Issue11 【Aspire小组】

iamstoicUID: 2294314

What are the obligations of all nations to solve the world’s most persistent social problems? The statement may involve a variety of aspects such as economics, politics, morality, and so forth. On balance, however, I fundamentally agree with the notion that it is necessary for all nations to support the development of a global university whose students will occupy themselves with the approaches to the world’s most persistent problems.

The global university is designed to assimilate international outstanding teachers who can share expertise and students who will, equipped with the knowledge inculcated by the teachers, go a long way towards dealing with the most imperative problems of the world. While each countries are confronted with tremendous challenges arising from their own nations, yet some persistent social affairs – protecting the environment, preventing the spread of deadly diseases, avoiding war and fighting against terrorism, to name but a few – are global in scope and respect no nation’s boundaries.

When it comes to the environment, Pakistan and India – both of which has suffered severe drought over the past two years - is of vital concern to all those who have realized the seriousness of environmental change. However, the governments of those countries, outside which environmental destruction takes place, intend to close the environmental chapter currently and unhook themselves from any real commitments. Only when all the nations work together to address the environmental problems will the critical mass of pollution be likely to keep away from our planet.

When it comes to medicine, some 30 new diseases have emerged since the mid-1970s, causing thousands of millions of death. SARS, Ebola, Avian flu, the parade of frightening new maladies confirmed that our species, for all its cleverness, still lives at the mercy of the microbe. So what is to be done? As the SARS outbreak has shown, any country would not greatly reduce their impact had it fought in isolation. We need to expand the connections that bind us together and take actions globally, that is ,place these culprits under worldwide surveillance.

In the mass, it is the global university that incorporates international content forming collaborative relationships based on the common interest – solving the most persistent social problems. Its students cross borders will be provided with mutual understanding and scientific exchange, which can be of full benefit in the long run .

lys0209UID: 2209212

昨天聚会去了,没来的及,不好意思啊

What are the obligations of all nations to solve the world’s most persistent social problems? The statement (answer?是不是呼应一些) may involve a variety of aspects such as economics, politics, morality, and so forth. (我觉得这里和下面一句转的太突然了,有点连接不上)On balance, however, I fundamentally agree with the notion that it is necessary for all nations to support the development of a global university whose students will occupy themselves with the approaches(approach仅仅有”方法”的意思吧,这里是否应在to 后面加上象solving这类表示解决意思的词呢?) to the world’s most persistent problems.


The global university is designed to assimilate international outstanding teachers who can share expertise and students who will, equipped with the knowledge inculcated by the (excellent)一个形容词和上面的outstanding呼应会不会好些) teachers, go a long way towards dealing with the most imperative problems of the world. While each countries are(each后面要用单数形式吧)confronted with tremendous challenges arising from their own nations, yet some persistent social affairs – protecting the environment, preventing the spread of deadly diseases, avoiding war and fighting against terrorism, to name but a few  (这是个短语吗?读起来怪怪的)  – are global in scope and respect no nation’s boundaries.


When it comes to the environment, Pakistan and India – both of which has suffered severe drought over the past two years - is of vital concern to all those who have realized the seriousness of environmental change. However, the governments of those countries, outside which environmental destruction takes place, intend to close the environmental chapter currently and unhook themselves from any real commitments. (这句意思有点不懂?呵呵,下次问你)Only when all the nations work together to address the environmental problems will the critical mass of pollution be likely to keep away from our planet. (倒装句.好!)


When it comes to medicine, some 30 new diseases have emerged since the mid-1970s, causing thousands of millions of death. SARS, Ebola, Avian flu, the parade of frightening new maladies confirmed that our species, for all its cleverness, still lives at the mercy of the microbe. So what is to be done? As the SARS outbreak has shown, any country would not greatly reduce their impact had it fought in isolation. We need to expand the connections that bind us together and take actions globally, that is, place culprits under worldwide surveillance.

In the mass, it is the global university that incorporates international content forming collaborative relationships based on the common interest – solving the most persistent social problems. Its students cross borders will be provided with mutual understanding and scientific exchange, which can be of full benefit in the long run .
Ok.读完后觉得该文语言了的,有很多很有味道的词,我后面对于词句都不敢改了,有些不大懂,我怀疑是我对句子的解读还不到位.句式也丰富,有倒装,有问句.
对于结构我要说得是,文章开头我就觉得转的有点突然,后面读下来,觉得你这篇大篇幅的是对社会问题的剖析,从环境和疾病两方面.对于问题的中心global university只在开头,结尾有题到,并没有将他与问题相联系,是不是你每段结尾的总结里的国际合作指的就是它,应该要点明
要在每段论叙中都加以对university的阐叙会更好.
个人意见,第一次改,业务不熟:)