Issue159 【天下无G askme习作】第4次作业 第一次限时过570 庆贺 有缘的人帮忙看看

askmeUID: 2264776

TOPIC: ISSUE159 - "The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds."
WORDS: 578          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-1-30

In this era of rapid development of science and technology, machines are abroad used everywhere and greatly shape our world. Most of our clothes, instruments are not produced by groups of workers any longer, but by thousands of machines. What's more, with computers, we can study in the classroom in a university thousands of miles away, buy something without going out, and communicate with someone who we have never met before. In short, machines appear to dominate every field of human being, and thus give rise to a controversy: whether machines will be superior to human someday. In my opinion, although machines might exert profound influence on human lives, they will never be able to superior to human and rule us.

First of all, compared to human mind, machines have lots of disadvantage, which determines that machines are only tools of human minds. Common sense and experience tells us that machines are made by human beings and thus can only do what human beings tell them to do. For example, although computers, which are designed by human, can perform varieties of tasks, such as calculating, sending e-mail, memorizing information, they are processing in the guidance of software coded by human beings. In software, people translate introduction of tasks, theories, and methods, which are discovered by human beings into the "language" that can be recognized by computers. Without human, computers are not cleverer than empty boxes. What's more, machines do not have ability to learn new things and therefore they can only do what they are used to do. Even if some machines are able to regulate themselves according to the environment, they merely follow several simple principles of negative feedback, which is, of course, not real learning. In other words, machines are only tools used by human to realize what are in their minds.

Furthermore, we are indeed superior to machines in many aspects because we, for instance, have creative thinking and arts unavailable to all machines. When we see a mount or a river, we can draw beauty out of them in lots of perspectives. We can enjoy them by objective observance and draw a piece of canvas, and we can also observe from our subjective feeling which results in a drawing of impressionism. By contrast, one machine, such as a camera, can only take a photo stiffly according to the shape, color, and position of the mount or the river. Thanks to such kind of ability, human beings can enjoy far more beauty and create numerous works of art, and whatever else might be said, I believe that such wealth is the major difference between human and machines.

However, in some aspects, machines are more excellent than human beings. And it is just the purpose for human to invent machines. For example, computers can calculate more quickly than human beings and are helpful in science and economics. In a not dissimilar way, clothing machines can produce more clothes than the era when the machines had not been invented, and help us to prevent from cold. These examples are used to point out that machines are the best servants that human have ever had. In short, human has benefited from making the best use of machines.

To sum up, the coming age of machines will never exclude human from domination in the world. On the contrary, machines help people live better lives and keep their prosperity in the world. Without machines, our society will either disintegrate or become an anthill.

yan-dorisUID: 2261928

能在规定时间内写成这样，不错啊！思路正确，例子基本到位！加油！看了你的，我觉得自己写得有点偏了，有空帮我看看吧！

In this era of rapid development of science and technology, machines are abroad used everywhere and greatly shape our world. Most of our clothes, instruments are not produced by groups of workers any longer, but by thousands of machines. What's more, with computers, we can study in the classroom in a university thousands of miles away, buy something without going out, and communicate with someone who we have never met before. In short, machines appear to dominate every field of human being, and thus give rise to a controversy[自然引到话题，不错！个人觉得前面实例较多不适何开头]: whether machines will be superior to human someday. In my opinion, although machines might exert profound influence on human lives, they will never be able to superior to human and rule us.

First of all, compared to human mind, machines have lots of disadvantage, which determines that machines are only tools of human minds. Common sense and experience tells us that machines are made by human beings and thus can only do what human beings tell them to do. For example, although computers, which are designed by human, can perform varieties of tasks, such as calculating, sending e-mail, memorizing information, they are processing in the guidance of software coded by human beings. In software, people translate introduction of tasks, theories, and methods, which are discovered by human beings into the "language" that can be recognized by computers. Without human, computers are not cleverer than empty boxes. What's more, machines do not have ability to learn new things and therefore they can only do what they are used to do. Even if some machines are able to regulate themselves according to the environment, they merely follow several simple principles of negative feedback, which is, of course, not real learning. In other words, machines are only tools used by human to realize what are in their minds.

