Argument164 有拍必回

乳虎UID: 2251211

164.Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledge that tourists are willing to pay money to tour some of the architect's buildings, so it can be expected that tourists will want to visit this new building. The income from the fees charged to tourists will soon cover the building costs. Furthermore, such a building will attract new students as well as donations from alumni. And even though such a building will be much larger than our current need forstudent housing, part of the building can be used as office space.

Claitown大学需要为学生提供负担得起的住房和建造这些住房的融资途径。对于这一问题的最好解决办法就是请一位知名建筑师来设计一幢试验性和未来式的建筑。众所周知游客愿意花钱参观这名建筑师的一些建筑，因此我们可以预测游客将想要参观这座新建筑。从游客那里收取的钱将很快收回建楼的成本。而且，这样一座建筑将会吸引校友的捐款和新学生。尽管这样的建筑将比我们当前学生住房所需的大很多，但它的一部分可以用作办公空间。


提纲：
1一座实验性和未来式的建筑不一定能给Claitown University带来丰厚的旅游收入。
2一座实验性和未来式的建筑不一定能吸引更多的学生。
3一座实验性和未来式的建筑不一定能吸引更多来自校友的捐款。


In this argument, the arguer recommends that Claitown University should commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic building  to design a experimental and futuristic building. In order to support his or her recommendation, the arguer predict that the reputation of the architect will attract many tourist to tour the building, furthermore the income will soon cover the cost. Then the arguer predicts further that the more students and more donation from alumni will be attracted by the building. At last, the arguer claims that the space in the building can be used  as office space. In my opinion, the argument is suspicious in several respects.

In the first place, the fact that tourists like paying money to tour famous architects’ work is scant evidence to ensure that the building in Claitown University must attract tourists. Admittedly, some buildings designed by a famous can attract tourists, moreover, some of them even serve landmark of a city, for example Eiffel. Nonetheless tourists are only interested in those architects’ masterpiece, especially those located in interesting place rather than all their buildings. It is absurd to predict that a building in university campus is attractive to tourists. Because the arguer fails to provide us with enough evidence indicating that the building in Claitown University must be attractive to tourists, he or she can not convince me.

In the second place, the arguer falsely assumes that the building will attract more students. Actually, whether a university can attract more students does with the quality of teaching and the reputation of it rather than a experimental and futuristic building. Evidently the purpose for students to attend university is to develop in intelligence, health, morality etc, so what they care about most is what professors are like and what the curriculum is like rather than what’s the building like. Even if a university has the most experimental and futuristic building, if his quality of teaching is poor, students are not likely to attend it. Unfortunately, the arguer fails to prove that the building will improve the quality of Claitown University, on the contrary, because the building will cost too much, it is likely for Claitown University to decrease some more useful and necessary investment which will decline the quality of Claitown University.

Last but not the least, the argument's recommendation relies on a poor assumption that the building will attract more donation from alumni. However, the arguer fails to provide credible evidence indicating that alumni will be more likely to donate to  Claitown University .In reality, a experimental and futuristic building seldom do with the amount of donation from alumni. The factors that influence the alumni’s enthusiasm  are the economic success of them and their emotion to Claitown University. It is ridiculous to claim that a mere a building will improve their economic success and their emotion to Claitown University.

To sum up, the argument involves a lot of logical flaws that render the recommendation unconvincing. That a recommendation is lily to inflict Claitown University a great loss. In order to consolidate it, the arguer must provide reliable evidence which indicates that a experimental and futuristic building will attract tourists, more students and more donation from alumni for Claitowm University.

[ 本帖最后由 乳虎 于 2007-7-28 22:45 编辑 ]

njuzhshaoUID: 2258118

首先，拼写错误太多了啊……建议用word看一遍，把自己常写的错字记一记。

看文章感觉语言依然比较生硬，不够流畅，提点逻辑结构的词组位置和用法都略显生硬；几个分论点立的很好，论证逻辑不够清楚充分。时间还很多，Argument可以求精的，加油。