issue49 五一互助小组第五次作业

gluttonUID: 2330210

TOPIC: ISSUE49 - "Imaginative works such as novels, plays, films, fairy tales, and legends present a more accurate and meaningful picture of human experience than do factual accounts. Because the creators of fiction shape and focus reality rather than report on it literally, their creations have a more lasting significance."
WORDS:           TIME: 00:56:58          DATE: 2007-6-13 22:34:23
    Factual accounts, which often written down by some historical scholars, serves as an important role in our society. Compared with factual accounts, imaginative works,  which created by certain "daring to imagine person", have a far more significance impact in some aspects of our society.
  
   To begin with, through  imaginative works can them give us a picture of human history as factual accounts do. The sources of most imaginative works are derived from the actual historical events. Take the movie of Schindler's List for example, the background of which is the World War 2,  though the pictures depicted in the movie are not exactly the same as the facts, through this movie can we acquire lots of details about the World War 2 and the miserable situation of Jewish people at that time. As a consequence, we get the basic information about the War and its impacts on the world. To extend this point, because the imaginative works have certain foundations in history, and are always related to factual accouts to some extent, in this respect the imaginative works can help us to gain certain knowledge of our human beings history.   
  
   Moreover, unlike the factual accounts, the imaginative works, often instilled in some visions and the creator's personal emotions, entertains us and give us a more deep impression. Imaginative works such as novels, plays, films etc are contained with some vivid images or words that have proufound meanings, we are more likely attracted by these images and vivid words, consequently, we may indulge ourselves in these imaginative works and have a very deep impression of them. They are memorized by us and we may conform to the principles or values that we get from these works in our lives, accordingly, they can shape our personanlities, world views etc and have a lasting influence both on ourselves and the society.      

   However, although imaginative works play such an extraodinary role, facutal accounts is indispensible to our society. There are some functions that the factutal accounts provied can not substituded by imaginative works. For example, We may get some informations about a real hero in our history from a legend, however, the informtions we acquired from the legend may include some faulseful matierals which may be embellished by the author just to attract the reader's attention. So the historical scholars can not evaluate a person just by the legend, they must base their judgement on factual accounts, for they are more convincing and reliable. And only through the factual accounts can we know exactly the history of our nation, and can distinguish the facts from unture narrative of the historical events. Therefore, the facutal accounts do serve an indispensible role in our society.

  To sum up, I admit that imaginative works give us a meaningful picture of human history, and have a significance functions, but the facutal accounts are of equal importance. While emphasizing on the role played by the imaginative works, we should not neglect the functions performed by the facutal accounts. In order to have a more healthy and stable society, we should pay equal attentions to both the two kinds of works.            
   

iq28UID: 2152875

    Factual accounts, which often written down by some historical scholars, serves as an important role in our society. Compared with factual accounts, imaginative works,  which created by certain "daring to imagine person", have a far more significance impact in some aspects of our society. (这段话基本可以用I agree with the author's assertion来代替,没有提出更多有用的信息.)(而且从第三个body来看,你又花了很大的篇幅来反对作者的观念,所以你的开头说得太满了,导致最后的转折读起来突兀)
  
   To begin with, through imaginative works can them give us a picture of human history as factual accounts do. (在我看来topic中最重要的三点,一个是more,另外一个是because后面的内容.然后就是那个lasting significance了.第一个ts似乎你3者都没有涉及) The sources of most imaginative works are derived from the actual historical events. Take the movie of Schindler's List for example, the background of which is the World War 2,  though the pictures depicted in the movie are not exactly the same as the facts, through this movie can we acquire lots of details about the World War 2 and the miserable situation of Jewish people at that time. As a consequence, we get the basic information about the War and its impacts on the world. To extend this point, because the imaginative works have certain foundations in history, and are always related to factual accouts to some extent, in this respect the imaginative works can help us to gain certain knowledge of our human beings history. (事实上在论证想象作品可以帮助人们了解历史上你做得不错.例证和分析都很可以了.可惜的是有一些偏题的嫌疑,topic要你讨论的重点是more后面的内容以及原因.)  
  
   Moreover, unlike the factual accounts, the imaginative works, often instilled in some visions and the creator's personal emotions, entertains us and give us a more (终于涉及了这个概念,不过如果要赞同作者的观念还得忠于作者because后面的说法.且看你下面如何论证) deep impression. Imaginative works such as novels, plays, films etc are contained with some vivid images or words (感觉这个和topic中because后面的内容并不是很一致) that have proufound meanings, we are more likely attracted by these images and vivid words, consequently, we may indulge ourselves in these imaginative works and have a very deep impression of them. They are memorized by us and we may conform to the principles or values that we get from these works in our lives, accordingly, they can shape our personanlities, world views etc and have a lasting influence both on ourselves and the society. (事实上你的论证还是很有形的.sigh.我个人觉得的问题放在最后说吧)     

   However, although imaginative works play such an extraodinary role, facutal accounts is indispensible to our society. There are some functions that the factutal accounts provied can not substituded by imaginative works. (很简单但是很赞的一句话.很多板油的文章就是少了这些ts后面的分析内容就开始狂举例子了) For example, We may get some informations about a real hero in our history from a legend, however, the informtions (汗,information不可数) we acquired from the legend may include some faulseful matierals which may be embellished by the author just to attract the reader's attention. So the historical scholars can not evaluate a person just by the legend, they must base their judgement on factual accounts, for they are more convincing and reliable. And only through the factual accounts can we know exactly the history of our nation, and can distinguish the facts from unture narrative of the historical events. Therefore, the facutal accounts do serve an indispensible role in our society. (同上一个段落,后面再讲)

  To sum up, I admit that imaginative works give us a meaningful picture of human history, and have a significance functions, but the facutal accounts are of equal importance. While emphasizing on the role played by the imaginative works, we should not neglect the functions performed by the facutal accounts. In order to have a more healthy and stable society, we should pay equal attentions to both the two kinds of works.            

段内没有太多可以改动的地方
论证还是很成熟的
赞

我觉得的严重的问题是lz的审题
topic说的是a>b,因为c.
而lz第一段提出了同意作者的观念.
然后第一个body说了a很好,却基本没有涉及和b的比较,无视topic中的more;
第二个body说了a>b,却又不是因为c的原因,无视topic中because后面的内容;
第三个body更是有点夸张,那个however的态度转折完全是180度的.具体见我在第三个body中用紫色的字标注的内容,基本把前两个body自己的论述都给反驳掉了.平衡观念中的平衡不是要像这样全盘否定掉前面的论述,而是要找出前面论述的某些局限,进行部分的妥协.像lz这样的第三个body更像是从某篇对topic采取了反对态度的习作中摘取出来的,和前面两个段落完全不匹配.

就是这些意见了
lz批判接受吧
加油:)