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[i习作temp] Issue7【flying小组】第二次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-2-18 21:09:58 |显示全部楼层
TOPIC: ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
WORDS: 546          TIME: 0:43:26          DATE: 2007-2-18       修改后WORDS:544
提纲:尽管数码相机很有用,但是并不能说明文字记录没有它重要
在方便程度上,文字的确有一些弱点
但是精确和方便并不是记录的唯一要素
事实上,文字记录仍然比较重要些
总结


The author believes the video camera provides an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, what is more, he also compare the video with written records and get a result that the frontier plays a more important part in today's documentation nominal. I do not deny the exactitude brought by video camera, while I still support the written records has a higher status. And I believe words sometime may be more important than figurers.

For one thing, the developing technology, especially in video field, helps us get records swiftly and clearly. The video camera always gives people direct feelings, for it usually let the scene reappear. People enjoy this way of recording, because it is simple, quickly and convenient. In addition, generally speaking, pictures do not have as abstruse significance as words, what is great for entertainment. So people are excited to use it recording lives and take it foe a succinct matter. Writing is certainly not like taking pictures, for it needs more time. And some of us deem the abstractness of literature of words is something hard to be controlled. Considering of such complications, written records indeed have some weakness.

However, accurate and convincing are not the only factors of a form of documentation, though they are really of great importance. Why do the recorded history and lives affect us and move us? Taking that into account, the profound thoughts and universally applicable can not be neglected. Most people are taught to read books especially masterpieces when they are youth, and they are attracted by the words and meanings of it. That is one cause for the widely use of written records. In spite of that, though the figures provided by cameras are precise, people may not understand the meaning without interpretation. Even the best picture would not come to front without confidant. As for words, there is not any such problem, for the same parlance only has the similar connotation. So far as we know, the possibly of misconstrue and misconceive of that is very small.

In fact, written records is still more important than video camera as a form of documentation. Firstly, although camera is a handy material, there still are many people do not have one yet. If we only consider the people who have one, they may have the idea that it is important to them. But when we take the whole world as an example, lots of areas are still at the bottom. In those areas, which compose the majority of the world, writing is not only a convenient method, nut also a cheap and only available way. Secondly, even if the video camera becomes prevalence in the world, the ancient records are still those written ones, which could never be recorded as accurate as today's things for camera. Finally, the history of words gives it solid foundation in documentation.

In conclusion, there are many kinds of methods of recording nowadays, video camera is of cause a newly and effective method which is quickly spreading all over the world and writing is still at the top of the documentation kingdom for its deeply notions and characteristics. The comparing is complex and none of us could obtain the conclusion that video is more important without any believable evidence.




[ 本帖最后由 千年子猫 于 2007-2-19 12:55 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-2-19 21:01:45 |显示全部楼层
TOPIC: ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
WORDS: 546          TIME: 0:43:26          DATE: 2007-2-18       修改后WORDS:544
提纲:尽管数码相机很有用,但是并不能说明文字记录没有它重要
在方便程度上,文字的确有一些弱点
但是精确和方便并不是记录的唯一要素
事实上,文字记录仍然比较重要些
总结

The author believes the video camera provides an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life, what is more, he also compare the video with written records and get a result that the frontier plays a more important part in today's documentation nominal.[我觉得写议论文最好就一个问题展开论述,这个不是argument所以还是不要出现the author?你感觉呢] I do not deny the exactitude brought by video camera, while I still support the written records has a higher status. And I believe words sometime may be [感觉你的观点不是很明确哦,最好不要may be?]more important than figurers.

For one thing, the developing technology, especially in video field, helps us get records swiftly and clearly. The video camera always gives people direct feelings, for it usually let the scene reappear. People enjoy this way of recording, because it is simple, quickly and convenient. In addition, generally speaking, [有这种用吗?]pictures do not have as abstruse significance as words, what is great for entertainment. So people are excited to use it recording lives and take it foe a succinct matter. Writing is certainly not like taking pictures, for it needs more time. And some of us deem the abstractness of literature of words is something hard to be controlled. Considering of such complications, written records indeed have some weakness.[最好给出一些实例来,这样认证比较有效?你这段是在用反驳的写法吗?]

