Argument53 [小鸡快跑]

yyyangziUID: 2244126

In this argument, the writer shows several cases to prove that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and even this shyness continues into later life. But I think between these cases and the conclusion is not causal relationship at all.
First, the author said that more melatonin cause the infant showed signs of mild distress, but he can not improve it. He fails to tell us that other infants’ performance when they faced different situations. It may be a normal reflection on a infant. Or different infant has a different performance, he just know several obvious one. Although the infant has showed signs of mild distress, I can not get the conclusion that these infant have more melatonin than any other one, with the hypothesis the infants to have been conceived in early autumn.
Second, the argument is the unfounded causal relationship between signs of mild stress and shyness. The author show a survey for consisting his view that more than half of these children-now teenagers-who dad shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Meanwhile he mentions nothing about the relationship between signs of mild stress and shyness, he leave few words about their causal relationship, so we must opinion that these two cases are totally independent.
Third, the survey says that half of these children identified themselves as shy. The author arbitrary mentions shyness is cause by more melatonin, all know that there are kinds of reasons cause person shy, such as living condition, parents’ attitude and so on. The survey is useless. Also the argument first only give us 25 samples, mentioned nothing about where the sample from, why these 25 samples can present the whole thing.
In summary, the writer has nothing strong ideas to make me convinced his view, he should add something more believable.

第一篇A 大家帮忙看看，先谢了

ASKFORTROUBLEUID: 2284103

今天很晕，晚上给你改，但是看起来字数不多啊

ASKFORTROUBLEUID: 2284103

In this argument, the writer shows several cases to prove that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and even（没必要加这个吧） this shyness continues into later life. But I think between these cases and the conclusion is not causal relationship at all.（But I think there is no causal relationship between these cases and the conclusion at all）
First, the author said that more melatonin cause the infant showed signs of mild distress, but he can not improve it. He fails to tell us that other infants’ performance when they faced different situations. It may be a normal reflection on a(an) infant. Or different infant has a different performance(s), he just know several obvious one(ones). Although the infant has showed signs of mild distress, I can not get the conclusion that these infant have more melatonin than any other one, with the hypothesis the infants to have been conceived in early autumn.
首先，ARGU里说的是一组婴儿，你的第一段里只有一个婴儿。different infant has a different performance这句话对论证没什么帮助，因为没有深入讨论一下，最后一句的前半句，不是infant有melatonin，而是母亲，这里容易让人认为没有理解提议Second, the argument is the unfounded causal relationship between signs of mild stress and shyness. The author show a survey for consisting his view that more than half of these children-now teenagers-who dad(had) shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Meanwhile he mentions nothing about the relationship between signs of mild stress and shyness, he leave few words about their causal relationship, so we must opinion that these two cases are totally independent.
这一段你要讲shyness 和 distress无关吧，我也是这样想的:) 但是这貌似不是causal relationship吧
Third, the survey says(shows 拟人了) that half of these children identified themselves as shy. The author arbitrary(arbitrarily) mentions shyness is cause by more melatonin, all know that there are (many) kinds of reasons cause person shy, such as living condition, parents’ attitude and so on. The survey is useless（有点狠）. Also the argument first（involves） only give us 25 samples, mentioned nothing about where the sample from, why (whether)these 25 samples can present the whole thing.
这段不错，语言再组织一下
In summary, the writer has nothing strong ideas to make me convinced his view, he should add something more believable.

字数太少了吧...
还有很多别的可以批驳的地方 褪黑素的增加影响的母亲不是婴儿，影响大脑功能也不一定让人紧张，早秋的时候分泌别的东西