Argument 53 [Victors小组]第9次作业 by gyyx

gyyxUID: 2290150

In this argument, the author states a conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. To support this conclusion, the author points out a thirteen-years-ago research,  which studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. The researchers discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. A close scrunity to this evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to this conclusion.

First of all, the researchers studied 25 infants who showed distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli. It is highly possible that other infants besides conceived in early autumn would show distress when they in the same situation. Even if only the infants conceived in early autumn shows distress, the author couldn’t get the conclusion without showing other infants shy or not when they grow up.

Secondly, not only the mothers pregnant in early autumn have a higher production of melatonin, which is a hormone would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight, but also the mothers who pregnant in the earlier time do. Since perhaps this two infants’ mother both has a high production of melatonin before birth, the author can’t get the conclusion based on this evidence.

Finally, it goes a long way to explain how each factor affects in the character’s building---inheritance is merely a small part. Perhaps other infants whose mother has a low production of melatonin suffer a shyness due to their self-unconfident. Without ruling out what important incidents happened to the infants shy or shyless during last thirteen years, the author couldn’t rely on that a increased levels of melatonin before birth is the mere fact to the shyness.
In summary, the author bases his conclusion on the assumption of the cause-effect relationship between increased levels of melatonin before birth and the shyness the infants showed. To bloster this conclusion, the author should provide (1) statistics about other infants conceived in other time show distress or not in the unfamiliar stimuli; (2) what happened during this thirteen years to all the infants; (3) whether the infants show other character not shyness in common.

baiyu_2005UID: 2255194

In this argument, the author states a conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. To support this conclusion, the author points out a thirteen-years-ago research, which studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. The researchers discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. A close scrunity scrutiny to this evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to this conclusion.

First of all, the researchers studied 25 infants who showed distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli. It is highly possible that other infants besides conceived in early autumn would show distress when they in the same situation. Even if only the infants conceived in early autumn shows distress, the author couldn’t get the conclusion without showing other infants shy or not when they grow up.

Secondly, not only the mothers pregnant 这个是形容词啊in early autumn have a higher production of melatonin, which is a hormone would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight, but also the mothers who pregnant 同上in the earlier time do. Since perhaps this two infants’ mother both has a high production of melatonin before birth, the author can’t get the conclusion based on this evidence.

Finally, it goes a long way to explain how each factor affects in the character’s building---inheritance is merely mere，不要用副词 a small part. Perhaps other infants whose mother has a low production of melatonin suffer a shyness 去掉 a due to their self-unconfident. Without ruling out what important incidents happened to the infants shy or shyless 这个词在瑞星里没有，是不是换一个 during last thirteen years, the author couldn’t rely on that a increased levels of melatonin before birth is the mere fact to the shyness.
In summary, the author bases his conclusion on the assumption of the cause-effect relationship between increased levels of melatonin before birth and the shyness the infants showed. To bloster bolsterthis conclusion, the author should provide (1) statistics about other infants conceived in other time show distress or not in the unfamiliar stimuli; (2) what happened during this thirteen years to all the infants; (3) whether the infants show other character not shyness in common  

开头结尾占的有些多，中间的就少了一些，下次展开充分一些

gyyxUID: 2290150

谢谢
这个A写的超级的烂
感觉特别的没有逻辑
谢谢你哦
我会好好该的