Argument140 【0710G 五一互助小组】第二次作业 by 独孤求败

tengda89757UID: 2327455

第二篇argument， 字数：496， 时间：0：50  欢迎拍砖



In this argument, the author shows that Professor Thomas has received a $10,000 raise in salary and a promotion to Department Chairperson because her outstanding performance both in lectures and in the authority in research. Then, the writer asserts that she will defect the current university unless the advantages offered. In my view, nonetheless, the statement is plausible, but there still exists inconvincible factors in the logical induction, which will be discussed later.

To begin with, the speaker has provided a false causality of the demonstration of Professor Thomas's popularity among students. Her popularity will not go in proportion as how large the classes are, even though the number of students participating the lectures are extraordinarily high. What if her class is one of the fundamental disciplines that everyone in Biology subject has to take part in? The phenomenon that the larger the class is, the stronger aversion will be showed among students is prevailing all over the world. Only through surveys can the popularity of teachers demonstrated justifiably. Consequently, the assertion of degree of popularity is at stake.

Secondly, in a not contrarily way, the money recently introduced can never be a prediction of the sum brought in in the future. Yet the amount of money will not represent the ability in research, but can show her eloquence in persuading leaders to make their investment. The belief is shared among the field of academy that only through the achievement of research can the degree of prominence illustrated. On the other hand, whether she can make full use of the money to do her utmost to achieve her goals is another question. In turn the author should enumerate the achievement and show the potency of Professor Thomas to convince readers that she is indeed qualified to receive the promotion both in salary and in occupation.

Last but not least, the saying is ironically used to point out that the defection of Professor Thomas is a must-be, unless the promotion is given. Even through the raise and promotion are offered, no evidence that other universities will not provide a more decent wage and a better occupation can be indicated. And if the willpower of her is strong enough, nothing can stop her from leaving. What is more ridiculous is that leaders pay ignorance to the loyalty of the facults, which, to some extent, is more paramount than the amount of money brought in and the popularity of lecturers. Otherwise, such kind of statement will bring forth the complaint of staffs around university. To sum up, the statement is also irrational.

In conclusion, the argument is a not well-reasoned one, although some of the statements seems logical. What's more, I suggest that the leaders of Elm City University should think twice before resolving to offer a certain teacher promotion in occupation and raise in salary, at least taking into consideration whether he or she is truly qualified of that, and whether their decision is also convincible among other teachers.


Any help is appreciated!!!!

ruczephyrUID: 2181202

In this argument, the author shows that Professor Thomas has received a $10,000 raise in salary and a promotion to Department Chairperson because her outstanding performance both in lectures and in the authority in research改写的不够一致. Then, the writer asserts that she will defect the current university unless the advantages offered. In my view, nonetheless, the statement is plausible, but there still exists inconvincible factors in the logical induction, which will be discussed later.开头段这句就算了吧

To begin with, the speaker has provided a false causality of the demonstration of Professor Thomas's popularity among students. Her popularity will not go in proportion as how large the classes are, even though the number of students participating the lectures are extraordinarily high. What if her class is one of the fundamental disciplines that everyone in Biology这个从哪冒出来的? subject has to take part in? The phenomenon that the larger the class is, the stronger aversion will be showed among students is prevailing all over the world.这句话不是很有道理吧,而且读起来也有点别扭. Only through surveys can the popularity of teachers demonstrated justifiably. Consequently, the assertion of degree of popularity is at stake.

Secondly, in a not contrarily way, the money recently introduced can never be a prediction of the sum brought in in the future. Yet the amount of money will not represent the ability in research, but can show her eloquence in persuading leaders to make their investment. The belief is shared among the field of academy that only through the achievement of research can the degree of prominence illustrated.不一定非要刻意追求长难句,说的晦涩了对方看起来也麻烦. On the other hand, whether she can make full use of the money to do her utmost to achieve her goals is another question. In turn the author should enumerate the achievement and show the potency of Professor Thomas to convince readers that she is indeed qualified to receive the promotion both in salary and in occupation.TS又有问题,不能总领整段,结尾句扣也完全扣不上.

