argument26 第一篇Argu～，请指教

lindorUID: 2290025

花了1个小时，一边玩一边写的 -.-
在精华区找了个模板写的，发现套起来真好用。。可是，要是大家都用差不多的模板，会不会判抄袭啊？？

26.The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.
"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."

In this argument, the arguer recommends that Mr. Charles Schade should be hired in the position to direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system because of successes of Steel City High School, where Mr. Charles Schade had worked as a music director for five years. To support this conclusion, the arguer cites the achievement of the school band from Steel City High School, moreover the arguer points out that the quality of this music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly during the time Mr. Charles Schada has been there. As it stands, the arguer's inducement suffers from several critical flaws as follows.
First of all, the arguer commits a fallacy of contributing the achievements of the school band to Mr. Charles (Mr. Charles Schade). The school band of Steel City High might belong to a separate organization which is directed by another teacher, and Mr. Charles never takes any responsibility of it. Also there could be a possibility that the school band is a remarkable brand of Steel City High, and members of this band are selected carefully so they are quite capable because of their talents and long-lasting practice on music, thus they seldom lose the regional band competitions. To this point, Mr. Charles is likely to do little with the contribution of this school band.
In addition, the arguer fails to prove the improved quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments is related with Mr. Charles. If assuming that the idea to improve the music rehearsal facilities and music instruments is pointed out by Mr. Charles, even though it is quite possible benefited by the development plan for the whole school, it can not be a proof that Mr. Charles are qualified as a music director, because the main task for a music director in High school is to enhance students' interests in music and lift music levels of all students. Furthermore, putting forward this idea is quite easy and nature when the teacher find that the music facilities and instruments can not work well any longer, considering that the ability to distinguish quality between good music equipments and bad ones is fundamental for a music teacher.
Finally, the arguer is based on a gratuitous assumption that Mr. Charles is competent for planning and directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. Although we suppose that the success of Steel City High is attained with the help of Mr. Charles, whether he could plan and direct the general music education programs is still suspicious. According to what we supposed, Mr. Charles might be experienced in managing school band and distinguishing music equipments, but there is no evidence that he has experience in handling the general education programs for a whole school, what if Mr. Charles is just professional in Rock? What' worse, the arguer excludes the differences between the Steel City High School and the Saluda school. The successful mode of the Steel City could not be applied directly to the school of Saluda, taking into account that the students and music teachers might not of the same type.
To sum up, the conclusion reached in the argument lacks credibility since the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer claims. In order to make the argument more convincing, the arguer should provide more information concerning whether or not Mr. Charles did contribution to the success of the Steel City High School. To better evaluate the argument, we need more exact evidence that Mr. Charles has sufficient capability in planning and directing the general education programs for the entire Saluda school system, otherwise the argument is logically unacceptable.



[ 本帖最后由 lindor 于 2007-1-23 23:16 编辑 ]

askmeUID: 2264776

In this argument, the arguer recommends that Mr. Charles Schade should be hired in the position to direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system because of successes of Steel City High School, where Mr. Charles Schade had worked as a music director for five years. To support this conclusion, the arguer cites the achievement of the school band from Steel City High School, moreover the arguer points out that the quality of this music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly during the time Mr. Charles Schada has been there. As it stands, the arguer's inducement suffers from several critical flaws as follows. 开头太长了
First of all, the arguer commits a fallacy of contributing the achievements of the school band to Mr. Charles (Mr. Charles Schade). The school band of Steel City High might belong to a separate organization which is directed by another teacher, and Mr. Charles never takes any responsibility of it. Also there could be a possibility that the school band is a remarkable brand of Steel City High, and members of this band are selected carefully so they are quite capable because of their talents and long-lasting practice on music, thus they seldom lose the regional band competitions. To this point, Mr. Charles is likely to do little with the contribution of this school band.
In addition, the arguer fails to prove the improved quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments is related with Mr. Charles. If assuming that the idea to improve the music rehearsal facilities and music instruments is pointed out by Mr. Charles, even though it is quite possible benefited by the development plan for the whole school, it can not be a proof that Mr. Charles are qualified as a music director, because the main task for a music director in High school is to enhance students' interests in music and lift music levels of all students. Furthermore, putting forward this idea is quite easy and nature when the teacher find that the music facilities and instruments can not work well any longer, considering that the ability to distinguish quality between good music equipments and bad ones is fundamental for a music teacher.这个点攻击的不好吧？
Finally, the arguer is based on a gratuitous assumption that Mr. Charles is competent for planning and directing the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system. Although we suppose that the success of Steel City High is attained with the help of Mr. Charles, whether he could plan and direct the general music education programs is still suspicious. According to what we supposed, Mr. Charles might be experienced in managing school band and distinguishing music equipments, but there is no evidence that he has experience in handling the general education programs for a whole school, what if Mr. Charles is just professional in Rock? What' worse, the arguer excludes the differences between the Steel City High School and the Saluda school. The successful mode of the Steel City could not be applied directly to the school of Saluda, taking into account that the students and music teachers might not of the same type.好
To sum up, the conclusion reached in the argument lacks credibility since the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer claims. In order to make the argument more convincing, the arguer should provide more information concerning whether or not Mr. Charles did contribution to the success of the Steel City High School. To better evaluate the argument, we need more exact evidence that Mr. Charles has sufficient capability in planning and directing the general education programs for the entire Saluda school system, otherwise the argument is logically unacceptable.

点都攻击的不错，结构也没问题。

[ 本帖最后由 askme 于 2007-1-28 09:27 编辑 ]