ISSUE51 米国有米寒假小组28日第二次作业

cckantUID: 2247822

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 505          TIME: 0:47:10          DATE: 2007-1-29

Outline:
1.       满足每个学生的兴趣＆需要不可能实现
2.       兴趣不是天生的，应当主动去教育学生培养学生的兴趣

On the ground that the interest among people are wildly different, and that human are needed to guide to recognize and build their interest, along with practical reasons, I believe that it is not advisable to chase an education specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. A definitive principled education idea with sufficient flexibility allowed to student is instead an effective and realistic way.

To begin with, because every individual has his/her unique set of passion and interest, which drives their life prospect and shape their life pursuit, one should realize that it is impossible to design an education to meet the individual needs and interests of each students. There are innumerable kinds of pursuits for people in the modern society. Many may wish to become a dental, accountant, or structure engineer, while others dream to be a chef, film star or behavior artist. An economic law suggests that the large scale of production, as education in this issue, reduces the average cost for people to gain utilities. For example, it should cost much less for students attending course for principle of economics, than for students attending art history of ancient Africa, due to large amount of student to share the cost of paying the lecturer, utility bills and so on. Thus, in general, it is impossible to have higher level of customization without trade-off in efficiency. Nevertheless, while education is planed to be exploit the differential of interests and needs of each student, the education cost must become infinitely large that is affordable to no society.

Moreover, by admitting the fact that interests and needs, especially those can be achieved via having education, are not innate, it is more important to actively cultivate interests and pursuits for the youth. On one hand, the inherent weaknesses of human being such as sloth constrain the human progress to an ideal society. And education is unalienable to responsibility of loosen such constrain. By providing a proper guideline and inspiring environment to students, it is more likely to observe that people in the community have interests and needs in line with human development. On the other hand, as interests and needs changes along with one's growth, there is an efficiency lost to following the pace of interests evolution. Many famous people change their study interest a lot. The Nobel laureate in economics, John C. Harsanyi, switched his major from pharmacy, philosophy, sociology to economics. An education specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests mean that there can be no clarity in educating objective. Also, if a freshman is not sure about whether to be financial planer or an economist, should the education institute waits to provide courses until the freshman make up his mind?

In sum, as interests and needs of students are not pre-specified when they go to school, and no education is possible to fully satisfy each student's needs and interests, I believe that education will not be truly effective when it is specifically designed to suit each student.      

ntmlgszUID: 2235666

Outline:
1.      满足每个学生的兴趣＆需要不可能实现2.       兴趣不是天生的，应当主动去教育学生培养学生的兴趣
   
On the ground that the interest[+s] amongpeople are wildly different, and that human are needed to [+be] guided torecognize and build their interest[+s], alongwith practical reasons, I believe that it is not advisable to chase aneducation specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests ofeach student. A definitive principled education idea with sufficientflexibility allowed to student is instead an effective and realistic way.[开头很简洁明了]
  
Tobegin with, because every individual has his/her unique set of passion andinterest, which drives their life prospect andshape their life pursuit,[复数] one should realize thatit is impossible to design an education to meet the individual needs and interestsof each students. There are innumerable kinds of pursuits for people in themodern society. Many may wish to become adental, accountant, or structure engineer [前面有冠词后面怎么没有了呢？], whileothers dream to be a chef, film star or behavior artist. [这里最好有个过渡] An economiclaw suggests that the large scale of production, as education in this issue,reduces the average cost for people to gain utilities. Forexample, it should cost much less for students attending course for principleof economics, than for students attending art history of ancient Africa, due tolarge amount of student to share the cost of paying the lecturer, utility billsand so on. [这个例子和你所说的学校负担不起针对性费用有必然联系吗？]Thus, ingeneral, it is impossible to have higher level of customization without trade-offin efficiency. Nevertheless, while education is planed to be exploited the differential of interests and needs of eachstudent, the education cost [cost of education] must become infinitely large thatis affordable to no society.

[由于论证的不够有力导致主题句的结论不够让人信服]
   
Moreover,by admitting the fact that interests and needs, especially those can beachieved via having education, are not innate, it is more important to activelycultivate interests and pursuits for the youth. On one hand, the inherentweaknesses of human being such as sloth constrain the human progress to anideal society.[such as后面应该不能接句子的，查查吧] And educationis unalienable to responsibility of [to] loosen such constrain. By providing a properguideline and inspiring environment to students, it is more likely to observethat people in the community have interests and needs in line with humandevelopment. On the other hand, as interests and needs changes along with one'sgrowth, there is an efficiency lost [效率丧失？为什么呢？和前半句有联系吗？] to followingthe pace of interests evolution. Many famous people change their study interesta lot. The Nobel laureate in economics, John C. Harsanyi, switched his majorfrom pharmacy, philosophy, sociology to economics.[然后呢？怎么扔个人出来就不管了呢？说明下吧] An educationspecifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests mean thatthere can be no clarity in educating objective.[没有清晰的教育目标吗？你应该论证下吧] Also, if afreshman is not sure about whether to be financial planer or an economist,should the education institute waits to provide courses until the freshman makeup his mind?

[本段很多结论和例子都是未加论证和说明就扔在那给人堆砌的感觉，实在难以另人信服，而且句子之间连接不紧密缺乏一个逻辑主线][补充一点有些人的兴趣需要开发，有些则不需要，不是吗？]
     
Insum, as interests and needs of students are not pre-specified when they go toschool, and no education is possible to fully satisfy each student's needs andinterests, I believe that education will not be truly effective when it isspecifically designed to suit each student.      

总评：上面论述的不全面，不深入，和不够充分导致作文的结论脆弱，而且结尾和开头段和观点有所脱离，Adefinitive principled education idea with sufficient flexibility allowed tostudent is instead an effective and realistic way.你所认为的实际有效的方法根本没有提到。

   

限时是一方面，质量又是一方面，不能光为了完成写作而不顾质量，况且ETS还有一半没写完的6分ISSUE呢？努力吧~~呵呵