Issue185 【0710G-小猪快跑小组】第2次作业 By Shalonbas_丑闻使劲拍

shalonbasUID: 2184474

TOPIC: 185. "Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS: 671          TIME: 90 min          DATE: 2007-7-22

Whenever a scandal happens, people consider it as a terrible tragedy because it may completely destroy the public faith of the governments, corporations or universities where scandals take place. However, at the mean time, scandals could have some positive factors because of two major functions they possess: 1) revealing the real problem; 2) arousing the public awareness, both of which are favored to solve the problems and push things forward.

To begin with, real problems can be revealed through the exposure of a scandal. For instance, an academic scandal was reported in South Korea that Dr. Hwang Woo-Suk, a famous professor in SeoulNationalUniversity who has claimed several important breakthroughs in stem-cell research, turned out to be a cheater who provided fake data in order to validate their publications in top journals. This event has astonished the whole academic area, not only because of what he has done, but also how he could cheat his peer scientists successfully. Consequently, the crux of this scandal has been revealed. Apart from Prof. Hwang's wrong deeds, the pivotal issue is the review system of the academic area, in which scientists and engineers should find better ways to judge a research result valid or not. Regarding the Hwang's scandal, people should inspect the reason why the reviewers were convinced by Prof. Hwang's assertion and accepted their results, and try to make efforts to check the validity of research work more strictly to keep such tragedies from happening again. Therefore, despite the discomfort, such scandals are able to put things forward because the flaws may not be diagnosed without these events.

In addition, since whenever a scandal happens, it will spread all over the world in no time, leading to the public awareness of the problem which is a positive factor because it is actually a pressure that makes the administrations try to solve the existing problem immediately. Nowadays, the media network is so powerful that even a piece of news that takes place in U. S. will become a hot topic in a Russian family in a second. Therefore, once a scandal happens, it will soon becomes world famous. Consequently, the awareness of the public forces the administrative offices to take actions quickly rather than leave it alone until no one remembers it anymore. In response to Prof. Hwang's scandal, the board of the Seoul National University gave him a punishment as soon as the internal panel found out the truth, which is a positive complement to the problem. Moreover, a worldwide discussion on the peer review system has been ignited, which immediately results into several remedies, such as the clarification of every author's contribution to the paper, and improving the image identification technique in review. Therefore, apart from the diagnosis of the problem, a scandal can also help solve the problem more efficiently.

Admittedly, not only are scandals vital to the people related to them, they can also cause dozens of negative influences to the whole field, of which the most important one is the damage to the corresponding confidence. Taking the previous scandal as an example, one consequence is that it destroys the public confidence in professors and hence their fruits. Since Prof. Hwang has been considered as an ambitious cheater who is eager to pursue his goals by all means, it is hard to say what will the impression of his peer scientists be to the public. Similarly, people tend not to believe the government if they realize that some members are liars and not deserved to trust. Once the confidence has been destroyed by the scandal, it will take a long time and tons of efforts to rebuild it.

To sum up, though scandals are detrimental tragedies that can cause severely adverse consequence, they can push things forward by diagnosing and remedying the problems as quick as possible. Therefore, once a scandal unfortunately occurs, it is better to quickly response to it than try to cover it by all means, which leads to a greater scandal most of the time.


照例还是没限时间，觉得构思加动笔还不算很困难，但挑选例子并把其写好着实花了不少时间。我的感觉是例子的积累很关键，但质量（即对某个例子的挖掘深度）比数量更加重要。在平时的练习中应该多花时间把一个例子给想明白，争取让它适用于多个题材中，嗯哪。

[ 本帖最后由 shalonbas 于 2007-7-22 18:11 编辑 ]

Shania.33UID: 2363464

Whenever a scandal happens, people consider it as a terrible tragedy because it may completely destroy the public faith of the governments, corporations or universities where scandals take place. However, at the mean time, scandals could have some positive factors because of two major functions they possess: 1) revealing the real problem; 2) arousing the public awareness, both of which are favored to solve the problems and push things forward. （这种表达的TS，很特别简洁）

