Issue150 [OB小组]_第8次作业_科技类-电视和互联网代替旅游

ldongxpUID: 2311083

TOPIC: ISSUE150 - "Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."
WORDS: 441 +68          TIME: 00:44:57 + 20         DATE: 2007-7-20

The speaker asserts that tourism will become obsolete because people can know about more places that they have never been with the help of television and worldwide computer connections. I concede that people are able to get more information about a lot of places where they have never been through television and the worldwide computer network. Yet in my observation, the tourism would become prosperous rather than obsolete.

Admittedly, through the television and worldwide computer network people can now know more about the places where they have never visited at home. On the one hand, there are television programs and advertisement which introduce the places of interest to the audience by showing pictures of beautiful landscape and the buildings with local characteristics and so forth. On the other hand, almost every tour resort now has its own website with pictures and words to introduce it and attract people to visit. With the introduction by these television programs and websites, people can know more information and details about the places without going there by themselves.

However, knowing about places through television and worldwide network can not substitute visiting there in person. People are able to enjoy much fun by visiting a place, which they cannot have through the television and worldwide network. For instance, people may breathe the fresh air and drink the clean spring when they go somewhere by themselves while television and computers cannot offer such experiences. Moreover, people can stay at the special places that they prefer as long as their wishes and take photos as many as they like from many angles, yet through television and computers people can only view the pictures provided. Finally, by visiting some place people are able to taste the special food of that place and know more about the local customs by participating distinctive activities there.  In short, visiting places can provide people with more happy experiences which knowing places by watching television and browsing web pages do not and tourism would not be replaced by those newer media.

Not only tourism could not be substituted by watching television and traveling on the worldwide network, but it would be better with the help of television and worldwide computer network. The introduction of places of interest by television and worldwide computer network may attract people and the online services could facilitate the visiting of people so that increasing people would visit by themselves. Throughout the introduction by the newer media, people can know about the characteristics of the places which are able to attract them to visit there. And worldwide computer network could offer online reservations of hotel, traffic information, and so forth to facilitate the tourists. With the support of the newer media, people can travel much conveniently and would like go sightseeing.

In sum, television and worldwide computer network can introduce the tour resorts to people by providing pictures and words of explanation so that people can know about the places without going there. Yet, without making tourism obsolete, they help attract people to visit and facilitate their tours.

OB叔UID: 188695

take seat first

xiao8686UID: 2266881

我也占个座先

OB叔UID: 188695

The speaker asserts that tourism will become obsolete because people can know about more places that they have never been with the help of television and worldwide computer connections. I concede that people are able to get more information about a lot of places where they have never been through television and the worldwide computer network. Yet in my observation, the tourism would become prosperous rather than obsolete.开头转述一下题目，然后叙述自己的关键，很清楚

Admittedly, through the television and worldwide computer network people can now know more about the places where they have never visited at home. On the one hand, there are television programs and advertisement which introduce the places of interest to the audience by showing pictures of beautiful landscape and the buildings with local characteristics and so forth. On the other hand, almost every tour resort now has its own website with pictures and words to introduce it and attract people to visit. With the introduction by these television programs and websites, people can know more information and details about the places without going there by themselves.理论论述很完备，但是没有事例论证，显的说服力不够

However, knowing about places through television and worldwide network can not substitute visiting there in person. People are able to enjoy much fun by visiting a place, which they cannot have through the television and worldwide network. For instance, people may breathe the fresh air and drink the clean spring when they go somewhere by themselves while television and computers cannot offer such experiences. Moreover, people can stay at the special places that they prefer as long as their wishes and take photos as many as they like from many angles, yet through television and computers people can only view the pictures provided. Finally, by visiting some place people are able to taste the special food of that place and know more about the local customs by participating distinctive activities there.  In short, visiting places can provide people with more happy experiences which knowing places by watching television and browsing web pages do not and tourism would not be replaced by those newer media.3个论述的层次很清晰

Not only tourism could not be substituted by watching television and traveling on the worldwide network, but it would be better with the help of television and worldwide computer network. 【这句话没组织好】The introduction of places of interest by television and worldwide computer network may attract people and the online services could facilitate the visiting of people so that increasing people would visit by themselves. Throughout the introduction by the newer media, people can know about the characteristics of the places which are able to attract them to visit there. And worldwide computer network could offer online reservations of hotel, traffic information, and so forth to facilitate the tourists. With the support of the newer media, people can travel much conveniently and would like go sightseeing.

