Issue31 【METTLE小组】第三次作业 by 一米八四

一米八四UID: 2317911

Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial.
Nowadays, the science and technology is acting a great part in our society, it can improve our living conditions, help us fight against the disease, give convenient communication between people around us. The speaker assertion of which money spent on research is a good investment is correct. However, the speaker unnecessarily extends the assertion to embrace research whose results are “controversial”.My point of contention with the assertion as discussed below.
I concede that the speaker is on the correct philosophical side of this issue. After all, research is the best way to explore the unknown world around us, research is also an chief means by which we human can satisfy our insatiable appetite for knowledge, and the carving to understand ourselves. Yet, as the unpredictable character of research, we may not know what will happen if we invest a great money in an unknown fields, if it is worth to continue is an question in front of us, because if we spent too much money in some research whose potential benefits are too speculative, some immediate social problem, such as AIDS, gang violence, kids lack of education must run short of money. So by contrast, we should put the money in the most needed fields.
While we enjoy the benefit by research, we should know for every new research breakthrough that helps us may another that make more dangerous to our lives. The most evident example is the discover some biology or chemistry research, on the one hand, it may help us cure some fatal disease, on the other hand, it may be used by terrorist to become some mortal biochemistry weapons. An other example to prove the viewpoint is the cloned sheep—Dorry, the technology of clone will give great help for our cognition about biology, while some people want to clone person for their own benefit which will make our human society out of order.In short, so—called “advances” that scientific research has brought about often amount to net losses for humanity.
In sum, I agree that money spent on research is generally a sound investment—because it is an investment in the advancement of human knowledge and in human imagination and spirit .Nevertheless, when the research without aim or clear purpose, we should think about it before we give our investment, because the money could have been applied to relieve the immediate suffering of our dispirited, disadvantaged, and disenfranchised members of society. In a word, given finite economic resources the most limited used is the best way to solve the problems.


[ 本帖最后由 一米八四 于 2007-6-14 18:11 编辑 ]

一米八四UID: 2317911

加入小组后第一篇作文 敬请我本周互改对象 happyhappypig 指点
第一次写没什么经验 麻烦你了 呵呵 :loveliness:

pippo1983UID: 172110

发错了~~

[ 本帖最后由 pippo1983 于 2007-6-14 16:45 编辑 ]

pippo1983UID: 172110

字数实在太少了，lz搜一下同题目的优秀习作吧参考下然后再修改下吧，这样的论证很难到4分的

一米八四UID: 2317911

原帖由 pippo1983 于 2007-6-14 16:53 发表
字数实在太少了，lz搜一下同题目的优秀习作吧参考下然后再修改下吧，这样的论证很难到4分的

好的 谢谢你 我再看看其他人的

happyhappypigUID: 2342810

Nowadays, the science and technology is acting a great part in our society, it can improve our living conditions, help us fight against the diseases, give us convenient communication between people around us(前后一致的话，后面这些还是不要比较好吧）. The speaker's assertion of which(that) money spent on research is a good investment is correct.Or say i would partially agree （disagree？）with the assertion that...... However, the speaker unnecessarily extends the assertion to embrace research whose results are “controversial”.My point of contention with the assertion as discussed below."is discussed below"

I concede that the speaker is on the correct philosophical side of this issue. 这句有点每看懂After all, research is the best way to explore the unknown world around us, research is also an a chief means by which we human beings can satisfy our insatiable appetite for knowledge, and the carving to understand ourselves. Yet, as the unpredictable character of research, we may not know what will happen if we invest a great money in an unknown fields, if it is worth to continue is an question in front of us, 这里断开把，分两句写比较好，要不看着有点混乱了because if 两个连词？we spent too much money in some research whose potential benefits are too speculative, causing some immediate social problem, such as AIDS, gang violence, kids lack of education must run short of money?和前面什么联系？没看懂？. So by contrast, we should put the money in the most needed fields.如果你的开头也说同意的意思，那就先说同意的方面，如果开头说不同意就先说不同意的方面，怎么感觉你开头说的不是很清楚立场，第一段开始又说又好又不好的?
While we enjoy the benefit by research, we should know for every new research breakthrough that helps us may another that这两个词加在这里什么意思？ make more dangerous to our lives. The most evident 可以这么用吗？example is the discovery of some biology or chemistry research, on On one hand。。。 on the other hand。。。the one hand, it may help us cure some fatal diseases, on the other hand, it may be used by terrorists to become some mortal？biochemistry weapons. An other Another example to prove the viewpoint is the cloned sheep—Dorry, the technology of clone will give great help for our cognition about biology, while some people want to clone person for their own benefit which will make our human society out of order.In short, so—called “advances” that scientific research has brought about often amount to net losses for humanity.
感觉好像两段说的都是否定题目的意思，但是开头又不是很明确的反对？结尾也是

In sum, I agree that money spent on research is generally a sound investment—because it is an investment in the advancement of human knowledge and in human imagination and spirit .Nevertheless, when the research without aim or clear purpose, we should think about it before we give our investment, because the money could have been applied to relieve the immediate suffering of our dispirited感觉用的很奇怪，不知道怎么改, disadvantaged, and disenfranchised members of society. In a word, given finite economic resources the most limited used is the best way to solve the problems.最后一句没看懂

既然lz说要狠批我就不可欺了，呵呵
1. lz以后最好看下字数，太少了的话虽然也可以说明白，但是很定不充分，呵呵，一般来说body都是三段吧，两段也可以，但是感觉你每一段都是中庸，而不是每一段有一个侧重点。感觉ets可能会不喜欢这样吧，我个人觉得你可以一个body说好，一个说不好，结尾的时候综述一下，长一点的，一共两段body也可以吧
2. lz的语法我觉得要提高，好多句子太长了，而且意思上也明明就是两句话。另外，可以两个连词一起用吗，为什么好多人都有这个问题？发上来之前自己先检查一遍吧，毕竟考试的时候没有人改，而且早点发现问题，写的时候就注意，很有可能考试的时候没有时间检查，所以要防患于未然
3. ts还是说的清楚一点比较好，不过回头看我那个，感觉也是，可能是开始的时候想些这些，后来写一写就想到其他方向去了，有点没有按照开始的提纲写了，呵呵
但是好多用词和句子还是不错的，一起加油：）

一米八四UID: 2317911

呵呵 谢谢你!
我明天仔细看看 然后再改一下:)