However[如果上一段是先承认video camera的好处后反驳它的话,这里就不应用转折了啊,这样观点比较乱了啊], accurate and convincing are not the only factors of a form of documentation, though they are really of great importance. Why do the recorded history and lives affect us and move us? Taking that into account, the profound thoughts and universally applicable can not be neglected. Most people are taught to read books especially masterpieces when they are youth, and they are attracted by the words and meanings of it. That is one cause for the widely use of written records. In spite of that, though the figures provided by cameras are precise, people may not understand the meaning without interpretation. Even the best picture would not come to front without confidant. As for words, there is not any such problem, for the same parlance only has the similar connotation. So far as we know, the possibly of misconstrue and misconceive of that is very small.

In fact, written records is still more important than video camera as a form of documentation. Firstly, although camera is a handy material, there still are many people do not have one yet. If we only consider the people who have one, they may have the idea that it is important to them. But when we take the whole world as an example, lots of areas are still at the bottom. In those areas, which compose the majority of the world, writing is not only a convenient method, nut also a cheap and only available way. Secondly, even if the video camera becomes prevalence in the world, the ancient records are still those written ones, which could never be recorded as accurate as today's things for camera. Finally, the history of words gives it solid foundation in documentation.

In conclusion, there are many kinds of methods of recording nowadays, video camera is of cause a newly and effective method which is quickly spreading all over the world and writing is still at the top of the documentation kingdom for its deeply notions and characteristics. The comparing is complex and none of us could obtain the conclusion that video is more important without any believable evidence.

[我觉得你的这个文章的观点一开始就不是很明朗,到底是支持video还是支持written records?还是认为它们同等重要?还是其它的?在之后的认证中,由于观点不明确,论证也不是很充分,基本都是在说理没有给出实例。我觉得你要好好改下才好:B  ]

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发表于 2007-2-19 21:28:00 |显示全部楼层

回复 #2 cccc_magicboy 的帖子

谢谢啊~
这篇ISSUE的话我觉得关键在于比较上面,所以我是想写让步的,可能写得不是很清晰吧。
我认为Video的确是在便捷程度上稍胜Written Records,但是并不能就此认为它已经成为一种更为重要的记录方法了。承认前一个分句,但是对后一个分句表示怀疑。不知道这种思路是不是有问题哈。
你说的论据的问题我也觉得是,写的时候的确没有想到很多的论证例子,以后还要多加积累呀,呵呵。
辛苦啦:)
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发表于 2007-2-19 21:38:07 |显示全部楼层
有的时候,我觉得不是心里想的是什么就要写什么的,因为这个是考试,有时候要迎合考试来作答,也就是说怎么好写怎么写,不是我觉得什么对就写什么,这个我也是说别人说的
你说的那个同意前半句,反后半句,我感觉我是写不太好的,不好把握尺寸。不如就问题的一点,利用问题中的一些信息提出自己的看法并论证,我也不知道我这样写对不对

[ 本帖最后由 cccc_magicboy 于 2007-2-19 21:44 编辑 ]

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发表于 2007-2-20 11:53:00 |显示全部楼层

回复 #4 cccc_magicboy 的帖子

恩 我昨天又想了一下 看了一下你的修改 觉得的确存在很多的问题
一个是意思没有表达清楚,另外是没有运用有效的例证
我想这样改一下,我还是写让步,但是杂七杂八的东西不要讲太多,重点放在讲述Written的好处和重要性上面。这几天我会抽时间改一下,到时候改好了再请你帮我简单的看看——如果有时间的话,是不是好一些。
谢谢~~
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RE: Issue7【flying小组】第二次作业 [修改]

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