第5次发作文……恳请高人改改……

sanmuyi3868111UID: 2332555

每次都备受打击……但是只有发现缺点才能进步……69 考试……高人指点……
can difficult  expriences become valuable lessons?
Sometimes the pleasant experience enable us encounter unpredictable problems, however, sometimes the difficult experience make us resolve extremely complex questions easily. Therefore, I agree that most experiences seemed difficult in our lives may become valuable lessons for the future.
     One chief reason is that the difficult experiences enhance a person’s ability to resolve problems. For the reason that a person must try his/her best to think out the approaches to the problem when he/she is in trouble. And among many means, he/she has to select the best one. Besides this, it also requires the person to act as soon as possible in a certain time. Thus, he /she will deal with the similar case easily if it happens anymore. Consequently, there is no doubt that the person acquires a valuable lesson which improves the ability to dispose troubles during the process.
    The second one, difficult experiences strongly make a person more firm and optimistic. In this sense, take me for example, I have never forgot what had happened in the last sports, I was selected to represent our department to take part in jumping, but unfortunately, Ｉwas hurt when preparing for the competition. However, I finished the competition with extremely paining And during the process of jumping, I constantly told me: “I believe I can win”. With the firm belief and optimistic attitude I defeated other competitors. From this hard experience I learned a lot, which we should face difficulties with firm confidences and passive psychology, we would succeed at last.
      What’s more, people become mature and deliberate after overcoming difficulties. As proverb says: “Adversity makes a man grown-up.” Generally, it demands a man who is in adversity endure pains and tortures which make the man more mature. Also, the man must consider problems more comprehensively and widely in order to defeat them. After undergoing many difficulties, the man will develop into a mature and deliberate person.
       In a nutshell, I support the statement that most experiences in our life as valuable lessons teach us a lot for the future as the reasons mentioned.  

sleepybearUID: 2175257

Sometimes the pleasant experience enable us （凌晨了我脑子也不好用了，不过enable不是应该跟sb to do 么）encounter unpredictable problems, however, sometimes the difficult experience make us resolve extremely complex questions easily. 我真的看糊涂了。。。开心的经历让我们能解决不可预测的问题，困难的经历让我们能轻松解决极端复杂的问题。LZ我觉得这个话逻辑上是很有问题的哈。Extremely是非常极端的。Therefore, I agree that most experiences seemed difficult in our lives may become valuable lessons for the future.
     One chief reason is that the（删掉the） difficult experiences enhance a person’s ability to resolve problems. For the reason that a person must try his/her best to think out the approaches to the problem when he/she is in trouble.(回头看下这个句子，这是一句完整的话么？) And among many means, he/she has to select the best one. Besides this（删掉this）, it(指代不明。而且一般写作少用代词) also requires the person to act as soon as possible in a certain time. （这句话和前面的话没有coherence。我注意到你用AND连接了，但是逻辑上的联系不够紧密）Thus, he /she will deal with the similar case easily if it happens anymore（anymore改again）. Consequently, there is no doubt that the person acquires a valuable lesson which improves the ability to dispose(handle, cope with…都可以，dispose不行，查下大字典吧) troubles during the process.
    The second one（secondly, another reason is …都可以，开头一上来就用代词实在是太为难阅卷人了）, difficult experiences strongly（这个用法不对！strongly不能这么用的。。。） make a person more firm and optimistic. In this sense, take me for example, I have never forgot （forget的过去分词？？？）what had happened in the last sports（last sport meeting?）, I was selected to represent our department to take part in (the) jumping(competition), (句号)but unfortunately, Ｉwas hurt when preparing for the competition. However, I finished the competition with extremely paining And during the process of jumping, I constantly （副词不是这么用的）told me: “I believe I can win”. With the firm belief and optimistic attitude I defeated （查下defeat的用法吧，看例句。跳高不是肉搏。。。）other competitors. From this hard experience I learned a lot, which we should face difficulties with firm confidences and passive psychology, we would succeed at last.
      What’s more, people become mature and deliberate after overcoming difficulties. As proverb says:（逗号） “Adversity makes a man grown-up.” Generally, it demands a man who is in adversity endure pains and tortures which make the man more mature. Also, the man must consider problems more comprehensively and widely in order to defeat them. After undergoing many difficulties, the man will develop into a mature and deliberate person.
       In a nutshell, I support the statement that most experiences in our life as valuable lessons teach us a lot for the future as the reasons mentioned.  最后这句不要也罢。。。

