issue59【METTLE小组】第四次作业 by 一米八四

一米八四UID: 2317911

关键词  榜样独立思考
提纲
1 榜样对我们社会发展起着推动作用, 我们应当从榜样身上学习,加上自己的思考行动,这样能把事情做好.
2榜样对我们的影响好的一面,我们可以从榜样身上学到很多东西。
3 榜样能够激发我们对成功的渴望。
4榜样虽好也不能完全照搬自己不思考.我们应当结合自己的具体情况,借鉴榜样,这样才最好
5 榜样的力量是无穷的,榜样对我们的帮助也是无穷的, 但是我们不能盲从,要把握自己的方向.
59"Too much emphasis is placed on role models. Instead of copying others, people should learn to think and act independently and thus make the choices that are best for them."

We are living in a world with a lot of role models around us. The models plays a vital role in our daily life, it helps the development of our society. In my opinion, The proper way to make success in our lives is thinking ourselves as well as using for reference form the role models.

To begin with, the influences which the models bring in are tremendous. We have been brought up with tales and legends of kinds of heroes or heroines, no matter whether these characters are real people or fictional ones, these stories serve as our primary enlightened materials that instill us virtues and values which the society cherishes most. We have learned hard-working, courage, honesty, and so forth form these models. Besides, the successful examples teach agreeable qualities and unique ways of thought and problems-solving. When we face the difficulties, we can recollect what the models may do when they face the same problems and how they solve the problem successfully. The models' excellent characters are always fortunes which we can study and absorb in.

Further more, Models of success offer us inspiration to pursue further accomplishment. The models' example actually is a good point to us. Take Bill Gates as an example, who the founder of one famous corporation Microsoft in the world, develop advanced computer operating systems and dominate the PC market triumphantly. The great achievement he attains fulfilled the dream of most people who want to pursue success and fortune in their lives. So dose the example of Marie Curie, her high passion to scientific research affect some scientific devotees to bring into play their abilities into the fields they love. What the models done can tell us a truth that we can attain our goals in some days.

Admittedly, the power of role models is infinite, but it dose not mean that we can copy exactly from the models. Blindly copying and following the models' experiences may result a loss of independence and aim. Every one has their unique personalities and the ways the deal with problem. If we only follow after others' step, we will lose our innovation which is most needed in our modern society. At this point, what we should do is exactly as the famous scientist Newton said, when he talk about how he succeed "I see farther than others, because I stand on the giant’s shoulder." The attitude about the role models is selecting the essence and discarding the dross in order to find a most appropriate way.

In sum, what the models give us is enormous, but we cannot lost ourselves, learn from our models' thought, correctly treat ourselves is a prerequisite for success.


[ 本帖最后由 一米八四 于 2007-6-23 16:07 编辑 ]

zhangjing106UID: 2157010

We are living in a world with a lot of role models around us. The models plays（play复数） a vital role in our daily life, it helps（帮助发展？push） the development of our society. In my opinion, The proper way to make success in our lives is thinking ourselves as well as using for reference form the role models.To begin with, the influences which the models bring in are tremendous. We have been brought up with tales and legends of kinds of heroes or heroines, no matter whether these characters are real people or fictional ones, these stories serve as our primary enlightened materials that instill us virtues and values which the society cherishes most. We have learned hard-working, courage, honesty, and so forth form these models. Besides, the successful examples teach agreeable qualities and unique ways of thought and problems-solving. When we face the difficulties, we can recollect what the models may do when they face the same problems and how they solve the problem successfully. The models' excellent characters are always fortunes which we can study and absorb in.（这一段不错，很清晰）Further more（Furthermore没有空格）, Models of success offer us inspiration to pursue further accomplishment. The models' example actually is a good point to us. Take Bill Gates as an example, who （is缺动词）the founder of one famous corporation Microsoft in the world, develop advanced computer operating systems and dominate the PC market triumphantly. The great achievement he attains fulfilled the dream of most people who want to pursue success and fortune in their lives. So dose the example of Marie Curie, her high passion to scientific research affect（affects） some scientific devotees to bring into play their abilities into the fields they love. What the models done can tell us a truth that we can attain our goals in some days.Admittedly, the power of role models is infinite, but it dose not mean that we can copy exactly from the models. Blindly copying and following the models' experiences may result a loss of independence and aim. Every one has their unique personalities and the ways the（to） deal with problem. If we only follow after others' steps, we will lose our innovation which is most needed in our modern society. At this point, what we should do is exactly as the famous scientist Newton said, when he talk about how he succeed "I see farther than others, because I stand on the giant’s shoulder." The attitude about the role models is selecting the essence and discarding the dross in order to find a most appropriate way.In sum, what the models give us is enormous, but we cannot lost ourselves, learning from our models' thought, correctly treating ourselves is a prerequisite for success.(再展开点就好了)

1．  开头和前两段的意思都很清楚，肯定了榜样的力量，后两段是让步。结构很清晰。
2．  但是，还是句式的问题，不能将文章一气呵成的读下来
3．  后两段的论述稍显无力，没有充分的展开。
4．  感觉比Argument写得好一些。