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发表于 2007-7-15 11:42:31 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
第三次作业

Task1
1. People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state.  To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For a long time, there have been arguments about whether people should or should not pay tax to the state. A considerable number of people hold the opinion that they should spend all their money on their own interest without paying tax. However, as far as I am concerned, to pay tax is every member’s obligation. The reasons go as below.

It is generally considered that each person in the country is protected by the regulations and laws. But without the government which is supported by tax, they can never exist. As a result, tax is paid for the necessary services from the government. If we do not pay tax, we can not achieve any help to find our things back if we face a break-in. If we do not pay tax, the traffic jam would not be solved because there is no policeman. Even when our enemy declares war to us and intrudes our homeland, no one will protect us to fight them if we do not pay tax.

Furthermore, as an important tool of regulation, tax plays a crucial role in the society and economy. Because of the inevitable existence of earning distinction, tax becomes a very useful method to reduce this distinction by requiring the people who has higher salary to pay higher tax. Therefore, the earning distance of poor people and rich people is reduced. Furthermore, a large sum of the money of tax is used to improve the society’s infrastructure, such as roads and schools, so that almost every body would be benefited by the tax.

In conclusion, though paying tax reduces the money we can master, we have got a good many necessary services. So it is every person's obligation to pay tax.

===========================第二次作业分界线========================
第二次作业

Task 1

The pie chart describes the difference between men and women in full-time and part-time job. The bar chart gives the difference between men and women in total weekly work time.
(Version 121)


The first chart depicts the gender difference in pursuit for full time job or part time job, and the second chart depicts the total work time between both men and women in a week. So both two charts show us the information that male and female have different preference in work.

As illustrated by the pie chart, most of the male, about eleven twelfth, choose a full time job, the number of who is much more than the people who select a part time job. In the contrary, women tend to a fairly average choice, where the people who choose a full time job are only slightly more than the ones who select a part time job.

Though different gender has different preference in part time job or full time job, their total work time does not have such large gaps, which can be seen in the bar chart. It indicates that most men and women, the number is about 43 and 42 respectively, work for 25-35 hours a week. Meanwhile, more women than men work less than 25 hours per week, because many men have full time jobs, so that number of men who works for more than 25 hours is a little greater than that of the women.




====================================第一次的分隔线=================================
Task 1: The graph show the GDP growth in the United States, Japan and the rest of Asia between 1995 and 2001.
(From Version 94)


This graph gives an illustration of the GDP growth in the United States, Japan and the rest of Asia. Generally speaking, the GDPs of these three objects remain the increasing trend more or less from the year 1995 to 2001, and in 2001, their GDP growth has increased to the highest level, which meant that the economical activities became more and more prosperous.

If a clear emphasis is processed to the graph, an interesting phenomenon can be find, which describes the opposite changing trends of the GDP growth between the U.S. and Asia except Japan. In U.S., the GDP growth kept increasing until the year 1999 to its peak near 10, and then dropped slowly to the point near 9 in the year 2001. While in Asia without Japan, its GDP growth quickly decreased from about 9 to its bottom near 4 during the period of 1995 to 1999, but amazingly it retrieved its energy to rise to the top near 11 at 2001.

The GDP growth in Japan highly fluctuated during this period, which can be figured out in the graph. At first, its GDP growth increased to its first peak in 96, and then it quickly declined to its original level of 1995. After 2 years of increase, it reached to the second peak in year 2001.   

[ 本帖最后由 vlcb 于 2007-7-25 01:01 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-7-15 13:36:41 |只看该作者
Task 2     ///第二次作业

The issue that whether animals should be used for experiments has been discussed for a long time. Some people, especially the zoophiles, hold a strong attitude against using animals in experiments, because they think it is too cruel. While others disagree with this comment, they think that it is necessary for the development of science. As far as I am concerned, though it seems to be cruel, the using of animals in experiments is quite important and vital for human beings and animals.

