the world become increasingly homogenized while overwhelming their own traditions. It can be aptly exemplified by the following case. China, a remarkable developing country which opened to communicate with the world about 30 years ago, has been inundated by western cultures. As the government promoted nationwide resurging by providing plenty of appropriation for provinces, modernized cities have sprout up and filled with Starbucks, Pizzahuts, Wal-Mart’s and so on, but people can hardly run into a traditional Chinese teahouse. Moreover, Christmas and Thanksgiving Day are extremely popular and crazily celebrated by Chinese people who, in fact, are neither religious nor holding values same as Western people. In contrast, the Chinese traditional festivals, such as mid-autumn day, are downplayed. This illustrates that in spite of the goal of cities' thriving can be achieved by financial support, traditional cultures are shoved to hardly survive in these areas.

On the other hand, the rural areas are less likely to get in touch with the outside so that people there may even not have the faintest idea about globalization. As not confused with so many different cultures as citizens, people in the countrysides are able to purely stick their own traditional rituals and preserve the local cultures.  Hence, it makes countrysides can act as safeguards of cultural traditions. What is more, the life tempo in the countrysides is much slower than big cities, and instead of sinking in mountains of work, people are more likely to create some enchanting folk songs or delicate crafts by enjoying the serene and pressure-free circumstances. Notwithstanding, poverty of rural areas, which cripples the activeness of holding cultural traditions, has been a vital factor of threatening the survival of nation's cultural traditions. Therefore, governments could not make nation's cultural traditions flourish without contributing abundant of subsidy to rural areas.

Last but not least, the work of assuring a nation's cultural traditions can't be afforded alone by the government. It is the whole society's responsibility to prevent cultural traditions from extinction. What if the government apply municipalities enough financial support for working on the tradition-protection project, but functionaries use the subsidy to invite art groups abroad coming to introduce foreign cultures? If people only pay scanty attention to shield their own cultural traditions, government's billion efforts would equal null then.

In conclusion, governments need to give more financial support to rural areas instead of only assisting major cities for preserving and generating a nation's cultural tradition. Meanwhile, governments should encourage their people to unite guarding their own cultures together.
  

nostrumUID: 2124189

It is certainly conducive that governments promise to offer sufficient financial support to their major cities for their booming in every field. However, is it right to consider that cities are national tradition's retainers so that need to be patronized? The speaker claims so, but from my perspective, the rural areas are actually the patrons of those long time customs and traditional manners, which deserve more sponsoring from the government.
开头还可以，虽然有些大众化，但是观点明确，也没有什么废话

Admittedly, cities always have several decent museums or monuments for displaying or commemorating some past stories or gods in traditional mythology so that they need to gain  a number of checks for constructing or preserving these architechtures. Nevertheless, major cities are always places in which the technology is widespreadly utilized and residents' life is modernized, besides, those cities, especially metropolises, are centers of experiencing the globalization. 首先，center of sth. 其次，center of globalization, 有这样的说法吗？With the globalization continuously brings people various civilizations from other countries and may easily lead a fad of adoring foreign cultures, it seriously undermines traditional cultures of their own. In another word, cities all over the world become increasingly homogenized while overwhelming their own traditions. It can be aptly exemplified by the following case. China, a remarkable developing country which opened to communicate with the world about 30 years ago, has been inundated by western cultures. As the government promoted nationwide resurging by providing plenty of appropriation for provinces, modernized cities have sprout up and filled with Starbucks, Pizzahuts, Wal-Mart’s and so on, but people can hardly run into a traditional Chinese teahouse. Moreover, Christmas and Thanksgiving Day are extremely popular and crazily celebrated by Chinese people who, in fact, are neither religious nor holding values same as Western people. In contrast, the Chinese traditional festivals, such as mid-autumn day, are downplayed. This illustrates that in spite of the goal of cities' thriving can be achieved by financial support, traditional cultures are shoved to hardly survive in these areas.
本段论证角度不错的，很有说服力，很好，例子选得独特。
On the other hand, the rural areas are less likely to get in touch with the outside so that people there may even not have the faintest idea about globalization. As not confused with so many different cultures as citizens, people in the countrysides are able to purely stick their own traditional rituals and preserve the local cultures.  Hence, it makes countrysides can act as safeguards of cultural traditions. What is more, the life tempo in the countrysides is much slower than big cities, and instead of sinking in mountains of work, people are more likely to create some enchanting folk songs or delicate crafts by enjoying the serene and pressure-free circumstances. Notwithstanding, poverty of rural areas, which cripples the activeness of holding cultural traditions, has been a vital factor of threatening the survival of nation's cultural traditions. Therefore, governments could not make nation's cultural traditions flourish without contributing abundant of subsidy to rural areas.
呵呵，写得真的很好
Last but not least, the work of assuring a nation's cultural traditions can't be afforded alone by the government. It is the whole society's responsibility to prevent cultural traditions from extinction. What if the government apply municipalities enough financial support for working on the tradition-protection project, but functionaries use the subsidy to invite art groups abroad coming to introduce foreign cultures? If people only pay scanty attention to shield their own cultural traditions, government's billion efforts would equal null then.
与上两段相比，本段略显单薄，最好再增加一些论证
In conclusion, governments need to give more financial support to rural areas instead of only assisting major cities for preserving and generating a nation's cultural tradition. Meanwhile, governments should encourage their people to unite guarding their own cultures together.
从本文看Lz是个很用心的人，这篇文章稳稳能打上4分，并且很有希望打上5分，论证角度的选择，论证的展开有新意，TS写得很好，
我拍人一向是特别狠的，以致于有版主提醒我要照顾板油的心情，狠拍的同时一定要鼓励，但是对于lz这篇文章，我很喜欢，不是不想狠拍，没必要鸡蛋里面挑骨头，保持这个水平，考试的时候会得到高分的。现在lz的问题就在于“写了很久”
继续练习，争取在45min内写出这个水平

下面给你一个开阔思路的提纲
It is always true that big cities of a country boom not only in economy but also in culture.
Actually, not all the major cities of a country are bound to the responsibility of preserving a nation’s culture traditions.
Indeed, in some major cities, where have less culture traditions, it creates a better environment for development than in those cities where long culture traditions are preserved.
Nevertheless, admitted that, there are also some major cities that are characterized by their long culture traditions, similarly, either small cities, or villages and towns, in spite of not being major cities, are the places where culture traditions generated and handed down be generations.

kylinUID: 2242436

真的太感谢了。。。。ls那么晚还在帮我改～

真是深受鼓舞吖  本来对自己挺没信心的 看过ls的话差点没让自己飙泪～～呵呵
现在忽然觉得当时动笔时的海量郁闷都值了～～～:loveliness: