argument2 [k.b.9.11]第五次作业

chineseliUID: 2366474

TOPIC: ARGUMENT2 - The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."
WORDS: 322          TIME: ×××××          DATE: 8/18/2007 9:48:15 PM

The writer suggests that Deerhaven Acres(DA) should adopt restrictions on landscaping and housepainting in order to raise the property values. His suggestion is result from the experience of the nearby Brookville community. This argument sounds good and effective, but in fact, it is logically flawed for many points and details will be discussed below.

To begin with, the writer commits a false analogy between DA community and Brookville community. In order for the Brookville community to serve as a model that DA should emulate, the writer must assume that all the economical condition, environmental condition and the customs in the two communities are the same, but this assumption is unwarranted. For example, people in the two communities may have different likes. In Brookville, people may think all the community's yards landscaped and painted under the same direction is very beautiful while the residents in DA may don't think so. DA's residents may think it too dull and drab that  houses are all made in the same look, if so, the adoption of the restrictions will cause a wide opposition and the price of houses which are painted following the restrictions may even decline. So the communities maybe incomparable and it is unwise to introduce the restrictions without further details of the two communities.

In addition, the writer assumes the high property values in Brookville must result from the adoption of the restrictions, but it may not be the case. Many reasons can cause the increase of house price besides the restrictions. For example, maybe during the recent years, the population in Brookville boomed a lot  and that lead to a increasing demand for houses, so the house price increased greatly. In this way, the basis of the argument is flawed.

In sum, the conclusion made by the writer may rely on a false analogy and the reason for the increased house price in Brookville may not be what the writer assumes. A more specific statement of the two communities is needed, and without this further information the writer's conclusion cannot stand.

goldzincUID: 2378390

The writer suggests that Deerhaven Acres(DA) should adopt restrictions on landscaping and housepainting in order to raise the property values. His suggestion is result from the experience of the nearby Brookville community(根据原文应是acre). This argument sounds good and effective, but in fact, it is logically flawed for many(some就行了) points(,) and details will be discussed below.

To begin with, the writer commits a false analogy between DA community and Brookville community. In order for the Brookville community to serve as a model that DA should emulate, the writer must assume that all the economical condition, environmental condition and the customs in the two communities are the same, but this assumption is unwarranted. For example, people in the two communities may have different likes(hobbies 或者 interests什么的比较好吧). In Brookville, people may think all the community's yards landscaped and painted under the same direction is very beautiful while the residents in DA may don't think so. DA's residents may think it too dull and drab that houses are all made in the same look, if so, the adoption of the restrictions will cause a wide opposition and the price of houses which are painted following(直接说followed就行了) the restrictions may even decline. So the (two) communities maybe incomparable and it is unwise to introduce the restrictions without further details of the two communities.
(这段挺长的，在段内应该加强一下层次)
In addition, the writer assumes the high property values in Brookville must result from the adoption of the restrictions, but it may not be the case. Many reasons can cause the increase of house price besides the restrictions. For example, maybe during the recent years, the population in Brookville boomed a lot and that lead to a increasing demand for houses, so the house price increased greatly. In this way, the basis of the argument is flawed.
(这段明显可以再详细一点么 莫非是为了写到30min以内？)
In sum, the conclusion made by the writer may rely on a false analogy and the reason for the increased house price in Brookville may not be what the writer assumes. A more specific statement of the two communities is needed, and without this further information the writer's conclusion cannot stand.

总体来看字数不多，事实上把第二点展开讲一下字数就很理想了。
最后祝你一路顺风，军训减训，训练再苦也不要忘了复习哟。

wuyeUID: 2348444

可能是要军训了或是去过节，你这篇也写的很hasty，therefore，它就容易出很多问题：

1 构思阶段没有进行一下系统的规划，导致你的两个批驳点
看起来顺序倒置。理论上应该是先说B的论据有问题，再一个让步说类比。可是你的正相反。Perhaps这就是你的思路，但我个人认为不妥。

2 两段的笔墨和深度差得太多，尤其在第二段的疲软混很容易让人怀疑你没有写完或至少没来得及写爽，正如楼上说的，可能是拼时间导致的~那就没办法了~

3 暂时没构思出来，想到再说~

祝军训不要太累！

prophetluoUID: 2240098

第一段和第三段 详细点就好了^_^

祝楼主军训顺利^_^

[ 本帖最后由 prophetluo 于 2007-8-20 10:43 编辑 ]