issue36

speaklessUID：2205899

36"The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."(589)

Can the greatness of individuals be decided only by those who live after them, rather than by their contemporaries? I support the speakers standpoint concerning that time is the best reliable things to testify every person and events in the history. The offspring can stand at a higher place in the proceeding of human’ development, so their judgments on the predecessors are more objective and well-rounded than the contemporaries’.

On one hand, the later generations can give these individuals a more accurate and thorough judgment if though their contemporaries have offered a relative correct one. Some famous individuals can receive honor and respect when they reach the peak, because their brilliance and excellent performance bring significant and sweeping influence on many fields such as science, arts, literature, and history. With these obvious and overwhelming accomplishments, people in their ages were more likely to incline to praise and follow them with little critical thinking. One outstanding example is Andrew Carnegia, the prime founder of Carnegia Steel Company. The tremendous wealth won by his successful business operations also made his contemporaries regarded him as magnate and one of the most successful person. However, now people all know that he commited some illegal operations and sustained a policy of monopoly which greatly impede functioning of free competition.  So it seems that his glory image has been put shame on by his descendants who is more objective.  

In contrary, if some people do something wrong, the bad image would also make their contemporaries rule out all of their contributions, even some of which are significant and beneficial. for another example, the researcher who were eager to invent perpetual machines, were always regarded as pure idealists and daydreamer, because they made an elementary false on principles of physics. However, it is not until recently, people find out that the ‘ideal’ and unpractical trials are contributing a lot to the following manufacture of machines. As a result, the greatness of individuals can be judged more objectively over time by followers whose analysis and revaluation are on the basis of more evidences given by time.

On the other hand, in some other circumstances, it is really true to posit that the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries. This phenomena feature the restriction of age which give rise to the misunderstanding and suspicion on these excellent elites who are out of steps in their age. One of the most outstanding examples is Van Gogh, who invented another art school called ‘Abstract art’. However, people around him cannot accept his ideas and style, and paid little attention to this genius artist who led a meager and tragic life. And how can those people in his age believe that one of the deserted and ‘abnormal’ painter’s works, <The boy with a pipe>, has been sold as high as $104 million? In addition, there are still many examples such as Galileo, Bruno, Copernicus, many of which were suspected, humiliated, and even prosecuted by their contemporaries. Perhaps their genius and inspiration entirely exceed the contemporary and dominating idea and principles, which means it is too hard for them to be acknowledged.

Luckily in our modern society, democracy and the right of free speech make new ideas bear the heavy burden no more. Scientists can propose new theory and hypothesis, just like dinosaurs were covered with feathers rather than scales; the universe began with a big bang, and now is keeping expanding all the times. We have no adequate evidence to prove them right or not, and all of these questions will be passed down to our offspring who can identify the validity of the findings, accompanied with their inventors.





[ 本帖最后由 speakless 于 2007-4-18 21:54 编辑 ]

speaklessUID：2205899

QQBB尽管拍吧.....不要手下留情~~~~
这篇也是我以前写的..最近一直在整理...发现自己写的东西真得质量很低,什么错误都有....郁闷ing....
sign...
这篇我改过后感觉结构上不是那么传统..特别是最后一段..不知道这样结尾你感觉如何?
因为当时突然想到这么结尾,所以就写上去了....
不过考试...可能还是要加一段在最后,你说呢?

iq28UID：2152875

Can the greatness of individuals be decided only by those who live after them, rather than by their contemporaries? I support the speakers standpoint concerning that time is the best reliable things to testify every person and events in the history. The offspring can stand at a higher place in the proceeding of human’ development, so their judgments on the predecessors are more objective and well-rounded than the contemporaries’. (不错)

On one hand, the later generations can give these individuals a more accurate and thorough judgment if though their contemporaries have offered a relative correct one. (你的意思是更进一步的精确性与全面性么?) Some famous individuals can receive honor and respect when they reach the peak, because their brilliance and excellent performance bring significant and sweeping influence on many fields such as science, arts, literature, and history. (这句话等于没说.题目论证的重点是杰出人物被认识的时间问题) With these obvious and overwhelming accomplishments, people in their ages were more likely to incline to praise and follow them with little critical thinking. (伏笔做得还是不够) One outstanding example is Andrew Carnegia, the prime founder of Carnegia Steel Company. The tremendous wealth won by his successful business operations also made his contemporaries regarded him as magnate and one of the most successful person. (废话说了这么多,终于要看见however了.) However, now people all know that he commited some illegal operations and sustained a policy of monopoly which greatly impede functioning of free competition. (一个支持论点的论据,然后后面的论证也没有出现直接就结尾了) So it seems that his glory image has been put shame on by his descendants who is more objective. (accurate的认识和认识greatness还是又差别的)

In contrary, if some people do something wrong, the bad image would also make their contemporaries rule out all of their contributions, even some of which are significant and beneficial. (矛盾?)(看了下面的论证才发现你的ts叙述很不准确) for another example, the researcher who were eager to invent perpetual machines, were always regarded as pure idealists and daydreamer, because they made an elementary false on principles of physics. However, it is not until recently, people find out that the ‘ideal’ and unpractical trials are contributing a lot to the following manufacture of machines. As a result, the greatness of individuals (这段论述的人群的事迹不是greatnees of individual的典型.个人看法) can be judged more objectively over time by followers whose analysis and revaluation are on the basis of more evidences given by time. (更加偏向于追寻某个东西的途中学习到别的东西.至于为什么)

On the other hand, in some other circumstances, it is really true to posit that the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries. (你前面不就是同意作者的观念了么?这里干嘛有来一个on the other hand呢?) This phenomena feature the restriction of age which give rise to the misunderstanding and suspicion on these excellent elites who are out of steps in their age. One of the most outstanding examples is Van Gogh, who invented another art school called ‘Abstract art’. However, people around him cannot accept his ideas and style, and paid little attention to this genius artist who led a meager and tragic life. And how can those people in his age believe that one of the deserted and ‘abnormal’ painter’s works, <The boy with a pipe>, has been sold as high as $104 million? In addition, there are still many examples such as Galileo, Bruno, Copernicus, many of which were suspected, humiliated, and even prosecuted by their contemporaries. Perhaps their genius and inspiration entirely exceed the contemporary and dominating idea and principles, which means it is too hard for them to be acknowledged. (这一段算是堂堂正正开始支持了自己首段的论点.当然内部结构和前面一样,例子太罗唆,论证太少)

Luckily in our modern society, democracy and the right of free speech make new ideas bear the heavy burden no more. Scientists can propose new theory and hypothesis, just like dinosaurs were covered with feathers rather than scales; the universe began with a big bang, and now is keeping expanding all the times. We have no adequate evidence to prove them right or not, and all of these questions will be passed down to our offspring who can identify the validity of the findings, accompanied with their inventors.

鉴于是很久以前的习作,而且你自己也能看出很多问题
改得就很粗略了
前两个body的ts感觉问题比较大