issue159 4月作文小组3月26日第二次作业 by寂寞樱花

寂寞樱花UID：2306511

TOPIC: ISSUE159 - "The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds."
WORDS: 473          TIME: 1:47:39          DATE: 2007-3-26

提纲：1、开头：同意作者观点。
         2、目前科技的发展使得机器的效率非常之高，在一些方面来说机器是比人要来的“优越”。如促进生产、方便生活和科学研究方面。
         3、机器必须依赖于人的控制和命令，且其本身无创造力，所有机器都是人类思维的结果。
         4、此外，人类富有感情善于思考，辨别善恶，这些都是机器所做不到的。
         5、总结：人类智慧高于机器，但是不可滥用。

In this era of rapid technological change leading to a mechanized life and many people may worry about that machines may dominate the world instead of human one day, but in my opinion, machines are things that created by human mind, and it will never be superior to human mind for they are only facilities serving for us.
    Admittedly, machines today are very efficiently because of the rapid development of technology, and they also have great functions in a lot of aspects in our lives. Although it is true that machines can accomplish many works that our human cannot achieve, or, surely, they can do many things better than human being, for example, automatization enhances the efficiency of production in factories, air-conditioners and refrigerators make our lives more convenient and comfortable, and hubble telescope, spaceships and some other machines such as American Mars probe machine---"Courage" all make a great progress in our outer space researches which will benefit to all human beings, machines are only tools produced by human beings. So this kind of so-called 'superior' is not the real superior as we are talking about.
    Why, you may wonder, machines are not superior to human? In the first place, machine running must depend on the orders or commands which designed and imput by human, or machines will only be a stack of iron and can do nothing for us. Moreover human is the commander of machines, we designing it, then producing it, and then using it for ourselves. Machines are working following our minds, even if in some aspects just like memorizing and computing they may do better than us. Most significant of all, in terms of creation, machines can never surpass human intelligence, for it is illogical that 'stupid' human minds can create 'clever' machines. Machines have no creativity, and they cannot create a more mightiness machine by themselves, and as the same they cannot do any ingenious works like invention or compose. Until now, none of the machines is produced without human intelligence. No matter how precise the machines are, regardless as airplanes which make our journey more expedite or Mars probe machine which stand for a milestone on exploring of outer space, they all are production of human minds.
    In the second place, human beings are emotional creature; we excel in questioning and reasoning. We have minds. We can think by ourselves. We have the conscious of right or wrong. We can communicate with each other with emotion. All those like independent thought, subjective judgment, emotional response that machines can never accomplish. Or, up till now, the notion of human-made machine that develop the ability to think on their own and to develop so-called 'emotional intelligence' has been pure fiction. So machines will never superior to human minds for this aspect of reasons too.
    As has been noted, human mind will always be superior to machines, but human beings should guard against the abuse of advanced technology and see to it that machines are created to serve human welfare. We should use machines properly but not for damaging or depredating, or we will get our nemesis even if our human mind is superior to machines.

[ 本帖最后由 寂寞樱花 于 2007-3-26 21:15 编辑 ]

oceanusUID：2283238

In this era of rapid technological change leading to a mechanized life and many people may worry about that machines may dominate the world instead of human one day（改为In this era of rapid technological change ,leading to a mechanized life, many people may worry about that machines may dominate the world instead of human one day）, but in my opinion, machines are things that created by human mind, and it will never be superior to human mind for they are only facilities serving for us.

Admittedly, machines today are very efficiently（改为efficient） because of the rapid development of technology, and they also have great functions in a lot of aspects in our lives. Although it is true that machines can accomplish many works that our human cannot achieve, or, surely, they can do many things better than human being, for example, automatization enhances the efficiency of production in factories, air-conditioners and refrigerators make our lives more convenient and comfortable, and Hubble telescope, spaceships and some other machines such as American Mars probe machine---"Courage" all make a great progress in our outer space researches which will benefit to all human beings, machines are only tools produced by human beings. So this kind of so-called 'superior' is not the real superior as we are talking about.

Why, you may wonder, machines are not superior to human? In the first place, machine running must depend on the orders or commands which designed and imput(input) by human, or machines will only be a stack of iron and can do nothing for us. Moreover human is the commander of machines, we designing it, then producing it,(we design it, then product it) and then using it for ourselves(then use it for ourselves). Machines are working following our minds, even if in some aspects just like memorizing and computing they may do better than us. Most significant of all, in terms of creation, machines can never surpass human intelligence, for it is illogical that 'stupid' human minds can create 'clever' machines. Machines have no creativity, and they cannot create a more mightiness machine by themselves, and as the same they cannot do any ingenious works like invention or compose. Until now, none of the machines is produced without human intelligence. No matter how precise the machines are, regardless as airplanes which make our journey more expedite or Mars probe machine which stand for a milestone on exploring of outer space, they all are production of human minds.

