Argument148【天道酬勤作文互改小组】第十六次作业

alarenmingUID: 2329302

TOPIC: ARGUMENT148 - The following appeared in the editorial section of Monroetown's local newspaper.

"Mayor Brown was recently re-elected by a clear majority of 52 percent of Monroetown's voters. Her re-election, however, does not show that most people in our town favored Mayor Brown's proposal for tax reduction over that of her opponent, Mr. Greene, who proposed raising taxes to improve education. It has been shown that voters nationwide tend to re-elect people already in office, regardless of candidates' proposals. In fact, a local survey after the election showed most people in Monroetown disagreed with Mayor Brown's proposal. Clearly most people in Monroetown favor improving education and therefore approve of Mr. Greene's proposal despite the fact that they did not vote for him."
WORDS: 333          TIME: 00:29:51          DATE: 2007-7-18 14:26:00

Can we get the conclusion that the Mr.Greene(G) obtain more approve than mayor Brown(B)? The author said yes, And I said no after further thinking.

In the first place, the speaker fails to convince us M is not popular among the people. first, maybe it is rational that the author said B's re-election does not show that most people in town favored B's proposal over that of M. In the meanwhile, for lacking sufficient evidence, we have reason to believe the reversed situation is possible. Second, the author committed a fallacy called "misapply generalization". The nationwide survey which showed a tendency to re-elect people already in office do not represent the characteristics of the town. It is possible this town is famous for its special style. People in this town have their own individuals differing the nationwide. Consider, for example, fashion. When people in other place purchase purple as the fashion color, people in the town regard purple as old-fashion. In this aspect, citizen here do not have the tendency like the nationwide. Third, the author assumed that the proposal is the only factor by which a major is elected. The other factor such as moral standard, educational background, ability of work, work experience and so on should go into equation. we can not only judge whether a man will be a good mayor or not by his/her proposal. So, in those third aspects, we can not draw that B is not proper for the job.

In the second, the speaker also committed a fallacy which is "either.....or ...". no evidence showed that only B and G are the candidates of the mayor. Even if B is not a right person for the job, it does not mean G is the one. It is possible other person will be more competent than them two. Without restraining such possibility, the author fails to prove G is the proper one.

In sum, as it stands, the author should be more perspective to make his argument more logically acceptable.

PilotBearUID: 2269456

Can we get the conclusion that the Mr.Greene(G) obtain more approve than mayor Brown(B)? The author said yes, And I said no after further thinking.（这个开头值得商榷）

In the first place, the speaker fails to convince us M（G） is not popular among the people. first, maybe it is rational that the author said B's re-election does not show that most people in town favored B's proposal over that of M. In the meanwhile, for lacking sufficient evidence, we have reason to believe the reversed situation is possible. Second, the author committed a fallacy called "misapply generalization". The nationwide survey which showed a tendency to re-elect people already in office do not represent the characteristics of the town. It is possible this town is famous for its special style. People in this town have their own individuals differing the nationwide. Consider, for example, fashion. （这句话太随意了）When people in other place purchase purple as the fashion color, people in the town regard purple as old-fashion. In this aspect, citizen here do not have the tendency like the nationwide. Third, the author assumed that the proposal is the only factor by which a major is elected.（驳错点了，人家的conclusion是那个提案） The other factor such as moral standard, educational background, ability of work, work experience and so on should go into equation. we can not only judge whether a man will be a good mayor or not by his/her proposal. So, in those third（three） aspects, we can not draw that B is not proper for the job.（找错了conclusion）

In the second, the speaker also committed a fallacy which is "either.....or ...".（怎么能有省略号呢） no evidence showed that only B and G are the candidates of the mayor. Even if B is not a right person for the job, it does not mean G is the one. It is possible other person will be more competent than them two. Without restraining such possibility, the author fails to prove G is the proper one.

In sum, as it stands, the author should be more perspective to make his argument more logically acceptable

这篇文章写得不太好，要重视argu的写作。

[ 本帖最后由 PilotBear 于 2007-7-18 21:57 编辑 ]

alarenmingUID: 2329302

我现在一直在想argument要怎么写
有很多是直接按照模板的一步一步写下来的，错误找到得很多，但是看起来都一样了
我现在比较习惯的一种方式是把很多错误结合起来放到一块，整合为一个段落
想集中精力攻击某个点或者啥的~~~
可是写得不好，:L
没几天要考试了，不知道该怎么办才好