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[a习作temp] Argument38【07-10G Superstar大帖】第12次作业 by学野 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-6-21 21:41:30 |显示全部楼层
Based on some facts of high consumption of fish and less visits to doctors in East Meria, the author recommends that daily use of Ichthaid is a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. Plausible as it seems at the first glance, the argument cannot stand up to any close scrutiny for the following facets.

In the first place, the author fails to convince us that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. After all, visiting the doctors only once or twice per year does not mean they have lower colds, It is highly possible that they treat the colds as nothing serious and thus take some pills at home instead of going to visit doctors. Even if they do have lower colds, it does not indicate that eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds, perhaps people in East Meria (EM) prefer to doing exercises every day to keep healthy, or it is also possible that they have a good diet and eat more vegetables and fruits. Any of such scenarios, if true, will undermine the conclusion.

In the second place, granted that eating a lot of fish can prevent colds, it is still too hasty to make such recommendation. In fact, the author unfairly equates the daily use of Ichthaid with eating a large amount of fish. There is no evidence that the effect of Ichthaid remains the same as eating fish, what the effective element in fish which can prevent colds also keeps unknown. Even if the Ichthaid is good to prevent colds, the successful experiences in EM may be not applicable in West Meria( WM). Do EM and WM undergo the same atmosphere? Possibilities remain that colder weather in WM which lead to serious colds cannot be prevented by eating fish. Do people in WM have the same health conditions as those in EM? Perhaps people in WM are not used to taking exercises and thus have less healthy conditions and more chances to get colds compared to those in EM. Without giving such detailed evidences, the author’s recommendation is open to doubt.

Finally, even if all above are acceptable, it does not follow that the absenteeism will be lower. Common sense informs us that people often seek for many excuses to ask for a leave., and having colds is the major one. Therefore even if people have lower colds, the situation of absenteeism may not be improved for the reason that there are many other factors affect absenteeism, such as dealing with affairs of family, other diseases like stomach ache. Provided that people are just lazy and take colds as excuses, the situation that  absenteeism is still high is no wonder.

In sum, the author makes a rashly recommendation based on unconvincing evidences and illogical reasoning. To bolster the conclusion, the author should provide more detailed information and convincing evidences of situation in WM and the real reasons for absenteeism.

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发表于 2007-6-22 10:09:41 |显示全部楼层
自己顶一下,呵呵,我对argument不太熟悉,这是第二篇
望大家狂拍啊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
让砖头来的更猛烈些吧

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发表于 2007-6-22 22:06:56 |显示全部楼层
Argument38【07-10G Superstar大帖】第12次作业 by学野

Basedon some facts of high consumption of fish and less visits to doctors inEast Meria, the author recommends that daily use of Ichthaid is a goodway to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. Plausible as it seems atthe first glance, the argument cannot stand up to any close scrutinyfor the following facets.

In the first place, theauthor fails to convince us that eating a substantial amount of fishcan prevent colds. After all, visiting the doctors only once or twiceper year does not mean they have lower colds, It is highly possiblethat they treat the colds as nothing serious and thus take some pillsat home instead of going to visit doctors. Even if they do have lowercolds, it does not indicate that eating a substantial amount of fishcan prevent colds, perhaps people in East Meria (EM) prefer to doingexercises every day to keep healthy, or it is also possible that theyhave a good diet and eat more vegetables and fruits. Any of suchscenarios, if true, will undermine the conclusion. (论证很有力)

In the second place,granted that eating a lot of fish can prevent colds, it is still toohasty to make such recommendation. In fact, the author unfairly equatesthe daily use of Ichthaid with eating a large amount of fish. There isno evidence that the effect of Ichthaid remains the same as eatingfish, what the effective element in fish which can prevent colds alsokeeps unknown. Even if the Ichthaid is good to prevent colds, thesuccessful experiences in EM may be not applicable in West Meria( WM).Do EM and WM undergo the same atmosphere(climate?)? Possibilities remain thatcolder weather in WM which lead to serious colds cannot be prevented byeating fish. Do people in WM have the same health conditions as thosein EM? Perhaps people in WM are not used to taking exercises and thushave less healthy conditions and more chances to get colds compared tothose in EM. Without giving such detailed evidences, the author’srecommendation is open to doubt.

Finally, even if all aboveare acceptable, it does not follow that the absenteeism will be lower.Common sense informs us that people often seek for many excuses to askfor a leave., and having colds is the major one. Therefore even ifpeople have lower colds, the situation of absenteeism may not beimproved for the reason that there are many other factors affectabsenteeism, such as dealing with affairs of family, other diseaseslike stomach ache. Provided that people are just lazy and take colds asexcuses, the situation that  absenteeism is still high is no wonder.

In sum, the author makes arashly recommendation based on unconvincing evidences and illogicalreasoning. To bolster the conclusion, the author should provide moredetailed information and convincing evidences of situation in WM andthe real reasons for absenteeism.

感觉楼主写得很不错,argument 的感觉都找到了;
语法错误也很少,学习学习....

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RE: Argument38【07-10G Superstar大帖】第12次作业 by学野 [修改]

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