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Nowadays, education, is one of the key words in our time. A man without an education, many of us believe, is an unfortunate victim of adverse circumstance, deprived of the greatest opportunity in our twenty-first century.(尽量改改原句,我把这句话百度了下,搜索结果出来很多,何况新概念四是很多考AW人的参考书,感觉照搬会可能被ETS判雷同~呵) Convinced of the importance of education, all of the modern states are likely to seek and invest in any effective and efficient ways to enhance the quality of instruction. Some allege that all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach for the purpose to improve instruction at the college and university level. Yet, the statement, as far as I am concerned, is not only infeasible and inaccessible, but also provincial and unsound because of overlooking many other aspects of the essence which have an vital impact on instruction such as the scientific attainments, lecturing skills and the character of the faculties(faculty, 本身就是集体名词指全体教员了。下面有几处同样错误,不重复改了哈). (开头很赞,特别垂涎lz的用词,呵呵)
Admittedly, in the areas of engineering, law and some other disciplines mainly training their students commanding(handling. Commanding虽然有支配的意思,但确定能放在这里用么?) practical skills, the obtaining of experience in working outside the academic world, to some extent, amounts to something important for improving instruction. To begin with, such experiences related to the course the faculties(members of the faculty,或educators之类) instruct may assist them to deepen their comprehension which concerns the academic knowledge. As a consequence, the lecture may become more vivid, pragmatic and detailed, which in turn ameliorate the quality of instruction. Besides, faculties who actively engaged in their fields are more likely to be refreshed and impassioned about the subject at hand. Last but may not lest, since the faculties may encounter numerous obstacles enclosed by the employment, they may bring to(不要to,bring sb. sth.) their students practical, real-world examples and issues considering the principles and theories discussed in textbook(textbooks), thereby enabling students (to have) a better preparation for future career.However, such disciplines as mathematics, philosophy and history and some other rationalistic science, which aim at cultivate(cultivating) abilities of independence(independent thinking吧?要不这些学科培养人的独立好像说不太过去), critical thinking and creativity, will frown at the suggestion that all faculties are called for gaining experience outside academic world. For instance, what a faculty whose major is mathematics need to do are dealing with theories regarding the way of describing relationships between numbers and other measurable quantities, but not taking part in some activities relevant to their course. (论证很到位,显得很有力)Moreover, in order to boost the quality of instruction, what we should emphasize on are those substantial elements, including scientific attainments, lecturing skills and character of the faculties. First of all, as a common sense, it is scientific attainments that directly determined(determine) the quality of instruction. Image(Imagine) that there is a so-called profession(professor), who superficially comprehend or even (is) ignorant about the academic knowledge he instructs. Can(,can 应该接上句话,不用断开) he guarantee the quality of instruction just by attending the job with respect to his course? Secondly, without lecturing skills, even if an arbiter, who has a splendid future behind him, will bring students just barren learning, which weaken or even undermine students’ positivity involving in that academic field. Finally, the serious attitude towards academic research, possessed by a magnificent professor, in my experience as a student, (which)impresses us deeply and easily infects us, which cultivates our motivation (can motivate us )to pursue the field as a career(怪怪的,会不会是pursue a career in the field?). In sum, outside experience, to some extent, may help to improve instruction quality of the faculties aiming at training students with skills for solving practical problems in their future careers;however, in order to boost the quality of instruction, we should pay more attention to those crucial elements: scientific attainments, lecturing skills and the character of the faculties, which predominate the melioration of instruction. (To sum up^_^ , lz的这篇文章论证很严密,用词和句式也很多样,比偶的那篇好多了。。。感觉自己不是来拍的,是纯粹来学东西的。。呵呵 唯一需要注意的就是模仿问题,模仿归模仿,千万不要被ETS抓到拉~以前看过一篇说数人被判雷同的帖子,据说那些人都是狂背新概念四的。。弄到我都不敢看了~)
[ 本帖最后由 kylin 于 2007-1-31 22:57 编辑 ] |