Argument38 【07-10G Superstar大帖】第12次作业 by gyyx

gyyxUID: 2290150

In this memo, the author states a recommendation that we should daily use Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, in order to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. To support this recommendation, the author take a study report of nearby East Meria, where people visit the doctor only once or twice per year and fish consumption is high, as an example. I find this argument based on assumption and logical fallacies.

At the first place, the author assumes a direct cause-effect relationship between fish consumption and the reason why people in East Meria seldom visit doctor for the treatment of colds. It is high possible that due to the applied public healthy education in East Meria, people there understand common knowledge about colds and could treat themselves with medicine instead of seeing a doctor. Perhaps it is because the charge of treatment in East Meria is too high for people there to go to doctors’ for a treatment for only colds. Or perhaps East Meria is a place that climate is good enough to keep people healthy and their habits are healthy to keep them far from frequently colds. Additionally, we are suffering from the study report, what samples is surveyed and how it performed, and we know nothing in common with the two place East Meria and West Meria, there may be too many difference although they are near. Without addressing these alternative explanations why people in East Meria visit doctor for colds, the details about the study, and the data about the two places, the author could conclude eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, relying on the mere fact that fish consumption is high.

At the second place, absence of evidence brings up the unlikelihood that the recommendation of daily use of Ichthaid, although it is a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil. Even if assume that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, there’s no credible evidence that this nutrition should be take daily. Lack of what part of the fish account for the prevention of colds, the function of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil is open to doubt. Maybe some other nutrition could better use, maybe this nutritional supplement will cause some side-effects, and maybe daily use is unnecessary. Absence of information about this nutritional supplement and a scientific explanation why eating fish could prevent colds, the author’s conclusion is unconvincing.

Last but not least, the author ignores that there are a lot of factors influence the absenteeism other than colds and the argument that colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work is no evidence support at all. Perhaps colds are only an excuse to cover up other personal reasons such as depression, despair, and so on. So only prevent colds is not a wise way to lower absenteeism.

In conclusion, this argument is based on assumptions and could not convince me. To bolster this argument, the author should provide more dear evidence to illustrate the conclusion that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, a scientific report that why it could, and more details about the nutritional supplement Ichthaid.

laura001UID: 2295927

In this memo, the author states a recommendation that we should daily use Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, in order to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. To support this recommendation, the author take a study report of nearby East Meria, where people visit the doctor only once or twice per year and fish consumption is high, as an example. I find this argument based on assumption and logical fallacies.

At (是In)the first place, the author assumes a direct cause-effect relationship between fish consumption and the reason why people in East Meria seldom visit doctor for the treatment of colds. It is high possible that due to the applied public healthy education in East Meria, people there understand common knowledge about colds and could treat themselves with medicine instead of seeing a doctor. Perhaps it is because the charge of treatment in East Meria is too high for people there to go to doctors’ for a treatment for only colds.(划线的不要,应该是收费都高,总不会就看感冒收费高吧) Or perhaps East Meria is a place that climate is good enough to keep people healthy and their habits are healthy to keep them far from frequently colds. Additionally, we are suffering from the study report, what samples is surveyed and how it performed, and we know nothing in common with the two place East Meria and West Meria, there may be too many difference although they are near. (这个感觉没有说完,两地有什么不一样,人环境气候等都可以说,最好说清楚.并且这个批驳点已经和主题没有关系了,什么讲到fish consumption and the reason why people seldom visit doctor...属于新的批驳点.可以自己独立成为一段)Without addressing these alternative explanations why people in East Meria visit doctor for colds, the details about the study, and the data about the two places, the author could conclude eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, relying on the mere fact that fish consumption is high.

At (IN)the second place, absence of evidence brings up the unlikelihood that the recommendation of daily use of Ichthaid, although it is a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil. Even if assume that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, there’s no credible evidence that this nutrition should be take daily. Lack of what part of the fish account for the prevention of colds, the function of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil is open to doubt. Maybe some other nutrition could better use, maybe (靠太近,换词) this nutritional supplement will cause some side-effects, and maybe daily use is unnecessary. Absence of information about this nutritional supplement and a scientific explanation why eating fish could prevent colds, the author’s conclusion is unconvincing.

Last but not least,(最好别用,很口语化的词) the author ignores that there are a lot of factors influence the absenteeism other than colds and the argument that colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work is no evidence (+to) support at all. Perhaps colds are only an excuse to cover up other personal reasons such as depression, despair, and so on. So only prevent(+ing) colds is not a wise way to avoid lower absenteeism.

In conclusion, this argument is based on assumptions and could not convince me. To bolster this argument, the author should provide more dear(?什么意思,昂贵的?亲爱的?笔误吧) evidence to illustrate the conclusion that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, a scientific report that why it could, and more details about the nutritional supplement Ichthaid.

总结:第2段要说的太多,以至没有说清楚,
我建议如果要批驳的东西太多,可以选主要的来批.不要都说了,但都没有说清楚.
建议下次写的时候可以附下提纲,有利理清思路.


[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-6-22 00:59 编辑 ]