To begin with, real problems can be revealed through the exposure of a scandal. For instance, an academic scandal was reported in South Korea that Dr. Hwang Woo-Suk, a famous professor in SeoulNationalUniversity who has claimed several important breakthroughs in stem-cell research, turned out to be a cheater who provided fake data in order to validate their publications in top journals. This event has astonished the whole academic area, not only because of what he has done, but also how he could cheat his peer scientists successfully. Consequently, the crux of this scandal has been revealed. Apart from Prof. Hwang's wrong deeds, the pivotal issue is the review system of the academic area, in which scientists and engineers should find better ways to judge a research result valid or not. Regarding the Hwang's scandal, people should inspect the reason why the reviewers were convinced by Prof. Hwang's assertion and accepted their results, and try to make efforts to check the validity of research work more strictly to keep such tragedies from happening again. Therefore, despite the discomfort, such scandals are able to put things forward because the flaws may not be diagnosed without these events.（总-分-总，论证的很充分。揭露丑闻现实问题本质）

In addition, since whenever a scandal happens, it will spread all over the world in no time, leading to the public awareness of the problem which is a positive factor because it is actually a pressure that makes the administrations try to solve the existing problem immediately（主题2的详细解说，好长的从句哈）. Nowadays, the media network（其实不止网络哦，还有广播电视等） is so powerful that even a piece of news that takes place in U. S. will become a hot topic in a Russian family in a second（Y的真不错）. Therefore, once a scandal happens, it will soon becomes world famous. Consequently, the awareness of the public forces the administrative offices to take actions quickly rather than leave it alone until no one remembers it anymore. In response to Prof. Hwang's scandal, the board of the Seoul National University gave him a punishment as soon as the internal panel found out the truth, which is a positive complement to the problem. Moreover, a worldwide discussion on the peer review system has been ignited, which immediately results into several remedies, such as the clarification of every author's contribution to the paper, and improving the image identification technique in review. Therefore, apart from the diagnosis of the problem, a scandal can also help solve the problem more efficiently. （还是沿用第一点中的例子，学术界。呼应连贯）

Admittedly, not only are scandals vital to the people related to them, they can also cause dozens of negative influences to the whole field, of which the most important one is the damage to the corresponding confidence. Taking the previous scandal as an example, one consequence is that it destroys the public confidence in professors and hence their fruits. Since Prof. Hwang has been considered as an ambitious cheater who is eager to pursue his goals by all means, it is hard to say what will the impression of his peer scientists are to the public. Similarly, people tend not to believe the government if they realize that some members are liars and not deserved to trust. （我感觉similarly后的影响应该在先，前面一句影响在后。因为往往都是对其本人失去信心，然后才是他的同行极其成果吧？从小范围到大范围）Once the confidence has been destroyed by the scandal, it will take a long time and tons of efforts to rebuild it. (如果是我，可能会这么表达这一句，呵呵It will cost a long time and tons of efforts to reconstruct it.好像rebuild偏重于实际的重建，如大楼啊，reconstruct 侧重抽象一点的重建？如功劳)

To sum up, though scandals are detrimental tragedies that can cause severely adverse consequence, they can push things forward by diagnosing and remedying the problems as quick as possible. Therefore, once a scandal unfortunately occurs, it is better to quickly response to it than try to cover it by all means, which leads to a greater scandal most of the time（结尾提出了一个解决丑闻的办法，呵呵有时间可以写。但我觉得这里可以补上你让步段的TS，就是说“但是丑闻也会带来负面影响比如毁坏当事人信誉毁坏民众的信心等”这样的话，这样文章结构更紧凑更呼应，因为你始终在论证一个问题，从头到尾没有提如何解决，最后补一句，是不是有一点多余呢？个人愚见哈～）.