When it comes to the experiments using animals, people usually have the image that animals are killed cruelly by the scientists. But actually in most cases, animals are not killed or injured, instead of which, they are taken care of well by the scientific workers. In these experiments, scientists usually test their life habits and customs and often these materials are necessary to improve the protection towards them.

Even in the other kinds of experiments, which involve wounding or killing several animals, we have to admit that it is necessary for the development of science. Just imagine what it would be like if people have to use one kind of new invented medicine which is not tested by animals! It is cruel to people and one can never say that to treat people cruel is better, I think. Besides, the medicine which is used to protect animals also needs to know its affection among them before.

In conclusion, though it may be cruel for the animals which are used in the experiments, in my opinion, it is necessary for the scientific development and it also plays an import role in protecting animals.

================================第一次作业的分界线===================================

Task 2:
Earlier technological development brought to more benefits and changed the life of ordinary people than the recent technological development ever will. To what extent, do you Agree or Disagree?


During the recent decades of year, technologies have blossomed in many subjects and research areas, which bring our human kind many benefits and change the society in most aspects. When people are enjoying the conveniences attributed to technological improvement, we may have the idea to compare the earlier and recent technological improvement in the domain of benefiting and changing ordinary people's life. Although some people think that ordinary people benefit more from the earlier technologies, as far as I am concerned, this comment will be much more arbitrary if we take a further consideration.

On one hand, we can not decline that previous technologies had brought a large amount of improvements and changes to human kind. The influence of earlier technologies is so fundamental and penetrative that it is very hard for people who live in modern society to imagine the life without these inventions and improvements. Without electrical light, the night of our life would be unbounded dark; without airplanes, the trip of people would be slowly and much more tedious; without anti-biotic medicine, the life of wound person would be in danger all the time.

On the other hand, although the earlier technologies played a very important role to benefit people, we can not say that the role they played is more important than recent technologies. Based on previous technologies, recent technological improvement has changed many aspects of man kind's life, which broadens people's sight amazingly and prepares them to be more powerful and intelligent. The information highway supported by Internet leads human beings into the global village; the gene technology allows man to get rid of diseases which can not be cured before.

To sum up, I have the conclusion that both earlier and recent technological improvement have largely changed the life of ordinary people and also had important influence to the future. Only generations of technological achievements can propel the human society towards into more advanced level.

[ 本帖最后由 vlcb 于 2007-7-22 21:59 编辑 ]
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板凳
发表于 2007-7-15 14:52:16 |只看该作者
vlcb的task1和task2已改
句型不错

Vlcb第一次作业修改.doc

27 KB, 下载次数: 3

task1 and task2的修改

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Capricorn摩羯座 荣誉版主

地板
发表于 2007-7-15 14:54:41 |只看该作者
Task 1: The graph show the GDP growth in the United States, Japan and the rest of Asia between 1995 and 2001.
(From Version 94)
This graph gives an illustration of the GDP growth in the United States, Japan and the rest of Asia. Generally speaking, the GDPs不太清楚GDP能不能复数 of these three objects remain the increasing trend more or less from the year 1995 to 2001, and in 2001, their GDP growth has 这个是单复数的问题还是什么?然后,是结合图的,在01年,好像并不是所有的GDP都达到最高水平吧?increased to the highest level, which meant that the economical activities became more and more prosperous.If a clear emphasis is processed to the graph, an interesting phenomenon can be findfound, which describes the opposite changing trends of the GDP growth between the U.S. and Asia except Japan. In U.S., the GDP growth kept increasing until the year 1999 to its peak near 10, and then dropped slowly to the point near 9 in the year 2001. While in Asia without Japan, its GDP growth quickly decreased from about 9 to its bottom near 4 during the period of 1995 to 1999, but amazingly it retrieved its energy to rise to the top near 11 at 2001. The GDP growth in Japan highly fluctuated during this period, which can be figured out in the graph. At first, its GDP growth increased to its first peak in 96我觉得统一用1996吧), and then it quickly declined to its original level of 1995. After 2 years of increase, it reached to the second peak in year 2001.   


