argument2 五一互助小组三次作业 by孤独求败

gluttonUID: 2330210

WORDS: 413          TIME: 00:59:37          DATE: 2007-5-30 19:05:03
In this argument, the author asserts that the community in Deerhaven Acres  follows the successful model of Brookville community in order to raise the average property value. In my view, however, although well-organized, that assertion suffers from several vital fallacies through in-depth scrutiny.

To begin with, it is presumptuous to ascribe the tripled value of the restrictions to merely landscape and housepaint. There might be some other factors bringing about the raise in property. Firstly, government might provided some opportunities to instigate the economical growth which in turn stimulates the  commercialization of Brookville. Furthermore, Brookville might hold several advantages of its natural landscape, and through the development it has became one of the most attractive scenes on earth. As a result, the tourism brought about the raise in value of property. Consequently, assertions like that can not be easily credited without deeper survey or persuasive research of the reason.

Secondly, seven years is a period long enough for people to alter their appreciation of styles of living. With such long period elapsed, one can see a thoroughly distinguished world: a great change take place in people's convention of dress, food, attitude toward life, and so forth, let alone the attitude toward landscape and style of housepaint. Perhaps they are old-fashioned already. Only resorting to housepaint and development of scenes of course can not content the modern people .In addition, no one can asserts a bright future even more appealing charaters are presented because of the rapid change in taste. In turn, leaders of Dearhaven Acres community must not merely focus on several means to produce a larger amount of fortune.

Last but not least, no one can promise a success in raise of the value only through copying invariably the model of Brookville even if the taste of the masses remains unchanged. After the achievement of Brookville community, there must be other similar communities, which made utter use of their advantages as well as the model of Brookville community. Consequently, if only copying rigidly the example, Deerhaven Acres might have tendency to lose in the competition. At this point, I suggest that the leaders should learn other successful models and combines them, taking into consideration the benefits of their own. Only through this can the community achieve its goals.

In conclusion, this argument is not rational at all. There are much more factors to be considered when making a decision. In addition, I advise that leaders of Deerhaven Acres think twice in the judgment of this letter.

[ 本帖最后由 glutton 于 2007-6-1 23:11 编辑 ]

tengda89757UID: 2327455

谢谢帮忙发帖，不过好像字体调的有点小，还有行间帮我空一行，哈哈

gluttonUID: 2330210

In this argument, the author asserts that the community in Deerhaven Acres  follows the successful model of Brookville community in order to raise the average property value. In my view, however, although well-organized, that assertion suffers from several vital fallacies through in-depth scrutiny.

To begin with, it is presumptuous to ascribe the tripled value of the restrictions to merely landscape and housepaint. There might be some other factors bringing about the raise in property. Firstly, government might provided some opportunities to instigate the economical growth which in turn stimulates the  commercialization of Brookville. Furthermore, Brookville might hold several advantages of its natural landscape, and through the development it has became one of the most attractive scenes on earth. As a result, the tourism brought about the raise in value of property. Consequently, assertions like that can not be easily credited without deeper survey or persuasive research of the reason.

Secondly, seven years is a period long enough for people to alter their appreciation of styles of living. （这个错误我没找到，学习）With such long period elapsed, one can see a thoroughly distinguished world: a great change take place in people's convention of dress, food, attitude toward life, and so forth, let alone the attitude toward landscape and style of housepaint. Perhaps they are old-fashioned already. Only resorting to housepaint and development of scenes of course can not content the modern people .In addition, no one can asserts a bright future even more appealing charaters are presented because of the rapid change in taste. In turn, leaders of Dearhaven Acres community must not merely focus on several means to produce a larger amount of fortune.

Last but not least, no one can promise a success in raise of the value only through copying invariably the model of Brookville even if the taste of the masses remains unchanged. After the achievement of Brookville community, there must be other similar communities, which made utter use of their advantages as well as the model of Brookville community. Consequently, if only copying rigidly the example, Deerhaven Acres might have tendency to lose in the competition.（觉得这里要展开一点比较好，两个地方为什么不能类比的原因具体是什么呢？体现在那些方面呢？这样才会更有说服力一些，单单说几句不能类比说服力不强） At this point, I suggest that the leaders should learn other successful models and combines them, taking into consideration the benefits of their own. Only through this can the community achieve its goals.

In conclusion, this argument is not rational at all. There are much more factors to be considered when making a decision. In addition, I advise that leaders of Deerhaven Acres think twice in the judgment of this letter.
总体不错，自己感觉要改的地方不是很多，有很多值得我学习的地方