Issue99【Persistence小组】第1次作业

worenleflyUID: 2270315

OPIC: ISSUE99 - "In any realm of life-whether academic, social, business, or political-the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options."

Should  the only way to succeed in any realm of life is to take a practical , rather than an idealistic , point of view ? I agree partly with it ,that the practical view can make people succeed but not the only way . The idealistic point of view has been a vital thought in the society developing process.
On one hand,admittedly,the idealism sometimes ,in general views, is far from reality which appears quite  prefect and indefectible ,and never can come ture . But just this kind of so-called 'idealistic point of view' may foresees the future developing directions of much realm ,such as academic, social ,business,and as well. For example , the roller skates on which people enjoy the fun of rollerskating is prevalent in many areas unpredictable decades . The inventor just wanted to moving with the less strength but the agiler and faster , then he fixed wheels on his shoes.At that time ,the common public considered it a crazy idea ,which just a daydream ,but the later history revealed to all the people that ,the dream came true, they all wrong. From the morden roller skates maybe we cannot see  the original design , however , people acheive the crazy man's daydream .
On the other hand, the idealistisic views would be the real ideal , unless in the developing process people make every step more carefully rather than more simply, more immediately . In such cases , the idealistic views which can called dream donot tend to be superceded by other immature crazy ideas defined as the real idealism which may leads the public astray. Several years after  China found , the destination of the whole society is  realizing  the communism . But people didnot see the fundemental situation of our country clearly .Under this circumstance , all the people strived for steel melting , buliding people's community sightless ,and considered that is the real communism which is totally wrong.People should anaylsis the destination seriously and plan the concrete process for it which illustrate the idealistic views havenot been superceded by simpler or more immediate options;that the idealistic views can lead the human civilization to new fields and an unprecedentedly high level .
No matter how crucial the ideal is ,however,that the practical view should be the basic.We should practice the ideals which maybe sounds crazy in others' view rather than hold the ideal-in that circumstance it can be called daydream . Actually in the process of developing , the ideal only leads a attracting direction.If so, people should take the practical view in the concrete developing step of academic,social,business,or political but put the idealistic aside temporarily which stands for the future direction. Practicalism is what the society , human being needs in concrete civil growth.
In summary, people cannot consider only practical views crucial ,but scorn the great value idealistic views made in the development of human civilization. The idealistic views provide the ideas to compose the blueprint for the future development , the practical views emphrases the requirements in the developing process .On balance , people holding that kind of thought the author put forward may succeed to an extreme in the current level ,without idealistic views , however , can not reach the  final success.

欣馨之火UID: 2183210

Should the only way to succeed in any realm of life is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view? I agree partly with it, that （这里直接用agree partly with that 会不会比较好？）the practical view can make people succeed but not the only way. The idealistic point of view has been a vital thought in the society developing process.

On one hand, admittedly, the idealism sometimes, in general views, is far from reality which appears quite prefect and indefectible, and never can come true. But just this kind of so-called 'idealistic point of view' may foresees the future developing directions of much realm, such as academic, social, business, and as well. （But引导的这句转折仿佛是本段论证的重点，可不可以考虑提前？或者和段首句通过重句方式组合成一句话？由于每段TS比较重要，现在作者这样的安排，给人的感觉第一句讲的是一个意思，第二句才讲出了本段重点。还有，But能独立的引导一句完整的没有重句的结构吗？这个我记得不太清楚了，可以再商榷。） For example, the roller skates on which people enjoy the fun of roller-skating are prevalent in many areas unpredictable decades. The inventor just wanted to move with the less strength but the agiler and faster, and then he fixed wheels on his shoes. At that time, the common public considered it a crazy idea, which just a daydream, but the later history revealed to all the people that, the dream came true, they all wrong. From the mordent roller skates maybe we cannot see the original design, however, people achieve the crazy man's daydream.

On the other hand, the idealistic views would be the real ideal （ideal->ideals） , unless in the developing process people make every step （make every step->take every step）more carefully rather than more simply, more immediately. （这句逻辑似乎有点混乱。想表达的意思是：只有在详细计划的情况下，才有实际理想的成立。那么，连接词应该和“under the condition”有相似的意思，但是“unless”正好相反。如果把前半句的would be改成would not be则用unless是正确的。） In such cases, the idealistic views which can （be）called dream （dream->dreams）do not tend to be superceded by other immature crazy ideas defined as the real idealism which may leads the public astray. Several years after China found, the destination of the whole society is realizing the communism. But people did not see the fundamental situation of our country clearly. Under this circumstance, all the people strived for steel melting, building people's community sightless, and considered （considered->considering）that is the real communism, which is totally wrong. People should analysis （analysis->analyze）the destination seriously and plan the （the->a）concrete process for it which illustrate the idealistic views have not been superceded by simpler or more immediate options; that （这个that多余。前面是分号，这里应该是另一句主谓结构） the idealistic views can lead the human civilization to new fields and an unprecedented high level.

No matter how crucial the ideal is, however, that （that去掉会不会更好？） the practical view should be the basic. We should practice the ideals, which maybe sound crazy in others' view rather than hold the ideal-in that circumstance it can be called daydream. （in that circumstance it can be called daydream，这个应该是修饰ideal的，是一个完整的主谓结构了，但没有重句引导词，似乎有点问题。） Actually in the process of developing, the ideal only leads an attracting direction. If so, people should take the practical view in the concrete developing step of academic, social, business, or political but put the idealistic aside temporarily which stands for the future direction. Pragmatism is what the society, human being （society和human being之间，要么加一个and，要么去掉其中一个。只有两个并列的东西，应该不能只用逗号连接。）needs in concrete civil growth.

In summary, people cannot consider only practical views crucial, but scorn the great value （of）idealistic views made in the development of human civilization. The idealistic views provide the ideas to compose （to compose->for composing）the blueprint for the future development, the practical views emphases the requirements in the developing process. （这一句中，一个逗号连接了两个重句，似乎不能这么用，至少得用一个连接词，或者分成两句话。分析作者的意思，应该加一个连接词。） On balance, people holding that kind of thought the author put forward may succeed to an extreme in the current level, without idealistic views, however, can not reach the final success.

1.        首先，拼写错误比较多，基本的语法错误有一些，包括标点符号与单词之间空格问题，这个请先用MS Word检查（这里的回帖，是经过Word简单的“拼写和语法”检查的）。强烈建议原作者将自己贴出的原文拷贝下来再进行一次此项工作，这样能从中学到很多东西。需要注意的是，MS Word的检查不一定都对，但这个过程会让作者受益。
2.        本文思路比较清晰，采取了“平衡”观点，从论证的逻辑层次来看，还是很不错的。例证的思路也比较丰富。
3.        针对本文，文章思想以及层次结构上没有什么更好的建议了。语言中的一些建议已经在上文中给出，个人观点，共同学习。
4.        加油，加油！Cheer up！