[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2007-7-16 17:09 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-7-15 16:54:11 |只看该作者
谢谢楼上两位的悉心修改!:) :) :)

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发表于 2007-7-16 00:30:05 |只看该作者
修改的二位把帖子改一下直接贴把。。

改动的地方用红色。。

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Capricorn摩羯座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2007-7-16 17:39:26 |只看该作者
Task 2:
Earlier technological development brought to more benefits and changed the life of ordinary people than the recent technological development ever will. To what extent, do you Agree or Disagree?

During the recent decades of years, technologies have blossomed in many subjects and research areas, which bring our human kind many benefits and change the society in most aspects. When people are enjoying the conveniences attributed to technological improvement, we may have the idea to compare the earlier with recent technology(我觉得后面几个也可以这样) improvement in the domain of benefiting and changing ordinary people's life. Although some people think that ordinary people benefited more from the earlier technologies, as far as I am concerned, this comment will be much more arbitrary if we take a further consideration.On one hand, we can not decline that previous technologies had brought a large amount of improvements and changes to human kind. The influence of earlier technologies was so fundamental and penetrative that it is very hard for people who live in modern society to imagine the life without these inventions and improvements. Without electrical light, the night of our life would be unbounded dark; without airplanes, the trip of people would be slowly and much more tedious; without anti-biotic medicine, the life of wound person would be in danger all the time.On the other hand, although the earlier technologies played a very important role to benefit people, we can not say that the role they played is more important than recent technologies. Based on previous technologies, recent technological improvement has changed many aspects of man kind's life, which broadens people's sight amazingly and prepares them to be more powerful and intelligent. The information highway supported by Internet leads human beings into the global village; the gene technology allows man to get rid of diseases which can not be cured before.To sum up, I have the conclusion that both earlier and recent technological improvement have largely changed the life of ordinary people and also had(和前面的have矛盾) important influence on the future. Only generations of technological achievements can propel the human society towards into more advanced level.

有一些好词,我要好好学习:)
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Golden Apple

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发表于 2007-7-16 20:37:39 |只看该作者

回复 #7 forbeck 的帖子

forbeck (蒙牛) 很细心哦

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发表于 2007-7-17 19:54:52 |只看该作者
During the recent decades of year(这个用法别扭), technology(用单数比较好吧) has blossomed in many subjects and research areas. This advance(断句会比较好,which指代不明) brings (our删掉) human kind many benefits(我个人觉得单数比较好) and change the society in most aspects(这句话用现在完成时是不是更好). When we(后面是we应该统一我觉得) are enjoying the conveniences attributed to technological improvement, we may have the idea to compare the earlier and recent technological improvement in the (domain of也许不加比较好) benefiting and changing ordinary people's life. Although some people think that ordinary people get more benefit from the earlier technology, as far as I am concerned, this comment may be a little more arbitrary if we take a further consideration.(首段切入主题太慢,绕来绕去的。典型的中国人螺旋形思维。)

On one hand, we
may not deny that previous(earlier technology不能用previous来替换。earlier technology几乎是固定的用法) technology had brought a large amount of improvements(进步不能量化吧?) and changes to human kind. The influence of earlier technology is so fundamental and penetrative that it is very hard for people who live in modern society to imagine the life without these inventions and improvements(这个地方these用的怪怪的。句子意思表达有点不明确). Without electric light(固定用法,wiki去看一看), the night of our life would be unbounded dark(没看懂。。); without airplanes, the trip of people would be slow and much more tedious(slow没问题,tedious的意思好像不大合适); without anti-biotic medicine(这个例子真棒,但是不是考虑细化成青霉素?), the life of wound person(the wound可以表示受伤的群体) would be in danger all the time.

On the other hand, although the earlier technolog
y played a very important role in benefit people(必须是play a role in sth,后面的benefit people我没想出来怎么改), we can not say that it(it 就行) is more important than recent technology. Based on previous technologies(还是那个问题,earlier technology), recent technological improvement has changed many aspects of man kind's life, which broadens(单数?) people's sight amazingly and prepares them to be more powerful and intelligent(没看懂). The information highway supported by Internet leads human being get access (缺失谓语)into the global village(怪); the gene technology allows man to get rid of some diseases(不加some的话就成了所有以前治不了的都能治了) which can not be cured before.