说明一下哈．１）半夜起来改的作文，可能会有错．不过我提醒的地方你自己都去查一下吧
２）你用extremely用得太多了，这是非常极端的情况．因为极端，所以不能轻易用，要不然老外会觉得你太夸张，说的都不是实话的感觉
３）我改得有点刻薄，别打击到你哈．我跟你一天考．good　luck！

sleepybearUID: 2175257

Sometimes the pleasant experience enable us （凌晨了我脑子也不好用了，不过enable不是应该跟sb to do 么）encounter unpredictable problems, however, sometimes the difficult experience make us resolve extremely complex questions easily. 我真的看糊涂了。。。开心的经历让我们能解决不可预测的问题，困难的经历让我们能轻松解决极端复杂的问题。LZ我觉得这个话逻辑上是很有问题的哈。Extremely是非常极端的。Therefore, I agree that most experiences seemed difficult in our lives may become valuable lessons for the future.
     One chief reason is that the（删掉the） difficult experiences enhance a person’s ability to resolve problems. For the reason that a person must try his/her best to think out the approaches to the problem when he/she is in trouble.(回头看下这个句子，这是一句完整的话么？) And among many means, he/she has to select the best one. Besides this（删掉this）, it(指代不明。而且一般写作少用代词) also requires the person to act as soon as possible in a certain time. （这句话和前面的话没有coherence。我注意到你用AND连接了，但是逻辑上的联系不够紧密）Thus, he /she will deal with the similar case easily if it happens anymore（anymore改again）. Consequently, there is no doubt that the person acquires a valuable lesson which improves the ability to dispose(handle, cope with…都可以，dispose不行，查下大字典吧) troubles during the process.
    The second one（secondly, another reason is …都可以，开头一上来就用代词实在是太为难阅卷人了）, difficult experiences strongly（这个用法不对！strongly不能这么用的。。。） make a person more firm and optimistic. In this sense, take me for example, I have never forgot （forget的过去分词？？？）what had happened in the last sports（last sport meeting?）, I was selected to represent our department to take part in (the) jumping(competition), (句号)but unfortunately, Ｉwas hurt when preparing for the competition. However, I finished the competition with extremely paining And during the process of jumping, I constantly （副词不是这么用的）told me: “I believe I can win”. With the firm belief and optimistic attitude I defeated （查下defeat的用法吧，看例句。跳高不是肉搏。。。）other competitors. From this hard experience I learned a lot, which we should face difficulties with firm confidences and passive psychology, we would succeed at last.
      What’s more, people become mature and deliberate after overcoming difficulties. As proverb says:（逗号） “Adversity makes a man grown-up.” Generally, it demands a man who is in adversity endure pains and tortures which make the man more mature. Also, the man must consider problems more comprehensively and widely in order to defeat them. After undergoing many difficulties, the man will develop into a mature and deliberate person.
       In a nutshell, I support the statement that most experiences in our life as valuable lessons teach us a lot for the future as the reasons mentioned.  最后这句不要也罢。。。

说明一下哈．１）半夜起来改的作文，可能会有错．不过我提醒的地方你自己都去查一下吧
２）你用extremely用得太多了，这是非常极端的情况．因为极端，所以不能轻易用，要不然老外会觉得你太夸张，说的都不是实话的感觉
３）我改得有点刻薄，别打击到你哈．我跟你一天考．good　luck！