Furthermore, we are indeed superior to machines in many aspects because we, for instance, have creative thinking and arts unavailable to all machines. When we see a mount or a river, we can draw beauty out of them in lots of perspectives. We can enjoy them by objective observance and draw a piece of canvas, and we can also observe from our subjective feeling which results in a drawing of impressionism. By contrast, one machine, such as a camera, can only take a photo stiffly according to the shape, color, and position of the mount or the river. Thanks to such kind of ability, human beings can enjoy far more beauty and create numerous works of art, and whatever else might be said, I believe that such wealth is the major difference between human and machines. [这段写得没有第一个分论点精彩，the major difference不是很明显]

However, in some aspects, machines are more excellent than human beings. And it is just the purpose for human to invent machines. For example, computers can calculate more quickly than human beings and are helpful in science and economics. In a not dissimilar way, clothing machines can produce more clothes than the era when the machines had not been invented, and help us to prevent from cold. These examples are used to point out that machines are the best servants that human have ever had. In short, human has benefited from making the best use of machines.

To sum up, the coming age of machines will never exclude human from domination in the world. [前后呼应，好！]On the contrary, machines help people live better lives and keep their prosperity in the world. Without machines, our society will either disintegrate or become an anthill.

lindorUID: 2290025

都限时了？ 太强了……， 仰慕一个。
明天帮你改。嗯。

lindorUID: 2290025

In this era of rapid development of science and technology, machines are abroad used everywhere and greatly shape our world. Most of our clothes, instruments are not produced by groups of workers any longer, but by thousands of machines. What's more, with computers, we can study in the classroom in a university thousands of miles away, buy something without going out, and communicate with someone who we have never met before. In short, machines appear to dominate every field of human being, and thus give rise to a controversy: whether machines will be superior to human someday.（这里提得很自然，恩，不用give，直接用a controversy rises: ）In my opinion, although machines might exert profound influence on human lives, they will never be able to superior to human and rule us.

First of all, compared to human mind, machines have lots of disadvantage, which determines that machines are only tools of human minds. Common sense and experience tells us that machines are made by human beings and thus can only do what human beings tell them to do. For example, although computers, which are designed by human, can perform varieties of tasks, such as calculating, sending e-mail, memorizing information, they are processing in the guidance of software coded by human beings. In software, people translate introduction of tasks, theories, and methods, which are discovered by human beings into the "language" that can be recognized by computers. Without human, computers are not cleverer than empty boxes. What's more, machines do not have ability to learn new things and therefore they can only do what they are used to do. Even if some machines are able to regulate themselves according to the environment, they merely follow several simple principles of negative feedback, which is, of course, not real learning. In other words, machines are only tools used by human to realize what are in their minds.

（这一段说理说得很自然，except第一句。你的第一句是TS，你说的是machines有很多disadvantages，但是后面你的举例，都在强调machines只是工具。你把第一句的那个which放成主句，整个段落的中心就突出多了。而且，后面你确实没有直接明说machines有哪些disadvantages，除了说他们不会real learning之外。）

Furthermore, we are indeed superior to machines in many aspects because we, for instance, have creative thinking and arts unavailable to all machines. When we see a mount or a river, we can draw beauty out of them in lots of perspectives. We can enjoy them by objective observance and draw a piece of canvas, and we can also observe from our subjective feeling which results in a drawing of impressionism. By contrast, one machine, such as a camera, can only take a photo stiffly according to the shape, color, and position of the mount or the river. Thanks to such kind of ability（指代不明确啊，因为你前面插了一句话了……，而且你之前是在描述现象，也没有总结出是什么ability）, human beings can enjoy far more beauty and create numerous works of art, and whatever else might be said, I believe that such wealth（什么wealth？） is the major difference between human and machines. However, in some aspects, machines are more excellent than human beings. And it is just the purpose for human to invent machines. For example, computers can calculate more quickly than human beings and are helpful in science and economics. In a not dissimilar way, clothing machines can produce more clothes than the era when the machines had not been invented, and help us to prevent from cold. These examples are used to point out that machines are the best servants that human have ever had. In short, human has benefited from making the best use of machines.

（这段都不错，之前在说machines比human minds强一些的同时也指出了machines很有用，所以the best servants的结论出来了。但是最后一句，感觉又弱了，in short还是蛮抢眼的，一看就知道要总结了，但是你总结的东西跟这段的整体好像不是特别合。Make best use of，这一点根本就没有提。你说的是在很多方面强，什么时候make best use of了and how。）

To sum up, the coming age of machines will never exclude human from domination in the world. On the contrary, machines help people live better lives and keep their prosperity in the world. Without machines, our society will either disintegrate or become an anthill.

（嗯，这个是名言吧，怎么这么眼熟。1是你的文章木有提这个方面啊。2是前面一句明明说machines好，马上又说没它我也可以。这个结论有点突然）

总的来说，限时能写出这样的水平，很赞。 ：）

[ 本帖最后由 lindor 于 2007-1-31 15:07 编辑 ]