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[i习作temp] Issue41 【victor小组】第9次作业 by gyyx [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-6-9 15:19:59 |显示全部楼层
In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, some people turn to such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and so on for help as this nonmainstream satisfy their needs that are not addressed by mainstream science. For them, this nonmainstream areas are vital in society, but for me, this nonmainstream areas are only entertainment in our life, which will do harm to us in long run.

First of all, those nonmianstream areas of inquiry can make a person losing the right to make a decision by his own. For supporting examples one need look no further than a true story of my friend Jane, a classmate in my high school. When taking in the entrance test to college, Jane didn’t do as well as usual. But her mother, a woman who believes destiny firmly, turn to a fortune-telling man for help about what school would Jane choose. Jane’s mother chose Qinghua University for Jane as a result of the fortune-telling man’s word “your daughter will get a good mark”, while for Jane’s own choice is a university whose entrance line lower than Qinghua’s. Finally, Jane didn’t access by Qinghua, but her mark is higher than the school she should have assigned. It’s really a pity that she had to study one more year to go to college. As it stands, we should make our decision by our objective analysis, not fortune-telling or astrology, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry.

A further reason of my view is that those nonmainstream areas of inquiry sometimes make people lose their chance to success. Many people have a habit surfing internet for destiny of their own constellation everyday. Some people in those who firmly believe this will instruct themselves in accord with it. So if one will do a big incident, he will choose his most fortunate day to do it in order to success. However, it is not the most proper day for it, as other factors which they couldn’t dominate affect. Or perhaps the proper day has passed and they have already lose the chance because the psychic and paranormal pursuits to the destiny.

Last but not the least, as those nonmainstream areas of inquiry are on the basis of assumption, not reasonable, it has many potential harm to the persons believes. For example, astrology has its own system of characters. According to this, they will build their characters follow this, instead of letting it develop by themselves. If a fortune-telling says you will come across a friend’s betray these days, you became worried about it and treat your friends hardly which hurt your friendship. Such examples are too many to set each.

Admittedly, sometimes the nonmainstream areas of inquiry may do good to people under some special conditions, especially for the one who is in deep sorrow, the good result of the inquiry can bring hope to him and thus make him be more confident to face to the difficulties. But this situation is far less important than the harm ones.

As time is limited, there is still several aspects relevant couldn’t be discussed in this issue. But from the reasons above we can draw a conclusion that those nonmainstream areas of inquiry don’t play a vital role in our society. We are the one who hold ourselves ’ destiny.   



处女作,请大家猛批

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发表于 2007-6-10 15:17:00 |显示全部楼层
In this era of rapid social and technological change leading [怎么看着别扭,是不是应该是changing lead 啊,因为change是在of的作用与之下吧,而且in好像不应该加吧,好像没有主语,要不就是我没分析清语法] to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, some people turn to such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and so on for help as this nonmainstream satisfy their needs that are not addressed by mainstream science. For them, this nonmainstream areas are vital in society, but for me, this nonmainstream areas are only entertainment in our life, which will do harm to us in long run.

First of all, those nonmainstream [nonmainstream] areas of inquiry can make a person losing the right to make a decision by his [ his/her呵呵防止ets说你有性别歧视]own. For supporting examples one need look no further than a true story of my friend Jane, a classmate in my high school. When taking in the entrance test to college, Jane didn’t do as well as usual. But her mother, a woman who believes destiny firmly, turn to a fortune-telling man for help about what school would Jane choose [从句里应该是正常语序吧what school Jane would choose ,]. Jane’s mother chose Qinghua University for Jane as a result of the fortune-telling man’s word “your daughter will get a good mark”; while for Jane’s own choice is a university whose entrance line [貌似应加个系动词] lower than Qinghua’s. Finally, Jane didn’t access [access 应改为get administration吧]by Qinghua, but her mark is higher than the school she should have assigned. It’s really a pity that she had to study one more year to go to college. As it stands, we should make our decision by our objective analysis, not fortune-telling or astrology, the nonmainstream areas of inquiry. [末句写的不错]

A further reason of my view is that those nonmainstream areas of inquiry sometimes make people lose their chance to success. Many people have a habit [是不是应加of]surfing internet for destiny of their own constellation everyday. Some people in those who firmly believe this will instruct themselves in accord with it. So if one will do a big incident, he will choose his most fortunate day to do it in order to [be] success. However, it is not the most proper day for it, as other factors which they couldn’t dominate affect. Or perhaps the proper day has passed and they have already lose the chance because the psychic and paranormal pursuits to the destiny.

Last but not the least, as those nonmainstream areas of inquiry are on the basis of assumption, not reasonable, it has many [much] potential harm to the persons believes. For example, astrology has its own system of characters. According to this, they will build their characters follow [following] this, instead of letting it develop by themselves. If a fortune-telling says you will come across a friend’s betray [betraying] these days, you became worried about it and treat your friends hardly which hurt your friendship. Such examples are too many to set each[什么意思?].

Admittedly, sometimes the nonmainstream areas of inquiry may do good to people under some special conditions, especially for the one who is in deep sorrow, the good result of the inquiry can bring hope to him and thus make him be more confident to face to [去掉to]the difficulties. But this situation is far less important than the harm ones.

As time is limited, there is still several aspects relevant couldn’t be discussed in this issue. But from the reasons above we can draw a conclusion that those nonmainstream areas of inquiry don’t [不要用don’t,要用do not] play a vital role in our society. We are the one who hold ourselves’ [这种用法我也是头会见,过去都是用our own,如果没问题的话下回我也用] destiny.

下一次先用word先检查一下,一句话里有时出现谓语形式的不正确。不要用缩写,有些间单词避免用吧,比如good。

[ 本帖最后由 baiyu_2005 于 2007-6-10 15:21 编辑 ]

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发表于 2007-6-10 15:20:13 |显示全部楼层
我也是头一次改。你怎么也修改我的作文啊,不是应该给后面的人改吗

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发表于 2007-6-10 17:39:59 |显示全部楼层
[怎么看着别扭,是不是应该是changing lead 啊,因为change是在of的作用与之下吧,而且in好像不应该加吧,好像没有主语,要不就是我没分析清语法]这个change是名词,不过主语好像真是忘了
[什么意思?].这个没写完
[这种用法我也是头会见,过去都是用our own,如果没问题的话下回我也用] 你不说我还真没发现,好像真没这么用的

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RE: Issue41 【victor小组】第9次作业 by gyyx [修改]

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Issue41 【victor小组】第9次作业 by gyyx
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-682218-1-1.html
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