issue207 [OB小组] 第12次作业 define a culture

phillipsareaUID: 2318537

题目：ISSUE207 - "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."
字数：548          用时：00:52:23        日期：2007-7-24 下午 09:23:07
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Decorating a Christmas tree, singing "Jungle Bell" with family and choosing a sock to see what the gift is inside may be the dream of many children in western countries. This may be a common way to celebrate Christmas in the West and of course it helps to define their culture. Like the way people celebrate Christmas, people also have lots of rituals and ceremonies to memorize other things as well, however, such kinds of rituals and ceremonies may not be the only factor to help define a culture.

First of all, these rituals and ceremonies may be considered as a symbol of a certain culture, which helps distinguish itself from others. People sing songs and pray in these rituals and ceremonies in order to show their personal belief and faith. The Spring Festival in China is just a case in point. Every year in China, every family celebrates the Spring Festival and has a big meal together. In fact, people are not only to celebrate the festival itself, but also sharing and enjoying the time together with the other family members. For instance, in Greece, unlike many other countries, people there don't write obituaries, when a man died, they just ask, "did he have passion when he's alive?" This may be different from any other countries in the world, where people usually write an obituary in memorizing a dead friend or a family member. In a word, different rituals and ceremonies are unique symbols for different cultures and nations.

However, the ceremonies and rituals are not the whole of a culture or a nation. We cannot make a accurate definition of a culture only by several facets of the culture, say the ceremonies and rituals. To definite a culture, people require a careful observation and deep thoughts towards life. For example, how people are dressed in different situations, how they behavior in different table manners and what's their point of view towards daily things, all these are the basic fundament of a integrated culture. It's clear that people in different countries are quite different in such kind of things, and through these things, they can discover the unique chaacteristics and personalities of oneself. Thus, it's necessary for us to receive as much information as we can to help define a culture rather than just through the rituals and ceremonies.

Further more, is it really true that without rituals and ceremonies, groups of people would have a diminished sense of who they are? In my observation, this conclusion is not objective. There're a variety of ways for one to be unique and different from others. Through what he wears, what he prays for as well as what he believes, it's easy for one to discover who he is. So obviously the fact is against the conclusion that people would have a diminished sense of who they are without the rituals and ceremonies.

To sum up, culture is such a complex matter that cannot be defined only by several facets such as the rituals and ceremonies. One who wants to define a culture objectively and have a overall understanding of it should do more research and keep a care observation on people's behavior as well as how they think, only in this way can a culture be well defined.

stonescjUID: 2359180

Decorating a Christmas tree, singing "Jungle Bell" with family and choosing a sock to see what the gift is inside may be the dream of many children in western countries. This may be a common way to celebrate Christmas in the West and of course it helps to define their culture. Like the way people celebrate Christmas, people also have lots of rituals and ceremonies to memorize other things as well, however, such kinds of rituals and ceremonies may not be the only factor to help define a culture.//开头新颖，让我眼前一亮，呵呵～

First of all, these rituals and ceremonies may be considered as a symbol of a certain culture, which helps distinguish itself from others. People sing songs and pray in these rituals and ceremonies in order to show their personal belief and faith. The Spring Festival in China is just a case in point（很连贯）. Every year in China, every family celebrates the Spring Festival and has a big meal together. In fact, people are not only to celebrate the festival itself, but also sharing and enjoying the time together with the other family members. For instance, in Greece, unlike many other countries, people there don't write obituaries, when a man died, they just ask, "did he have passion when he's alive?" This may be different from any other countries in the world, where people usually write an obituary in memorizing a dead friend or a family member. In a word, different rituals and ceremonies are unique symbols for different cultures and nations.//8错8错，感觉你的例子衔接好自然啊～

However, the ceremonies and rituals are not the whole of a culture or a nation. We cannot make a accurate definition of a culture only by several facets of the culture, say the ceremonies and rituals. To definite a culture, people require a careful observation and deep thoughts towards life. For example, how people are dressed in different situations, how they behavior in different table manners and what's their point of view towards daily things, all these are the basic fundament of a integrated culture. It's clear that people in different countries are quite different in such kind of things, and through these things, they can discover the unique chaacteristics and personalities of oneself. Thus, it's necessary for us to receive as much information as we can to help define a culture rather than just through the rituals and ceremonies.//这段论证不是特别清晰

