Issue159【07-10G Superstar 大帖】第八次作业 by 学野

学野UID: 2155973

TOPIC: ISSUE159 - "The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds."
WORDS: 598          TIME: 00:43:11          DATE: 2007-6-17 11:32:16

After watching the famous film "I, robot"---a film bring us the future figure that robots have surpassed our human mind and made us enslaved when they master independent thinking, each of us may bog down into a question--will  the human mind be always superior to machines? The speaker claims so for the reason that machines are only tools of human minds. In my observation, machines without independent thinking or creative ideas will serve for our human being as tools, and thus the human mind will be superior to machines.

Admittedly, machines have capacity that can be superior to our human being. That is, the accurate computing and repeating onerous jobs without making mistakes. For example, we can input data into the computer and merely through some computing program can we get the precise result, instead of computing enormous numbers for a long time by ourselves. we can also travel to the long-distance places by virtue of motorcars or planes, instead of undergoing the weary walking. In this sense, machines can do much more things that we cannot accomplish, and to some extent surpass our ability.

However, no matter how accurate the computing attain or how fast the speed of motorcar can obtain, they are still under control and serve completely to our human being as tools. without independent thinking and creative ideas, they can only take actions in according to our order. What if we cut in their energy resource? it is obvious that machines can do nothing unless we input the demands. some may argue that the computer "deep blue" has defeated the greatest chest player in the world and thus it is an apt example to illustrate that machines have got triumph when competing with the human mind. however they overlook the basic fact that the computer is invented by our humankind, and every step of playing chest is designed by the programmers, This is not the competition of human mind and machines, as a matter of fact, it is the competition of the first-class chest player and genius computer programmers. Therefore, without thinking independently and doing things all by themselves, machines are only machines for the sake of serving human being as tools.

What if those machines have shaped independent thinking and creative ideas, even the emotional response? The result is terrible and exhibited in many films or scientific fictions-----machines enslave and control human being. After all, machines are able to compute in an unimaginably fast speed and grantee the absolute accuracy. if they have independent thoughts, it is apparent that they will take far more accurate and rapid actions than our humankind, and thus can do anything they want rather than under control by us. Under this circumstance, the allegation that the human mind will always be superior to machines is open to doubt. however, are  machines that obtain independent thoughts and emotional responses still called machines? or will we regard them as merely machines? maybe at that time , they are not machines any more but become the same creatures as our human and also the equal species in this whole world. The speaker's assertion that the human mind will always be superior to machines may be broken at that time, even if the situation may come out after a long time that our human can undergo or even this situation may not exist.

To sum up, it is true that machines are excellent in many aspects comparing to human being, however without independent thinking and other crucial characters, machines are only tools and under control, thereby they will not be superior to the human mind.
写完才补得提纲，见谅哈~
部分同意，要看机器是否具有自主思考能力而定
1 机器在某些方面确实优于人类
2 但是机器并没有自主思考能力，受制于人类，为人类所服务
3 若机器有自主思考能力，那么人泪不一定会胜过机器，并且此时机器已不能被当作机器
感觉有点跑题，大家狠狠拍啊~

laura001UID: 2295927

TOPIC: ISSUE159 - "The human mind will always be superior to machines because machines are only tools of human minds."
WORDS: 598          TIME: 00:43:11          DATE: 2007-6-17 11:32:16

部分同意，要看机器是否具有自主思考能力而定
1 机器在某些方面确实优于人类 (你自己也认为机器有优越人人类的时候,但是你文章结尾总结的时候,说 they will not be superior to human,岂不是矛盾?)
2 但是机器并没有自主思考能力，受制于人类，为人类所服务
3 若机器有自主思考能力，那么人泪不一定会胜过机器，并且此时机器已不能被当作机器(然后呢,感觉说一半...)
感觉有点跑题，大家狠狠拍啊~

After watching the famous film "I, robot"---a film bring us the future figure that robots have surpassed our human mind(+S) and made us enslaved when they master independent thinking, each of us may bog down into a question--will  the human mind be always superior to machines?(这个开始是与众不同,其实不要都北美范文那风格 ,大家都类似的开头)The speaker claims so for the reason that machines are only tools of human minds. In my observation, machines without independent thinking or creative ideas will serve for our human being as tools, and thus the human mind will be superior to machines. (你开头段没有提到如果机器有自主能力...,只是概括了你内容的一部分啊)

Admittedly, machines have capacity that can be superior to our human being. That is, the accurate computing and repeating onerous jobs without making mistakes. For example, we can input data into the computer and merely through some computing program can we get the precise result, instead of computing enormous numbers for a long time by ourselves. we can also travel to the long-distance places by virtue of motorcars or planes, instead of undergoing the weary walking. In this sense, machines can do much more things that we cannot accomplish, and to some extent surpass our ability.