In sum, television and worldwide computer network can introduce the tour resorts to people by providing pictures and words of explanation so that people can know about the places without going there. Yet, without making tourism obsolete, they help attract people to visit and facilitate their tours.【这句话也有问题】

小结：
总的来说写的不错，结构清楚，论证有力，就是注意一下我已经标注的问题

ldongxpUID: 2311083

:handshake
谢谢各位的宝贵意见

phillipsareaUID: 2318537

The speaker asserts that tourism will become obsolete because people can know about more places that they have never been with the help of television and worldwide computer connections. I concede that people are able to get more information about a lot of places where they have never been through television and the worldwide computer network. Yet in my observation, the tourism would become prosperous rather than obsolete.

Admittedly, through the television and worldwide computer network people can now know more about the places where they have never visited at home. On the one hand, there are television programs and advertisement which introduce the places of interest to the audience by showing pictures of beautiful landscape and the buildings with local characteristics and so forth. On the other hand, almost every tour resort now has its own website with pictures and words to introduce it and attract people to visit. With the introduction by these television programs and websites, people can know more information and details about the places without going there by themselves.

However, knowing about places through television and worldwide network can not substitute visiting there in person. People are able to enjoy much fun by visiting a place, which they cannot have through the television and worldwide network. For instance, people may breathe the fresh air and drink the clean spring when they go somewhere by themselves while television and computers cannot offer such experiences. Moreover, people can stay at the special places that they prefer as long as their wishes and take photos as many as they like from many angles, yet through television and computers people can only view the pictures provided. Finally, by visiting some place people are able to taste the special food of that place and know more about the local customs by participating distinctive activities there.  In short, visiting places can provide people with more happy experiences which knowing places by watching television and browsing web pages do not and tourism would not be replaced by those newer media.

Not only tourism could not be substituted by watching television and traveling on the worldwide network, but it would be better with the help of television and worldwide computer network.(看半天才看明白) The introduction of places of interest by television and worldwide computer network may attract people and the online services could facilitate the visiting of people so that increasing people would visit by themselves. Throughout the introduction by the newer media, people can know about the characteristics of the places which are able to attract them to visit there. And worldwide computer network could offer online reservations of hotel, traffic information, and so forth to facilitate the tourists. With the support of the newer media, people can travel much conveniently and would like go sightseeing.

In sum, television and worldwide computer network can introduce the tour resorts to people by providing pictures and words of explanation so that people can know about the places without going there. Yet, without making tourism obsolete, they help attract people to visit and facilitate their tours.(最后一段总结的比较差,可以再稍微换个说法稍稍展开再收拢,最后一句同OB一样,我也觉得不好)

文章总体论述很到位,只是一些小的细节可以再改善一下,大家都越写越好了,看得出来,好明显,呵呵,加油!

pesticideUID: 2359145

The speaker asserts that tourism will become obsolete because people can know about more places that they have never been with the help of television and worldwide computer connections. I concede that people are able to get more information about a lot of places where they have never been through television and the worldwide computer network. Yet in my observation, the tourism would become prosperous rather than obsolete.

Admittedly, through the television and worldwide computer network people can now know more about the places where they have never visited at home. On the one hand, there are television programs and advertisement which introduce the places of interest to the audience by showing pictures of beautiful landscape and the buildings with local characteristics and so forth. On the other hand, almost every tour resort now has its own website with pictures and words to introduce it and attract people to visit. With the introduction by these television programs and websites, people can know more information and details about the places without going there by themselves.

