argument177 [0710G +U Aug小组]第一次作业

warlockUID: 2364623

OPIC: ARGUMENT177 - The following is a letter that recently appeared in the Oak City Gazette, a local newspaper.
"Membership in Oak City's Civic Club-a club whose primary objective is to discuss local issues-should continue to be restricted to people who live in Oak City. People who work in Oak City but who live elsewhere cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city. It is important to restrict membership to city residents because only residents pay city taxes and therefore only residents understand how the money could best be used to improve the city. At any rate, restricting membership in this way is unlikely to disappoint many of the nonresidents employed in Oak City, since neighboring Elm City's Civic Club has always had an open membership policy, and only twenty-five nonresidents have joined Elm City's Club in the last ten years."
WORDS: 459

        
In this letter ,the author recommends  the member ship in Oak City's Club whose primary objective is to dicuss local issues should continue to be limited to the residents. To support the recommendation, the author claims that non-residents who live in the city cannot truly understand the issues of the city and only residents pay city taxes  understand the way to use money. Further more, he cites the example that during the last ten years, only 25 nonresidents have been in Civic Club of the neighboring Elm City.Evidently,the author fails to provide us enough proof in order to convince us.

To begin with, the author fails to provide the evidence that why  the non-residents cannot truly under stand the business and politics of the city.Though they only work in the city, we cannot just define them as "innocent" .If the non-residents bear excellent education, and have a perfect perspective on the promblem of the economy and the politics, the author's assumption "cannot turly understand "will fall into a fallacy.Moreover, if the non-residents happen to be the elite of the nation, they will probably have a better notion than the residents do.So, the author must show the material that the non-residents in the paticular city "cannot truly understand "the business and politics.

Even assuming the non-residents truly obain little knowledge about the city, to claim that the tax payers  understand how money could be used is open to doubt.Similary, the author fails to give the proof to convince us the ability of the residents.As a common civilian, what he concerns about is the family to be supported, the child to be raised.He will take more care of the furnishment than the city improvment.So the conclusion that all residents will share the same understanding is unconvincing.

Furthermore, the author commits a false analogy between Oak City and Elm City.The number of the non-residents in Elm City should be uncovered.If there are only 30 nonresidents in the Elm city ,25 of which have joined the club,it is a fatal proof to confirm the fallacy that nonresidents donot tend to get diappointed.Moreover, even if only 25 nonresidents have joined the club and there are a number of nonresidents,  the condition ten years ago was uncertain. If the author cannot eliminate these probabilities, the conclution is still open to    doubt.

To sum up, the author fails to adequately support the recommodation that the membership in oak city should be restricted to residents only.The author must tell us the reason why nonresidents cannot truly understand the business and politics and why tax payers know the usage of the money.And the author still need to deliver more information about the lackness of nonresidents who have joined the club during the past ten years in Elm City.

ddbearUID: 2275294

In this letter ,the author recommends  the member ship（membership，题目里是连着写的吧） in Oak City's Club whose primary objective is to discuss（^^）local issues should continue to be limited to the residents. To support the recommendation, the author claims that non-residents who（not）live in the city cannot truly understand the issues of the city and only residents （who） pay city taxes  understand the way to use money. Further more, he cites the example that during the last ten years, only 25 nonresidents have been in Civic Club of the neighboring Elm City. Evidently, the author fails to provide us enough proof in order to convince us. （这里你只罗列了原文观点，没有开始说为什么fail，感觉并不evidently，用however如何？）

To begin with, the author fails to provide the evidence that why  the non-residents cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city. Though they only work in the city, we cannot just define them as "innocent" .If the non-residents bear excellent education, and have a perfect perspective on the problem（^^） of the economy and the politics, the author's assumption "cannot truly（^^） understand "will fall into a fallacy. Moreover, if the non-residents happen to be the elite of the nation, they will probably have a better notion than the residents do. So, the author must show the material that the non-residents in the particular（^^） city "cannot truly understand "the business and politics.

Even assuming the non-residents truly obtain（^^）little knowledge about the city, to claim that the tax payers  understand how money could be used is open to doubt. Similarly（^^）, the author fails to give the proof to convince us the ability of the residents. As a common civilian, what he concerns about is the family to be supported, the child to be raised. He will take more care of the furnishment than the city improvement（^^）. So the conclusion that all residents will share the same understanding is unconvincing.