Last but not least, the saying is ironically used to point out that the defection of Professor Thomas is a must-be, unless the promotion is given.到底都没有看懂这句要表达什么意思,难道我的阅读能力又下降了? Even through the raise and promotion are offered, no evidence that other universities will not provide a more decent wage and a better occupation can be indicated. And if the willpower of her is strong enough, nothing can stop her from leaving. What is more ridiculous is that leaders pay ignorance to the loyalty of the facults, which, to some extent, 语法is more paramount than the amount of money brought in and the popularity of lecturers. Otherwise, such kind of statement will bring forth the complaint of staffs around university. To sum up, the statement is also irrational.总结的哪些东西,这样一句太模糊了吧.这一段感觉太晦涩,而且没有看出来比较明显的逻辑关系.

In conclusion, the argument is a not well-reasoned one, although some of the statements seems logical. What's more, I suggest that the leaders of Elm City University should think twice before resolving to offer a certain teacher promotion in occupation and raise in salary, at least taking into consideration whether he or she is truly qualified of that, and whether their decision is also convincible among other teachers.

感觉比上一篇有不小的进步,不过写AW并不是向老外展示自己长难句的水平,全用GRE词汇,套3.4层从句,老外看起来都会很头疼,AW注重的是逻辑和思路,长难句是老外考我们的,写的自然流畅是最好的.

为了忘记UID: 2317994

In this argument, the author shows that Professor Thomas has received 文中的意思是说recommend加薪和升职吧？那不应该理解为has done吧？a $10,000 raise in salary and a promotion to Department Chairperson because her outstanding performance both in lectures and in the authority in research. Then, the writer asserts that she will defect the current university unless the advantages offered. In my view, nonetheless, the statement is plausible, but there still exists inconvincible factors in the logical induction, which will be discussed later.

To begin with, the speaker has provided a false causality of the demonstration of Professor Thomas's popularity among students. Her popularity will not go in proportion as how large the classes are, even though the number of students participating the lectures areis extraordinarily high. What if her class is one of the fundamental disciplines that everyone in Biology文中说的是botany subject has to take part in? The phenomenon that the larger the class is, the stronger aversion will be showed among students is prevailing all over the world.没看懂这句话 Only through surveys can the popularity of teachers demonstrated justifiably. Consequently, the assertion of degree of popularity is at stake.

Secondly, in a not contrarily way, the money recently introduced can never be a prediction of the sum brought in in the future.没看懂。。。 Yet the amount of money will not represent the ability in research, but can show her eloquence in persuading leaders to make their investment. The belief is shared among the field of academy that only through the achievement of research can the degree of prominence illustrated. On the other hand, whether she can make full use of the money to do her utmost to achieve her goals is another question. In turn the author should enumerate the achievement and show the potency of Professor Thomas to convince readers that she is indeed qualified to receive the promotion both in salary and in occupation.

Last but not least, the saying is ironically used to point out that the defection of Professor Thomas is a must-be, unless the promotion is given. Even through the raise and promotion are offered, no evidence that other universities will not provide a more decent wage and a better occupation can be indicated. And if the willpower of her is strong enough, nothing can stop her from leaving. What is more ridiculous is that leaders pay ignorance to the loyalty of the facults, which, to some extent, is more paramount than the amount of money brought in and the popularity of lecturers. Otherwise, such kind of statement will bring forth the complaint of staffs around university. To sum up, the statement is also irrational.

In conclusion, the argument is a not well-reasoned one, although some of the statements seems复数 logical. What's more, I suggest that the leaders of Elm City University should think twice before resolving to offer a certain teacher promotion in occupation and raise in salary, at least taking into consideration whether he or she is truly qualified of that, and whether their decision is also convincible among other teachers.
有些句子好像写的表达意思不明，让人有些看不懂。加油！

[ 本帖最后由 为了忘记 于 2007-5-26 23:00 编辑 ]