改by Shania  07.7.23

[ 本帖最后由 Shania.33 于 2007-7-23 12:39 编辑 ]

aashunUID: 2362747

Whenever a scandal happens, people consider it as a terrible tragedy because it may completely destroy the public faith of the governments, corporations or universities where scandals take place. However, at the mean time, scandals could have some positive factors because of two major functions they possess: 1) revealing the real problem; 2) arousing the public awareness, both of which are favored to solve the problems and push things forward. [这里建议把阿拉伯的1和2变成on one hand…; on the other hand…]

To begin with, real problems can be revealed through the exposure of a scandal. For instance, an academic scandal was reported in South Korea that Dr. Hwang Woo-Suk, a famous professor in Seoul National University [一开始我也是用的黄禹锡这个例子：) 找了很多资料] who has claimed several important breakthroughs in stem-cell research, turned out to be a cheater who provided fake data in order to validate their publications in top journals [named Science and Nature]. This event has astonished the whole academic area, not only because of what he has done, but also how he could cheat his peer scientists successfully. [递进用得到位！] Consequently, the crux of this scandal has been revealed. Apart from Prof. Hwang's wrong deeds, the pivotal issue is the review system of the academic area, in which scientists and engineers should find better ways to judge a research result valid or not. Regarding the Hwang's scandal, people should inspect the reason why the reviewers were convinced by Prof. Hwang's assertion and accepted their results, and try to make efforts to check the validity of research work more strictly to keep such tragedies from happening again. Therefore, despite the discomfort, such scandals are able to put things forward because the flaws may not be diagnosed without these events.

In addition, since whenever [我可能会把whenever换成once，这样把时间句变成条件句，也许更合理些]a scandal happens, it will spread all over the world in no time, leading to the public awareness of the problem which is a positive factor because it is actually a pressure that makes the administrations try to solve the existing problem immediately. Nowadays, the media [可以添加such as…举几个例子吧~] [network删除network 因为media本来就是集合名词表宽泛的概念] is so powerful that even a piece of news that takes place in U. S. will become a hot topic in a Russian family in a second. Therefore, once a scandal happens,[呵呵 这里你果然也用了once] it will soon becomes world famous. Consequently, the awareness of the public forces the administrative offices to take actions quickly rather than leave it alone until no one remembers it anymore. In response to Prof. Hwang's scandal, the board of the Seoul National University gave him a punishment [and he resigned] as soon as the internal panel found out the truth, which is a positive complement to the problem. [这里感觉和第一段略显重复，但是我一时也想不出好的例子 囧~] Moreover, a worldwide discussion on the peer review system has been ignited, which immediately results into several remedies, such as the clarification of every author's contribution to the paper, and improving the image identification technique in review. Therefore, apart from the diagnosis of the problem, a scandal can also help solve the problem more efficiently.

Admittedly, not only are scandals vital to the people related to them, they can also cause dozens of negative influences to the whole field, of which the most important one is the damage to the corresponding confidence. Taking the previous scandal as an example, one consequence is that it destroys the public confidence in professors and hence their fruits. Since Prof. Hwang has been considered as an ambitious cheater who is eager to pursue his goals by all means, it is hard to say what will the impression of his peer scientists [are] to the public. Similarly, people tend not to believe the government if they realize that some members are liars and not deserved to trust. Once the confidence has been destroyed by the scandal, it will take a long time and tons of efforts to rebuild it [把it具体化，换成 the lost confidence].

To sum up, though scandals are detrimental tragedies that can cause severely adverse consequence, they can push things forward by diagnosing and remedying the problems as quick [soon 这个地方个人体会不一样 quick是指速度快 soon是指两者时间差短 我觉得后者更合适] as possible. Therefore, once a scandal unfortunately occurs, it is better to quickly response to it than try to cover it by all means, which leads to a greater scandal most of the time.