Furthermore, the author commits a false analogy between Oak City and Elm City. The number of the non-residents in Elm City should be uncovered. If there are only 30 nonresidents in the Elm city, 25 of which have joined the club, it is a fatal proof to confirm the fallacy that nonresidents do not tend to get disappointed（^^）. Moreover, even if only 25 nonresidents have joined the club and there are a number of nonresidents, the condition ten years ago was uncertain.（一个uncertain感觉说不清楚，感觉说even if…, that is for the last ten years, while the current situation and future trend are uncertain.会好些） If the author cannot eliminate these probabilities, the conclusion（^^）is still open to doubt.

To sum up, the author fails to adequately support the recommendation（^^）that the membership in oak city （大写） should be restricted to residents only. The author must tell us the reason why nonresidents cannot truly understand the business and politics and why tax payers know the usage of the money. And the author still need to deliver more information about the lack（lack就是名词了）of nonresidents who have joined the club during the past ten years in Elm City.（最后这句没看懂……）


第一次改，还没来及的学怎么用v3，也没看组长推荐的帖子，我就简单的提几个建议吧：
1.注意标点符号后面的空格——这个格式挺重要的。 写完了先贴word里改一下吧，这样能避免很多拼写错误，我标^^的地方就是了~
2. 结构很清楚，再接再厉！
3. 参考别人的，说不定论点能找得更多——也说给我自己的，呵呵~第一次，大家一起加油！

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

In this letter ,the author recommends  the member ship（membership，题目里是连着写的吧） in Oak City's Club whose primary objective is to discuss（^^）local issues should continue to be limited to the residents. To support the recommendation, the author claims that non-residents不用- who（not）live in the city who（not）live in the city改成employed是不是更好 cannot truly understand the issues of the city and only residents （who） pay city taxes  understand the way to use money. Further more, he cites the example that during the last ten years, only 25 nonresidents have been in Civic Club of the neighboring Elm City. Evidently, the author fails to provide us enough proof in order to convince us. （这里你只罗列了原文观点，没有开始说为什么fail，感觉并不evidently，用however如何？）

To begin with, the author fails to provide the evidence that why  the non-residents cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city. Though they only work in the city, we cannot just define them as "innocent" .If the non-residents bear excellent education, and have a perfect perspective on the problem（^^） of the economy and the politics, the author's assumption "cannot truly（^^） understand "will fall into a fallacy. Moreover, if the non-residents happen to be the elite of the nation, they will probably have a better notion than the residents do. So, the author must show the material that the non-residents in the particular（^^） city "cannot truly understand "the business and politics.

Even assuming the non-residents truly obtain（^^）little knowledge about the city, to是不是改成the更好 claim that the taxes payers  understand how money could be used is open to doubt. Similarly（^^）, the author fails to give the proof to convince us the ability of the residents. As a common civilian, what he concerns about is the family to be supported, the child to be raised. He will take more care of the furnishment than the city improvement（^^）. So the conclusion that all residents will share the same understanding is unconvincing.

Furthermore, the author commits a false analogy between Oak City and Elm City. The number of the non-residents in Elm City should be uncovered. If there are only 30 nonresidents in the Elm city, 25 of which have joined the club, it is a fatal proof to confirm the fallacy that nonresidents do not tend to get disappointed by the restriction（^^）. Moreover, even if only 25 nonresidents have joined the club and there are a number of nonresidents, the condition ten years ago was uncertain.（一个uncertain感觉说不清楚，感觉说even if…, that is for the last ten years, while the current situation and future trend are uncertain.会好些） If the author cannot eliminate these probabilities, the conclusion（^^）is still open to doubt.

To sum up, the author fails to adequately support the recommendation（^^）that the membership in oak city （大写） should be restricted to residents only. The author must tell us the reason why nonresidents cannot truly understand the business and politics and why tax payers know the usage of the money. And the author still need to deliver more information about the lack（lack就是名词了）of nonresidents who have joined the club during the past ten years in Elm City.（最后这句没看懂……）这应该是中式英文吧

你本身写的很好，楼上的也改得很好，我已经是鸡蛋里挑骨头了，汗`还是发一下吧，看在我用先打印出来又在电脑上查对半天的份上不要拍我。

ddbearUID: 2275294

:eek:
汗死我了，好大的字……
我当时那个^^符号 格外扎眼……