argument147 sales of video games[自由女神小组第13次作业]

hedou992UID: 2199425

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 592          TIME: 上午 120mins          DATE: 2007-2-10

This argument asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video games will increase dramatically in the next few months based on a survey which was not clearly expressed, on their new strategies to introduce new games, and on making an extensive advertising campaign. The arguer has not provided substantial evidences to convince me his argument. So I don't think the increasing will happen unless the author can explain the things that are displayed follow.

Firstly, the survey's effectiveness was not proved. What kinds of people are invited to take this survey? The author implied that the main customers of their games were people 10 to 25 years old. But perhaps people participate in the survey were those whose age were about 40 year old or below 10. Those people almost mid-aged people or children whose literacy is limited, so they like the game provide lifelike graphic. Or perhaps the people take in the survey were almost girls or women who like lifelike graphic but unfortunately they are not often play games. Instead boys or men who often play games maybe like conceived figures or monsters rather than lifelike graphic. Unless the author provides more detail about the survey, he can not convince me that fact he argued.

Secondly, even though the main customers like the lifelike graphic which Whirlwind company’s games contains, do they have the most up-to-date computers? Maybe computers in most families are old fashion because that the newer ones are just on sale for a short time. Moreover, perhaps the most up-to-date computers are too expensive for the game players to afford. Then if they have not the computers they would not purchase the games either. The result is that unless the computers price decrease dramatically the games’ sale will not increase dramatically.

Thirdly, how can I know the advertising campaign that directed at people 10 to 25 years old will play an important role in the sale of video games? From the argument we know that the video games’ sale have declined over the past two years. Do they have some advertisements? If they do have advertisements but it has little use, we can not believe this time it will work. In addition, people 10 to 25 years old are almost students who have no independent economic resource but are supported by their parents. So, maybe they have not enough money to spend on the video games as well as enough time because of heavy burden of study. That is, the advertising campaign may weigh little in the sale of video games.

At last, the arguer can not conclude that the sale will increase dramatically in the next few months, even though the survey is effective and the advertisements weigh a lot. The sales are not only related to the new productions and advertisements, but it is also related to the supply and requirement, and also the sales of competitors. If there have been many kinds of these video games already in the market, or the competitors’ games are more interesting than their, it is hard to say the sales of Whirlwind will increase. It may take a long time to compete with other productions rather than replace them in only a few months.

In sum, the arguer omitted several factors that affect the sales of video games. To strengthen it, the arguer may provide more detail about the survey and more reasons why the sales declined in the past two years. Moreover, a survey about the video games’ market or the conditions about other competitors may be necessary.

wonderfullnameUID: 2208232

This argument asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video games will increase dramatically in the next few months based on a survey which was not clearly expressed, on their new strategies to introduce new games, and on making an extensive advertising campaign. The arguer has not provided substantial evidences to convince me his argument. So I don't think the increasing will happen unless the author can explain the things that are displayed follow.首段写得挺好

Firstly, the survey's effectiveness was not proved. What kinds of people are invited to take this survey? The author implied that the main customers of their games were people 10 to 25 years old. But perhaps people participated in the survey were those whose age were about 40 years old or below 10. 个人觉得这句话很别扭，你看这样行吗？whose age was out of the range from 10 to 26Those people almost mid-aged people or children whose literacy is limited, so they like the game provide lifelike graphic.这句话没道理，只有中年人和知识水平有限的小孩喜欢逼真的游戏？Or perhaps the people take in the survey were almost girls or women who like lifelike graphic but unfortunately they are notdo not often play games. Instead boys or men who often play games maybemay like conceived figures or monsters rather than lifelike graphic. Unless the author provides more detail sabout the survey, he can not convince me that fact he argued.

Secondly, even though the main customers like the lifelike graphic which Whirlwind company’s games contains, do they have the most up-to-date computers? Maybe computers in most families are old fashion because that the newer ones are just on sale for a short time.这句话没看懂，可否解释下 Moreover, perhaps the most up-to-date computers are too expensive for the game players to afford. Then if they have not the computers they would not purchase the games either. The result is that unless the computers price decrease dramatically the games’ sale will not increase dramatically.这句话删….

Thirdly, how can I know the advertising campaign that directed at people 10 to 25 years old will play an important role in the sale of video games? From the argument we know that the video games’ sale have declined over the past two years. Do they have some advertisements? If they do have advertisements but it has little use, we can not believe this time it will work. In addition, people 10 to 25 years old are almost students who have no independent economic resource but are supported by their parents. So, maybe they have not enough money to spend on the video games as well as enough time because of heavy burden of study. That is, the advertising campaign may weigh little in the sale of video games.

At last, the arguer can not conclude that the sale will increase dramatically in the next few months, even though the survey is effective and the advertisements weigh a lot. The sales are not only related to the new productions and advertisements, but it is also related to the supply and requirement, and also the sales of competitors.also后面重复了 If there have been many kinds of these video games already in the market, or the competitors’ games are more interesting than their‘, it is hard to say the sales of Whirlwind will increase. It may take a long time to compete with other productions rather than replace them in only a few months.这句话好

In sum, the arguer omitted several factors that affect the sales of video games. To strengthen it, the arguer may provide more details about the survey and more reasons why the sales declined in the past two years. Moreover, a survey about the video games’ market or the conditions about other competitors may be necessary.简洁，全面
文章逻辑缜密，表达清晰，流畅。基本找出了所有攻击点，不错！

[ 本帖最后由 wonderfullname 于 2007-2-14 09:57 编辑 ]