照例还是没限时间，觉得构思加动笔还不算很困难，但挑选例子并把其写好着实花了不少时间。我的感觉是例子的积累很关键，但质量（即对某个例子的挖掘深度）比数量更加重要。在平时的练习中应该多花时间把一个例子给想明白，争取让它适用于多个题材中，嗯哪。
[已经很不错了 我和你深有同感！ 例子太难把握了！真想搞几个万能例子~ 尽管这个几乎不可能！^_^ 大家一起加油]

ldongxpUID: 2311083

友情支持shalonbas。。。

Whenever a scandal happens, people consider it as a terrible tragedy because it may completely destroy the public faith of the governments, corporations or universities where scandals take place. 不错 However, at the mean time, scandals could have some positive factors because of two major functions they possess: 1) revealing the real problem; 2) arousing the public awareness, 感觉2个作用有点重复，揭示不就是让民众知晓？ both of which are favored to solve the problems and push things forward.

To begin with, real problems can be revealed through the exposure of a scandal. 添几句，稍稍解释如何揭示 For instance, an academic scandal was reported in South Korea that Dr. Hwang Woo-Suk, a famous professor in Seoul National University who has claimed several important breakthroughs in stem-cell research, turned out to be a cheater who provided fake data in order to validate their publications in top journals. This event has astonished the whole academic area, not only because of what he has done, but also how he could cheat his peer scientists successfully. Consequently, the crux of this scandal has been revealed. Apart from Prof. Hwang's wrong deeds, the pivotal issue is the review system of the academic area, in which scientists and engineers should find better ways to judge a research result valid or not. Regarding the Hwang's scandal, people should inspect the reason why the reviewers were convinced by Prof. Hwang's assertion and accepted their results, and try to make efforts to check the validity of research work more strictly to keep such tragedies from happening again. Therefore, despite the discomfort, such scandals are able to put things forward because the flaws may not be diagnosed without these events. 例子不错，说理也不错,不过多些例子会更有说服力

In addition, since whenever a scandal happens, it will spread all over the world in no time, leading to the public awareness of the problem which is a positive factor because it is actually a pressure that makes the administrations try to solve the existing problem immediately. Nowadays, the media network is so powerful that even a piece of news that takes place in U. S. will become a hot topic in a Russian family in a second. Therefore, once a scandal happens, it will soon becomes world famous. Consequently, the awareness of the public forces the administrative offices to take actions quickly rather than leave it alone until no one remembers it anymore. In response to Prof. Hwang's scandal, the board of the Seoul National University gave him a punishment as soon as the internal panel found out the truth, which is a positive complement to the problem. Moreover, a worldwide discussion on the peer review system 感觉根上段讨论有些重复 has been ignited, which immediately results into several remedies, such as the clarification of every author's contribution to the paper, and improving the image identification technique in review. Therefore, apart from the diagnosis of the problem, a scandal can also help solve the problem more efficiently. 一个例子从始至终的用，未免太单调，而且，例子越少说服力越小

Admittedly, not only are scandals vital to the people related to them, they can also cause dozens of negative influences to the whole field, of which the most important one is the damage to the corresponding confidence. Taking the previous scandal as an example, one consequence is that it destroys the public confidence in professors and hence their fruits. Since Prof. Hwang has been considered as an ambitious cheater who is eager to pursue his goals by all means, it is hard to say what will the impression of his peer scientists be to the public. Similarly, people tend not to believe the government if they realize that some members are liars and not deserved to trust. Once the confidence has been destroyed by the scandal, it will take a long time and tons of efforts to rebuild it.

To sum up, though scandals are detrimental tragedies that can cause severely adverse consequence, they can push things forward by diagnosing and remedying the problems as quick as possible. Therefore, once a scandal unfortunately occurs, it is better to quickly response to it than try to cover it by all means, which leads to a greater scandal most of the time.
语言流畅、结构完整，说理清晰
前2个观点有些重复的嫌疑，总是用一个例子说服力未免不够

[ 本帖最后由 ldongxp 于 2007-7-23 23:01 编辑 ]

shalonbasUID: 2184474

楼上几位辛苦了，在此一并谢过 ：）

jojogaotianUID: 2189450

Whenever a scandal happens, people consider it as a terrible tragedy because it may completely destroy the public faith ofthegovernments, corporations or universities where scandals take place.(丑闻不一定是悲剧吧~有点严重了这话，比如Clinton Sex Scandal就不很悲)However, at the mean time, scandals could have some positive factors because of two major functions they possess: 1) revealing the real problems; 2) arousing the public awareness, both of which are favored(建议helpful) to solve the problems and push things （什么things？词组不错，用的有点牵强）forward.