Further more, is it really true that without rituals and ceremonies, groups of people would have a diminished sense of who they are? In my observation, this conclusion is not objective. There're a variety of ways for one to be unique and different from others. Through what he wears, what he prays for as well as what he believes, it's easy for one to discover who he is. So obviously the fact is against the conclusion that people would have a diminished sense of who they are without the rituals and ceremonies.//这段再饱满点就好了

To sum up, culture is such a complex matter that cannot be defined only by several facets such as the rituals and ceremonies. One who wants to define a culture objectively and have a overall understanding of it should do more research and keep a care observation on people's behavior as well as how they think, only in this way can a culture be well defined.//结尾也不错，总结的很好
总体感觉phillipsarea的文章读起来很舒服，呵呵
要好好学习学习～

phillipsareaUID: 2318537

呵呵,大家一起进步,你指出的问题也是我最近感觉到的,就是我的文章好像是一段比一段少,一段比一段单薄,这个大概是因为我之前想好了好的例子和论点,结果太心急就在第一段说了个大半,导致后面没话说,越写越少敷衍了事,以后我要注意一下好好合理分配段落了.

谢谢!

ldongxpUID: 2311083

题目：ISSUE207 - "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."
字数：548          用时：00:52:23        日期：2007-7-24 下午 09:23:07
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Decorating a Christmas tree, singing "Jungle Bell" with family and choosing a sock to see what the gift is inside may be the dream of many children in western countries. This may be a common way to celebrate Christmas in the West and of course it helps to define their culture. Like the way people celebrate Christmas, people also have lots of rituals and ceremonies to memorize other things as well, however, such kinds of rituals and ceremonies may not be the only factor to help define a culture. [我们都写了节日，但是不知道ritual、ceremony这些礼仪，仪式是不是指这些节日，心里还是有点怕跑题]

First of all, these rituals and ceremonies may be considered as a symbol of a certain culture, which helps distinguish itself from others. People sing songs and pray in these rituals and ceremonies in order to show their personal belief and faith. The Spring Festival in China is just a case in point [good!]. Every year in China, every family celebrates the Spring Festival and has a big meal together. In fact, people are not only to celebrate the festival itself, but also sharing and enjoying the time together with the other family members. [可以谈谈春节如何as a symbol of culture] For instance, in Greece, unlike many other countries, people there don't write obituaries, when a man died, they just ask, "did he have passion when he's alive?" This may be different from any other countries in the world, where people usually write an obituary in memorizing a dead friend or a family member. In a word, different rituals and ceremonies are unique symbols for different cultures and nations [这个nations可以不要吧].

However, the ceremonies and rituals are not the whole of a culture or a nation [为什么要谈nation？]. We cannot make an accurate definition of a culture only by several facets of the culture, say the ceremonies and rituals. To definite a culture, people require a careful observation and deep thoughts towards life. For example, how people are dressed in different situations, how they behavior in different table manners and what's their point of view towards daily things, [可以谈得更具体嘛] all these are the basic fundament of a integrated culture. It's clear that people in different countries are quite different in such kind of things, and through these things, they can discover the unique characteristics and personalities of oneself. Thus, it's necessary for us to receive as much information as we can to help define a culture rather than just through the rituals and ceremonies.

Furthermore, [你谈到了第二点嘛，不错，呵呵，只是下边跟上段有些重复] is it really true that without rituals and ceremonies, groups of people would have a diminished sense of who they are? In my observation, this conclusion is not objective. There're a variety of ways for one to be unique and different from others. Through what he wears, what he prays for as well as what he believes, it's easy for one to discover who he is. So obviously the fact is against the conclusion that people would have a diminished sense of who they are without the rituals and ceremonies.

To sum up, culture is such a complex matter that cannot be defined only by several facets such as the rituals and ceremonies. One who wants to define a culture objectively and have a overall understanding of it should do more research and keep a care observation on people's behavior as well as how they think, only in this way can a culture be well defined.
[感觉写得不错，
我这几天倒是写作没感觉。。。]

phillipsareaUID: 2318537

谢谢，开头那个节日的确感觉不踏实啊。。。