Argument147 [Mettle小组第二次作业]

AndierUID: 2302600

147The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."



The arguer’s view seems to be rational and tenable at first glance. With some survey and analysis the arguer concludes that the sale of Whirlwind Game is likely to increase. However, the reasoning suffers from some fallacies and the conclusion needs to be reexamined.

    First, the arguer claims the sales trend is about to increase, basing on a survey which reveals what is the most important feature in a video game as people think. And this important feature turns out to be the one Whirlwind offers. However, an important feature does not assure the sales of the game. There are many other aspects that the buyers would consider when choosing a game such as the story line of the game, the user-friendly interface, the music of the game, and etc.

    Moreover, as claimed in the statement, such games with high qualities graphics need computers that are up-to-date, which then becomes synonymous as expensive. How many people have access to such computers? How many people would like to buy an up-to-date computer solely for computer games? Will this be a drawback or restriction of this kind of game? These questions need to be answered and could undermine the validity of the reasoning.

    Even if the survey has revealed something true about the preference of players, this result of the survey cannot be applied to the analysis of the sales of the game, since the advertising campaign is directed at people from 10 to 25 years old, while the survey about the preference does not give any information about its samples. If the survey was carried out with another group of people, say 30 to 40 years old, the result could be misleading in the sense that the predilection of different groups of people can vary widely.

     Finally, as a premise, the arguer involuntarily accepts that this preferable kind of game will change the decline of the sales; however, there is no information about the history of the company. Chances are that the company has been making the same kind of game for all the time. And if so, there is no significant difference even considering the survey and the advertising campaign.

     In sum, I would like to believe that the sales trend of Whirlwind Company is likely to increase. But the argument is not persuasive enough. More evidence and more rigorous ratiocination are needed.

[ 本帖最后由 Andier 于 2007-6-10 00:52 编辑 ]

werecatUID: 2289296

The arguer’s view seems to be rational and tenable at first glance. With some survey and analysis the arguer concludes that the sale of Whirlwind Game is likely to increase. However, the reasoning suffers from some fallacies and the conclusion needs to be reexamined.按照几本参考书上的说法，开头段对原文的复述应该更详细一点，现在比较单薄

    First, the arguer claims似乎应该加个that the sales trend is about to increase, basing on a survey which reveals what is the most important feature in a video game as people think.这个从句读上去不太舒服 And this important feature turns out to be the one Whirlwind offers.没提什么feature？ However, an important feature does not assure the sales of the game. There are many other aspects that the buyers would consider when choosing a game such as the story line of the game, the user-friendly interface, the music of the game, and etc.结尾再点一下本段topic

    Moreover, as claimed in the statement, such games with high qualities graphics needrequire computers that are up-to-date, which then becomes synonymous as expensive. How many people have access to such computers? How many people would like to buy an up-to-date computer solely for computer games? Will this be a drawback or restriction of this kind of game? 疑问三连击，不错These questions need to be answered and could undermine the validity of the reasoning.

    Even if the survey has revealed something true about the preference of players, 和上两段关联不够this result of the survey cannot be applied to the analysis of the sales of the game, since the advertising campaign is directed at people from 10 to 25 years old, while the survey about the preference does not give any information about its samples. If the survey was carried out with another group of people, say 30 to 40 years old, the result could be misleading in the sense that the predilection of different groups of people can vary widely. 个人意见，既然调查先被提到，而且是argue的前提，所以应该首先攻击

     Finally, as a premise它的主语是什么？, the arguer involuntarily accepts that this preferable kind of game will change the decline of the sales; however, there is no information about the history of the company. Chances are that the company has been making the same kind of game for不需要for all the time. And if so, there is no significant difference even considering the survey and the advertising campaign.这一点说得不够清楚，公司一直在做的游戏会不会影响新推出的华丽游戏？

     In sum, I would like to believe that the sales trend of Whirlwind Company is likely to increase. But the argument is not persuasive enough. More evidence and more rigorous ratiocination are needed.还是按照几本参考书上的说法，结尾一般应具体指出arguer的不足和改进意见，把四个攻击点复述一下

如果是在规定时间里写出来的，那么可以说完全合格了。攻击点的分析可以更详尽一些，有些用词值得商榷，当然其实我也吃不太准到底怎样比较好。
第一次写作文并改作文，如有不足还望包涵。大家共同进步。