To sum up, I have the conclusion that both earlier and recent technological improvement have largely changed the life of ordinary people and also had important influence to the future. Only generations of technological achievements can propel the human society towards into more advanced level.


(结尾段没有任何总结的意思。也没有明确自己的观点。)

写作带有明显的中国人思维的痕迹。绕来绕去说不清重点。on one hand 和 on the other hand的用法在这里并不适用。。逻辑还可以,但被这组词破坏了不少。而且行文中,同一词时而单数时而复数,建议统一。
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发表于 2007-7-17 21:54:00 |只看该作者
改得很仔细,非常感谢!点评得很到位,把这几天困扰我的问题都指出来了。我也一直在尝试改掉这些毛病.

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发表于 2007-7-22 23:20:25 |只看该作者
顶一下,让大家可以看到我的第二次作业

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发表于 2007-7-23 14:06:35 |只看该作者
友情帮顶

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发表于 2007-7-23 16:53:02 |只看该作者
第二次作业task 2修改
The issue that whether animals should be used for experiments has been discussed for a long time. Some people, especially the zoophiles, hold a strong attitude against using animals in experiments, because they think it is too cruel. While others disagree with this comment, they think that it is necessary for the development of science. As far as I am concerned, though it seems to be cruel, the using(use) of animals in experiments is quite important and vital for human beings and animals.

When it comes to the experiments using(直接用on或者upon) animals, people usually have the image(直接用imagine就可以了) that animals are killed cruelly by the scientists. But actually in most cases, animals are not killed or injured, instead of which,(能独立作一句??这种用法好像没看到过咩) they are taken care of well by the scientific workers. In these experiments, scientists usually test their life habits and customs and often these materials are necessary to improve the protection (改进保护??这里你好像是硬翻过去吧,比较chinglish,最好换成necessary for the animal protection)towards them.(整个这句话在test后做宾从最好用成whether 结构的)

Even in the other kinds of experiments(这里感觉这样用不大好,而且前面the other one the other结构中的,one,后面就出现 the other不好), which involve(involve in) wounding(hurting) or killing several animals(直接用animal hurting or killing即可), we have to admit that it is necessary for the development of science. Just imagine what it would be like if people have to use one kind of new invented medicine which is not tested by animals! It is cruel to people and one can never say that to treat people cruel(cruelly) is better(这样表达感觉上不地道,与前面的联系欠缺,你换个思路,不是说人使用没经动物测试的新药残忍,而是在人身上测试更为残忍,再考虑点是现在没有太高的科技手段帮助人们测试新药,只有用在动物身上), I think(口语话了吧,). Besides, the medicine which is used to protect animals also needs to know its affection(这里你是要表达疾病还是影响,affection更多的是关爱的意思,影响的话用effect) among them before

In conclusion, though it may be cruel for the animals which are used in the experiments(可以考虑句子多样性,比如animal testing呀这些,不要一用这词就考虑定从), in my opinion, it is necessary for the scientific development and it also plays an import role in protecting animals.


1.      句子结构要注意多样性,用词上面多推敲推敲,可以更准确些
2.       文章整体结构还算清晰,值得一提的是,倒数第二段有点让人confused,前半部分通通在讲动物实验,你就说实验的好处,实验的必要性,与后面的动物保护中间好像差点段落导向吧.
3.  Practice makes perfect,共同加油


[ 本帖最后由 jessie_deng 于 2007-7-23 16:59 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-7-25 00:57:06 |只看该作者
我的这周的作文又发上去了,帮忙帮忙改一下。谢谢

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发表于 2007-7-25 10:23:01 |只看该作者
亲爱的你动作真是太快了

这次的作文题我还真是想撞墙。。不会写啊。。。

作为一个出作文题却不会写的组长还真是悲哀啊。。

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RE: [小邪作文组]---vlcb的作文集! [修改]

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