However, no matter how accurate the computing attain or how fast the speed of motorcar can obtain, they are still under control and serve completely to our human being as tools. without independent thinking and creative ideas, they can only take actions in according to our order. What if we cut in (这个是插进去的意思)their energy resource? it is obvious that machines can do nothing unless we input the demands. some may argue that the computer "deep blue" has defeated the greatest chest player in the world and thus it is an apt example to illustrate that machines have got triumph when competing with the human mind. however they overlook the basic fact that the computer is invented by our humankind, and every step of playing chest is designed by the programmers, This is not the competition of human mind and machines, as a matter of fact, it is the competition of the first-class chest player and genius computer programmers.(这句想说明什么呢)(前后2句实在没有看出因果关系来) Therefore, without thinking independently and doing things all by themselves, machines are only machines for the sake of serving human being as tools.

What if those machines have shaped independent thinking and creative ideas, even the emotional response? The result is terrible and exhibited in many films or scientific fictions-----machines enslave and control human being. After all, machines are able to compute in an unimaginably fast speed and grantee the absolute accuracy. if they have independent thoughts, it is apparent that they will take far more accurate and rapid actions than our humankind,(为什么如果机器人有了独立的思想就可以更精确和快速?? ?有点牵强)and thus can do anything they want rather than under control by us. Under this circumstance, the allegation that the human mind will always be superior to machines is open to doubt. however, are  machines that obtain independent thoughts and emotional responses still called machines? or will we regard them as merely machines? maybe at that time , they are not machines any more but become the same creatures as our human and also the equal species in this whole world.(这几句和你主题关系不大啊,或你说完把它和你主题联系起来,不过建议别写.你可以说由于机器人有了独立的思想,他在那些方面超越人类,是真正意义上的比人类强大......)The speaker's assertion that the human mind will always be superior to machines may be broken at that time, even if the situation may come out after a long time that our human can undergo or even this situation may not exist.

To sum up, it is true that machines are excellent in many aspects comparing to human being, however without independent thinking and other crucial characters, machines are only tools and under control, thereby they will not be superior to the human mind.(建议你解释下superior的含义,你前面说机器在很多方面都很excellent,那这个是不是就是superior?你最好说明下)

总结:感觉没有突出你的主题,你究竟是认为机器比人优越吗?结尾段和提纲不符合,并且对第4段也只字不提;开头也没有提到第4段.
你开头结尾都是认为机器没有优于人类,那跑出来的第4段是为了说明什么呢?
并且说明下第2段的机器的好处究竟是不是be superior to human.有点混乱

[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-6-18 02:44 编辑 ]

学野UID: 2155973

组长的批评实在是非常到位阿~
其实开始也没列提纲，就是怎么想的怎么写的，感觉就很散
however they overlook the basic fact that the computer is invented by our humankind, and every step of playing chest is designed by the programmers, This is not the competition of human mind and machines, as a matter of fact, it is the competition of the first-class chest player and genius computer programmers.(这句想说明什么呢)(前后2句实在没有看出因果关系
我是想说明由于深蓝电脑程序是由程序员设计的，所以这场比赛不能说是真正的人与机器智慧对决，而是一流棋手和天才程序员之间的对决，还是人与人的对决。来反驳某些人认为机器胜过了人
After all, machines are able to compute in an unimaginably fast speed and grantee the absolute accuracy. if they have independent thoughts, it is apparent that they will take far more accurate and rapid actions than our humankind,(为什么如果机器人有了独立的思想就可以更精确和快速?? ?有点牵强)q
确实，我应该再详细展开， 因为前面说到机器在速度与准确性上高于人类，如果有自主思考能力，当然能自己准东作出反应，而不是等待命令，而且是更快更准的反应。
To sum up, it is true that machines are excellent in many aspects comparing to human being, however without independent thinking and other crucial characters, machines are only tools and under control, thereby they will not be superior to the human mind.(建议你解释下superior的含义,你前面说机器在很多方面都很excellent,那这个是不是就是superior?你最好说明下)
恩啊，9494，写完才发现跟提纲不符，确切的说是写完才补得提纲，我再去修改去，把开头和结尾都增加上不superior的内容，而且准确定义下superior的含义，其实一开始，想定义，但发现挺难下标准的，还是一分为二的好，如果定义成精准性，那么机器占上风，如果定义成自主思考能力，人类占上风，但是如果机器有了自主思考能力。又另当别论。
我发现还是要先写提纲的，我这次就感觉写得很顺，写完了发现有点跑。。。下次注意
再次感谢组长的悉心点评哈:loveliness:

冬天的鹰UID: 2191930

我个人的建议，不要有那个让步段，或者缩短让步段，缩短成一句话，然后说明“这些机器人的优点并不能说明它们可以超越人类的智慧，我将从以下几个方面阐述我的观点“，使让步段具有启下的功能。