To begin with, real problems can be revealed through the exposure of a scandal. For instance, an academic scandal was reported in South Korea that Dr. Hwang Woo-Suk, a famous professor in Seoul National University who has claimed several important breakthroughs in stem-cell research, turned out to be a cheater who provided fake data in order to validate their publications in top journals. This event has astonished the whole academic area, not only because of what he has done, but also how he could cheat his peer scientists successfully. Consequently, the crux of this scandal has been revealed. Apart from Prof. Hwang's wrong deeds, the pivotal issue is the review system of the academic area, in which scientists and engineers should find better ways to judge whether a research result is valid or not. Regarding the Hwang's scandal, people should inspect the reason why the reviewers were convinced by Prof. Hwang's assertion and accepted their results, and try to make efforts to check the validity of research work more strictly to keep such tragedies（这个词不很恰当啊~）from happening again. Therefore, despite the discomfort（这个词组什么意思？哪里不便？）, such scandals are able to put things forward（用reveal就可以了吧） because the flaws may not be diagnosed without these events.（这个例子我觉得用的很赞很赞，偶完全想不到，向您学习）
In addition, since whenever a scandal happens, it will spread all over the world（这传播速度也太惊人了吧，要看什么级别的scandals啊）in no time, leading to the public awareness（可以用attention） of the problem which is a positive factor because it is actually a pressure that makes the administrations try to solve the existing problem immediately. （这句话太长了，考官会不会看的有些吃力？而且结构不很清楚）Nowadays, the media network is so powerful that even a piece of news that takes place in U. S. will become a hot topic in a Russian family in a second.（太绝对了。。。个人感觉） Therefore, once a scandal happens, it will soon becomes world famous. （感觉这句可有可无。。scandal变得famous？）Consequently, the awareness of the public forces the administrative offices（这个词怎么觉得别扭啊。。换个表达法吧）to take actions quickly rather than leave it alone until no one remembers it anymore. In response to Prof. Hwang's scandal, the board of the Seoul National University gave him a punishment as soon as the internal panel found out the truth, which is a positive complement to the problem. Moreover, a worldwide discussion on the peer review system has been ignited, which immediately results into several remedies, such as the clarification of every author's contribution to the paper, and improving the image identification technique in review. Therefore, apart from the diagnosis of the problem, a scandal can also help solve the problem more efficiently. （您的意思我很清楚，但是语言有些累赘，句子很长，看起来挺吃力的，succinct一点会更好的）

Admittedly, not only are scandals vital to the people related to them, they can also cause dozens of negative influences to the whole field, of which the most important one is the damage to the corresponding confidence. Taking the previous scandal as an example, （最好不要三段都用一个例子吧，water gate scandal, Clinton sex scandal都可以用啊）one consequence is that it destroys the public confidence in professors and hence(建议换成so do) their fruits. Since Prof. Hwang has been considered as an ambitious cheater who is eager to pursue his goals by all means, it is hard to say what will the impression of his peer scientists be to the public. Similarly, people tend not to believe the government any more if they realize that some members are liars and not deserved to trust（可用worth trust）. Once the confidence has been destroyed by the scandal, it will take a long time and tons of efforts to rebuild it.

To sum up, though scandals are detrimental tragedies that can cause severely adverse consequence, they can push things forward by diagnosing and remedying the problems as quickly as possible. Therefore, once a scandal unfortunately occurs, it is better to quickly response to it than try to cover it by all means, which leads to a greater scandal most of the time.

呵呵，写的很用心啊~例子确实很好，但是在一篇文章中反复的用。。。建议多收集别的例子；句子感觉有点长啊，建议长短句结合。文章长个人感觉不是坏事，毕竟长是个优势。

Angway，一起努力

以上纯属个人观点。J

[ 本帖最后由 jojogaotian 于 2007-7-25 08:46 编辑 ]