In the second place, human beings are emotional creature; we excel in questioning and reasoning. We have minds. We can think by ourselves. We have the conscious of right or wrong. We can communicate with each other with emotion. All those like independent thought, subjective judgment, emotional response that machines can never accomplish.( All those like independent thoughts, subjective judgments, emotional responses , machines can never accomplish.) Or, up till now, the notion of human-made machine that develop the ability to think on their own and to develop so-called 'emotional intelligence' has been pure fiction. So machines will never superior to human minds for this aspect of reasons too.

As has(改为have,不确定) been noted, human mind will always be superior to machines, but human beings should guard against the abuse of advanced technology and see to it that machines are created to serve human welfare. We should use machines properly but not for damaging or depredating, or we will get our nemesis even if our human minds is（改为are） superior to machines.

文章例证很好，但语法明显的错误不少，其他的我也不太好说，issue才练了两篇，加油。

pishengUID：2169170

提纲：1、开头：同意作者观点。
         2、目前科技的发展使得机器的效率非常之高，在一些方面来说机器是比人要来的“优越”。如促进生产、方便生活和科学研究方面。
         3、机器必须依赖于人的控制和命令，且其本身无创造力，所有机器都是人类思维的结果。
         4、此外，人类富有感情善于思考，辨别善恶，这些都是机器所做不到的。
         5、总结：人类智慧高于机器，但是不可滥用。

In this era of rapid technological change leading to a mechanized life and many people may worry about that machines may dominate the world instead of human one day, but in my opinion, machines are things that created by human mind（cut）, and it will never be superior to human mind for they are only facilities serving for us.
    Admittedly, machines today are very efficiently because of the rapid development of technology, and they also have great functions in a lot of aspects in our lives. Although it is true that machines can accomplish many works that our human cannot achieve, or, surely, they can do many things better than human being, for example, automatization enhances(改为raise,效率是提高的，而不是增强的) the efficiency of production in factories, air-conditioners and refrigerators make our lives more convenient and comfortable, and hubble（Hubble） telescope, spaceships and some other machines such as American Mars probe machine---"Courage" all make a great progress in our outer space researches which will benefit to all human beings, machines are only tools produced by human beings. So this kind of so-called 'superior' is not the real superior as we are talking about.
    Why, you may wonder, machines are not superior to human?(吸引读者，好) In the first place, machine running must depend on the orders or commands which designed and imput by human, or(个人建议最好用otherwise,虽然意思完全相同，但是可以明显的区别出用法，比如前面所有的or都是”或者”的意思。) machines will only be a stack of iron and（which） can do nothing for us. Moreover human is the commander of machines, (and) we designing it, then producing it, and then using it for ourselves. Machines are working following(according to ) our minds, even if in some aspects just(cut) like memorizing and computing they may do better than us. Most significant of all, in terms of creation, machines can never surpass human intelligence, for it is illogical that 'stupid' human minds can create 'clever' machines. Machines have no creativity, and they cannot create a more mightiness machine by themselves, and as the same they cannot do any ingenious works like invention or compose. Until now, none of the machines is produced without human intelligence. No matter how precise the machines are, regardless as airplanes which make our journey more expedite or Mars probe machine which stand for a milestone on exploring of outer space, they all are production of human minds.
    In the second place, human beings are emotional creature; we excel（精彩！） in questioning and reasoning. We have minds. We can think by ourselves. We have the conscious of right or wrong. We can communicate with each other with emotion.（排比很好！可以考虑能不能更对称的写进一句话里） All those like independent thought, subjective judgment, emotional response that machines can never accomplish. Or, up till now, the notion of human-made machine that develop the ability to think on their own and to develop so-called 'emotional intelligence' has been pure fiction. So machines will never superior to human minds for this aspect of reasons too.
    As has been noted, human mind will always be superior to machines, but human beings should guard against the abuse of advanced technology and see to it that machines are created to serve human welfare. We should use machines properly but not for damaging or depredating, or we will get our nemesis even if our human mind is superior to machines.


感觉你issue比argu好，跟一般人不同哦~
看来果然不是一般人的：）论证不错，举证也可以，建议可以试着再找些具体的事例，或许效果可以更好。
再就是如何精确表达句意。这点我做的也不好。一起加油共同提高吧。

[ 本帖最后由 pisheng 于 2007-3-27 16:31 编辑 ]