However, knowing about places through television and worldwide network can not substitute visiting there in person. People are able to enjoy much fun by visiting a place, which they cannot have through the television and worldwide network. For instance, people may breathe the fresh air and drink the clean spring when they go somewhere by themselves while television and computers cannot offer such experiences. Moreover, people can stay at the special places that they prefer as long as their wishes and take photos as many as they like from many angles, yet through television and computers people can only view the pictures provided. Finally, by visiting some place people are able to taste the special food of that place and know more about the local customs by participating distinctive activities there.  In short, visiting places can provide people with more happy experiences which knowing places by watching television and browsing web pages do not and tourism would not be replaced by those newer media.

Not only tourism could not be substituted by watching television and traveling on the worldwide network, but it would be better with the help of television and worldwide computer network. (watching TV and surfing on the internet would not substitute the tourism, but promote it. 试着改了一下，也不太顺)The introduction of places of interest by television and worldwide computer network may attract people and the online services could facilitate the visiting of people so that increasing people would visit by themselves. Throughout the introduction by the newer media, people can know about the characteristics of the places which are able to attract them to visit there. And worldwide computer network could offer online reservations of hotel, traffic information, and so forth to facilitate the tourists. With the support of the newer media, people can travel much conveniently and would like go sightseeing.

In sum, television and worldwide computer network can introduce the tour resorts to people by providing pictures and words of explanation so that people can know about the places without going there. Yet, without making tourism obsolete, they help attract people to visit and facilitate their tours.

文章总体很好，不论是结构和语言。

xiao8686UID: 2266881

The speaker asserts thattourism will become obsolete because people can know about more placesthat they have never been with the help of television and worldwidecomputer connections. I concede that people are able to get moreinformation about a lot of places where they have never been throughtelevision and the worldwide computer network. Yet in my observation,the tourism would become prosperous rather than obsolete.(后面最好加一句with the help of tv and computer之类的话)


Admittedly, through thetelevision and worldwide computer network people can now know moreabout the places where they have never visited at home. （中间可以加一句过渡的话，这里显得有一些突然）On the onehand, there are television programs and advertisement which introducethe places of interest to the audience by showing pictures of beautifullandscape and the buildings with local characteristics and so forth. Onthe other hand, almost every tour resort now has its own website withpictures and words to introduce it and attract people to visit. Withthe introduction by these television programs and websites, people canknow more information and details about the places without going thereby themselves.

However, knowing aboutplaces through television and worldwide network can not substitutevisiting there in person. People are able to enjoy much fun by visitinga place, which they cannot have through the television and worldwidenetwork. For instance, people may breathe the fresh air and drink theclean spring when they go somewhere by themselves while television andcomputers cannot offer such experiences. Moreover, people can stay atthe special places that they prefer as long as their wishes and takephotos as many as they like from many angles（这里词语可以变换一下，有一些重复）, yet through televisionand computers people can only view the pictures provided. Finally, byvisiting some place people are able to taste the special food of thatplace and know more about the local customs by participatingdistinctive activities there.  In short, visiting places can providepeople with more happy experiences which knowing places by watchingtelevision and browsing web pages do not and tourism would not bereplaced by those newer media.
这一段论证的很好，层次递进的很好

Not only tourism could notbe substituted by watching television and traveling on the worldwidenetwork, but it would be better with the help of television andworldwide computer network. The introduction of places of interest bytelevision and worldwide computer network may attract people and theonline services could facilitate the visiting of people so thatincreasing people would visit by themselves. Throughout theintroduction by the newer media, people can know about thecharacteristics of the places which are able to attract them to visitthere. And worldwide computer network could offer online reservationsof hotel, traffic information, and so forth to facilitate the tourists.With the support of the newer media, people can travel muchconveniently and would like go sightseeing.
这段也论证的很详细

In sum, television andworldwide computer network can introduce the tour resorts to people byproviding pictures and words of explanation so that people can knowabout the places without going there. Yet, without making tourismobsolete, they help attract people to visit and facilitate their tours.
整体都很好，注意一些句子上面的问题就好了