Argument117 【Persistence 小组】第12次作业

iamstoicUID: 2294314

117.The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they
are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they
were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its
office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this
work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home
office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders,
and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as
paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply
departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."


The author’s recommendation that we should increase the stock of home office machines as well as stock of office supplies at all Valu-Mart stores and therefore the office-supply departments will be the most profitable component of the stores seems logical by citing a recent survey reporting that the majority of the respondents are required to take more work than they were in the past. However, this argument is not thoroughly reasoned after a careful examination.

Firstly, a threshold problem with this memo involves the statistical reliability of the survey. The manager provides no evidence that the number of respondents is sufficient in size and representative of the overall population of the staff concerned at Valu-Mart stores. Lacking information about the how the survey was conducted, the author cannot justifiably arrive at the conclusion based on the survey.

Secondly, no evidence is stated to bolster the author’s recommendation that we should also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens and staplers. It is entirely possible that the office supplies are ample or even excessive at Valu-Mart stores. Consequently, it is useless or even wasteful of increasing stock of office supplies. For that matter, the argument is unwarranted without ruling out such possibility.  

Thirdly, this memo fails to take into account the feasibility of his/her recommendation. The manager assumes that the greater the number of machines at home, the more work the staff will take home with them, and thus the greater the total amount of work the staff does. However, this might not be the case in that the employees who are inefficient at work are likely to take the rest of work required home in order to fulfill the same tasks as that done by those who are highly efficient at the office. Accordingly, it is questionable for us to take the author’s advice. Another challenge to this advice is that it is not easy to increase both stock of home office machines and office supplies at all Valu-Mart stores. Since more machines does not guarantee more work and different departments of Valu-Mart stores may have different financial capabilities and are confronted with different requirements, it is impossible to demand that all departments increase their stock of machines.

Last but not least, even if the author’s recommendation will be adopted, it does not indicate that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component for the profits are affected by a variety of factors. It might be the case that the price of all the stock of machines will go down. Or perhaps some other departments of Valu-Mart will become more profitable than the office-supply components due to more successful management and/or more proceeds from their own products. Without taking into consideration these possibilities, the author cannot persuade me that the Valu-Mart stores should accept the recommendation mentioned above.

In sum, the argument could be improved by providing evidence that the survey is statistically reliable and that it is necessary for the Valu-Mart stores to increase the stock of office supplies. To better evaluate it, we would need more information about the feasibility of this recommendation and more support that has ruled out all other possibilities that other departments would be more gainful than office-supply ones.




[ 本帖最后由 iamstoic 于 2007-2-12 13:27 编辑 ]

小驴子UID: 2222683

The author’s recommendation that we should increase the stock of home office machines as well as stock of office supplies at all Valu-Mart stores and therefore the office-supply departments will be the most profitable component of the stores seems logical by citing a recent survey reporting that the majority of the respondents are required to take more work than they were in the past. However, this argument is not thoroughly reasoned after a careful examination.

Firstly, a threshold problem with this memo involves the statistical reliability of the survey. The manager provides no evidence that the number of respondents is sufficient in size and representative of the overall population of the staff concerned at Valu-Mart stores. Lacking information about the（the去掉） how the survey was conducted, the author cannot justifiably arrive at the conclusion based on the survey.

Secondly, no evidence is stated to bolster the author’s recommendation that we（在argu论述中最好少用第一人称，此处改为the store） should also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens and staplers. It is entirely possible that the office supplies are ample or even excessive at Valu-Mart stores. Consequently, it is useless or even wasteful of increasing stock of office supplies. For that matter, the argument is unwarranted without ruling out such possibility.  

Thirdly, this memo fails to take into account the feasibility of his/her recommendation. The manager assumes that the greater the number of machines at home, the more work the staff will take home with them, and thus the greater the total amount of work the staff does. However, this might not be the case in that the employees who are inefficient at work are likely to take the rest of work required home in order to fulfill the same tasks as that done by those who are highly efficient at the office. Accordingly, it is questionable for us to take the author’s advice. Another challenge to this advice is that it is not easy to increase both stock of home office machines and office supplies at all Valu-Mart stores. Since more machines does not guarantee more work and different departments of Valu-Mart stores may have different financial capabilities and are confronted with different requirements, it is impossible to demand that all departments increase their stock of machines.

Last but not least, even if the author’s recommendation will be adopted, it does not indicate that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component for the profits are affected by a variety of factors. It might be the case that the price of all the stock of machines will go down. Or perhaps some other departments of Valu-Mart will become more profitable than the office-supply components due to more successful management and/or more proceeds from their own products. Without taking into consideration of these possibilities, the author cannot persuade me that the Valu-Mart stores should accept the recommendation mentioned above.

In sum, the argument could be improved by providing evidence that the survey is statistically reliable and that it is necessary for the Valu-Mart stores to increase the stock of office supplies. To better evaluate it, we would need more information about the feasibility of this recommendation and more support that has ruled out all other possibilities that other departments would be more gainful than office-supply ones.
模板使用到位， 论断比较好 没有什么语病 这篇argu应该可以得很高得分